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Most likely, I'll just leave it up and do an occasional sweep through the candidates, make some likes, see if some match up, send a message every once in a while if there's any standouts.
I just miss when there were more ladies I found attractive on there. Even outside of the basic vs. quirky thing, Tinder and Bumble have far more women I find attractive in general. If I'm going throw some time at a dating app full of regular folk, those are probably going to be it.
To be quite honest, OkCupid legit NEVER worked for me. I've had success with dating swipe type apps (Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, etc.), but traditional dating sites like OkCupid were practically a zero for me.
Well, yes-and-no: OkC is probably not worth the time (consensus on Reddit was that a lot of the still-available quirky/artsy types tend to skew younger and age filters are probably obscuring a lot of users from seeing myself and vice-versa... but I also think it's probably not the app of choice for that type at this point). That doesn't answer what is.
I guess I'll put up a FetLife profile again. It's closer to the right crowd anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NewYorker11356
To be quite honest, OkCupid legit NEVER worked for me. I've had success with dating swipe type apps (Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, etc.), but traditional dating sites like OkCupid were practically a zero for me.
That's interesting. I've never had a date from one of them, and I almost never get any matches. The last four dates I had came from PoF (1) and OkC (3). Three of the four messaged me first. I guess any favoritism here is based on the best personal experience.
I skipped from page 1 to 6, so I missed a lot of posts
Dating isn't like Amazon where you search for what you want, click and get it....
I'm sure the best ways to meet a partner are the old ways, church, work, and you group of friends (every circle of friends always has that "matchmaker".
Before I met my woman for the last 5 years, I found several "activity groups" on a website called www.meetup.com There are groups for everything and for every age group. Some were specific, like golf or hiking or hiking with your dogs as a mixed group of people in the same age range. I belonged to one group that met for (and still meets) for informal volleyball every Thursday, then after VB, with everyone hot and sweaty, they'd go to a local restaurant for a late dinner. They would also pick nights to meet at a bar with a band playing, made wreaths to sell for charity in November, meet for outdoor free concerts in the summer. You might find someone to take out on a 1 on 1 date, but you might also make a woman friend who you don't want to date, and she doesn't want to date you either, but she may say to you at volleyball, "I have a friend I'd like you to meet. I think you would like each other". Been known to happen.
And as you are new in town, Meetup is a great way to make friends and meet people and learn the city.
I agree that FL isn't really optimized to be a dating site (and I believe that was deliberate.) But I also met my SO that way.
I guess my personal impression is that those who are just profiles on FL but not involved in the real life communities, seem a little sketchy to me (even if they aren't.) I know that's probably unfair. But when I would get a message from a guy, and say "well, come to the next get together at this bar" and he'd be like, "No, I don't involve myself in communities," and especially if he said there was "drama"...that to me was a red flag. I guess because it's so sexually charged there, that it seems almost like they expect that I'm going to just show up at a totally un-vetted dude's house and go do stuff in his basement with him, activities that could threaten my safety even if he's a good person but untutored in best practices, and I'm supposed to trust any of this why and how? And at worst, he might in fact have prior experience in a community he doesn't want me to know about, like maybe he was kicked out for bad behavior. So I can't imagine getting together with someone from FL if that is the entirety of their presentation to me.
However, as an aid to facilitating community activity? Oh, it's wonderful for that. I use it to track what's happening, when and where, and who is going to be there. And I'm totally willing to meet up with new people (to make friends, since I'm taken) at events. My boyfriend had been part of the community for a few years already, but was only semi-active at the time, saw my profile and suggested we meet up and chat at an upcoming bar-social event.
I used to think I wanted the guys who had that "edgy" look, OP, too. I even had it in my OKC profile back in the day. I was looking for long or brightly colored hair, piercings and ink, artists and musicians, that kind of thing. Or so I thought. Then I met a guy who looked completely (and boringly) normal...but turned out to be intensely weird under the surface, and I was like "wow...this whole complex/layered thing...it's interesting..." Realized I enjoy more the ones who, no matter what their outer appearance, have really strange depths once you start getting to know them. And that some of the ones loudly flying a freak flag, were not always all that interesting beneath the surface.
I'm sure the best ways to meet a partner are the old ways, church, work, and you group of friends (every circle of friends always has that "matchmaker".
Atheist
Freelancer that works from home (and contracts are with companies in other cities)
Just moved to a new city where I have zero friends
I'm not a fan of dating apps, but until I'm more settled in to the area social-wise, it's what it is. Better than nothing. Would be nice if they didn't suck so much to navigate, or I wasn't too "ugly" or "weird" or whatever for them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2
Dating isn't like Amazon where you search for what you want, click and get it....
If transactions of money were involved like on Amazon, you probably could, haha! But at the end of the day, you gotta search for someone you're both attracted to and compatible with or what's the point? The thread was about Ok Cupid. For me, there's not a lot of people on there I'm attracted to and/or interested in. They made changes. Their demo changed. It's just not a fit. I'll spend most of my time elsewhere.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JimG2
And as you are new in town, Meetup is a great way to make friends and meet people and learn the city.
Meetup has been a mixed bag for me. They were okay in the Northwest. They suuuuuuuuuuucccckkked the last place I was at. I'll seek a few out here and see how they fare. I love the idea of them, but a lot of them were comprised of people that you get the feeling didn't really want friends but wanted to pretend they had friends once or twice a month. I'm sure like a lot of things, they're hit-or-miss.
I agree that FL isn't really optimized to be a dating site (and I believe that was deliberate.) But I also met my SO that way.
Like I said, I've been on there. I def won't be burring any high hopes into it. Frankly, I'll be shocked if I find someone attractive and single on there at all.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork
I used to think I wanted the guys who had that "edgy" look, OP, too. I even had it in my OKC profile back in the day. I was looking for long or brightly colored hair, piercings and ink, artists and musicians, that kind of thing.
We may be getting a little hyperbolic here with how much of an "edgy" look I require here. I'm not even that extreme myself, nor am I'm trying to win some too-cool-for-the-mainstream contest. I just have kinda a hipster/modern rocker look. Big beard, undercut (growing it back long on the top), tend to wear fitted black pants, band tees... not all the time, though, sometimes button downs. Probably too much black though, haha!
A good part of it is finding someone attractive that's accepting of my weirdness. You might be overestimating just how open minded the "regular" crowd is of any sort of deviation from the norm. I do message "normal" ladies fairly often (and I've right swiped thousands of them). They're just orders of magnitude less likely to hit me back. That's just how the cookie crumbles.
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I'm not even that extreme myself, nor am I'm trying to win some too-cool-for-the-mainstream contest. I just have kinda a hipster/modern rocker look. Big beard, undercut (growing it back long on the top), tend to wear fitted black pants, band tees... not all the time, though, sometimes button downs. Probably too much black though, haha! 
