Okay, been in two cities now... and Ok Cupid is such a bummer now. (women, attracted)
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On your thoughts? Well you definitely aren't going to attract any "blondes", hope your stereotypes serve you well.
I find that 'interesting, quirky, funny' people are a small % as well, one just has to look a little more. Avoid those advertising themselves this way though, it's similar to when someone says they're 'intelligent'...that would be easy enough to be deciphered on its own.
On your thoughts? Well you definitely aren't going to attract any "blondes", hope your stereotypes serve you well..
But, I've dated several blondes. Don't know why you think I wouldn't attract any (waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait. hard stop. weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllll... from the science perspective here, let's be honest, blondes are a lot... like AN EFFING LOT rarer without the magic of hair dye). Maybe we're just stereotyping the vast majority that are faking it. Zero genetics in play here.
Last edited by Eastbound_And_Up; 05-22-2018 at 03:21 AM..
Like the title says, I've been in a new city here for just over two weeks and I feel like I've already exhausted Ok Cupid for any dating potential. I mean, I've got a good number of likes I put out there (even though I didn't find many profiles that "wowed" me, I'm giving the benefit of the doubt it's full potential)... and getting no matches.
What happened here? It wasn't ever "great" (are any of these OLD apps?), but as your less-than-mainstream resident weirdo*, it was the one site I could count on to find the quirky, not-so-basic ladies that I'd be into, and conversely might actually have a shot of them being into me. Now, it's neigh impossible to look at any of the profiles on there and find much of anyone to get amped about... just surprisingly few people even on there, and surprisingly fewer people I'm attracted to... and I'm not what I would call picky. Who I tend to find captivatingly cute aren't necessarily the usual showstoppers most of the time, really. I'm on another, more niche site (altscene), that somehow has better options all around than the much bigger OkC. It's not very popular at all, but at least there's people on there that I feel compelled to take ten minutes out of my day to give it the ol' college try and send an opener.
Anyone still getting anything of value out of OkC? I just don't get how such a well designed site turned into such a demographic dumpster fire in the three or four years that I wasn't on it. I hardly even expect a lot of compatible profiles, but rather a diversity people including some I might get on with. I dunno. I just get frustrated and log off before and have to go through it in short stints. It's depressing. You used to be cool, OkC, now it's like 8:00 AM at Starbucks.
*I'm really not THAT weird, but it seems like it doesn't take much to put off the "normals" in this dating culture.
You need to send out actual messages on OkCupid, not just “likes.” I had an A-list subscription so I could see all the “likes” that I was getting, but what exactly was the point of me “liking” those guys back if they didn’t even like me enough to send a message?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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OKC used to be great. In my region, and most people I know in the Northeast at least, say its pretty dead. I've checked it out a few times and met a few people over the last 6 mos on it, but it is WAAAAAY down. People have gone wholesale to Bumble. Often enough, we connect on bumble and if there is any rapport we exchange OKC user names.
Some of the changes on OKC were good (re matching before messaging), but the "real name" change attempt scared women off wholesale. That was super stupid of them. All the aware/woke people were scarred off. It was the place of choice for them do to their flexible gender and sexuality terms, but they were completely community deaf with that name thing.
I went back on Okc after being off of it for a few years, and there was hardly anyone on it at all. After a week, I just got off of it, and never went back.
Pretty sure "all" is a mathematical impossibility. They're pretty much all "the type" on altscene (the fakes are SUPER obvious being blonde bimbos looking for "honest, caring men", with zero bands added, haha! ), but again, that's a small and pretty specific site.
Maybe Coffee Meets Bagel... that's less douchey for the most part... I think... I quit it though because it was matching me with super-not compatible people every damn day. I dunno. Feel free to chime in, people.
Really, there is a huge element of chance involved, no matter what avenue you go. I will say that the lazy Saturday a.m. when I was drinking coffee and browsing and ultimately decided to message my now-husband, I had had one in a series of suuuuuuper lackluster dates the night before, and was about to cash out of the whole affair and just chill for a while, because the dates I'd been going on had resulted in what blossomed into a few okay mutual FWB situations, but mostly a mutual "meh," overall, and I was getting tired of putting in the effort for a blase experience. But his profile (even though it had no real picture) was interesting in a way few had been, so I sent a hail mary, just to see what happened. For his part, he was newly back from having been stationed abroad (Navy officer, though I didn't know that at the time), and was looking online to re-jump start dating. He'd had basically the same experience I had, and was also about to step back from it, because, eh. He was intrigued because I messaged him first. By rights, we could have very easily NOT met, at all. Instead, we did, and have literally not been significantly apart since.
So there's that. There is timing and chance involved in meeting people where it all aligns, and you can't really do much about it. And, additionally, if you are something of a niche interest/acquired taste, you're going to be more difficult to match no matter what, and doubly so if you have very specific, hardline nonnegotiable parameters for what you're looking for in a partner. For the most part, we limit our own fields, in that sense. If there are just a lot of super-not-compatible-with-you people out there, that's just kind of an "it is what it is," situation. I don't know that there is necessarily some elusive and top secret dating app where all the people perfect for you are hiding out. I think it is a mixed bag wherever you go.
Especially if you are writing people off wholesale as "not worth sending a message to." Like anything else, if you find yourself having the same trouble wherever you go...it is probably time to look inward...it's quite possible it's not the places/venues/method that's creating the stumbling block...it's just you.
You probably weren't worth sending an actual message to. There are nary few on OkC these days. I really haven't found one since moving. OkC women are mostly garbage, just like PoF at this point.
Ok, if you can do so much better than OKC/POF women then don’t use those sites. Then you won’t have to create threads complaining about how you can’t get any matches on there. Problem solved!
Not sure if this was mentioned at all, but I am curious which two cities are we talking here?
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weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllll... from the science perspective here, let's be honest, blondes are a lot... like AN EFFING LOT rarer without the magic of hair dye). 
Maybe we're just stereotyping the vast majority that are faking it. Zero genetics in play here. 
Now, it's neigh impossible to look at any of the profiles on there and find much of anyone to get amped about... just surprisingly few people even on there, and surprisingly fewer people I'm attracted to... and I'm not what I would call picky. Who I tend to find captivatingly cute aren't necessarily the usual showstoppers most of the time, really. I'm on another, more niche site (altscene), that somehow has better options all around than the much bigger OkC. It's not very popular at all, but at least there's people on there that I feel compelled to take ten minutes out of my day to give it the ol' college try and send an opener. 
I dunno. I just get frustrated and log off before and have to go through it in short stints. It's depressing. You used to be cool, OkC, now it's like 8:00 AM at Starbucks. 
