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Possible answers considered but rejected because of the lack of dental insurance:
* "No, sweety; the dress doesn't make your butt look too fat; your butt is too fat."
* "No, sweety; your butt is just fat enough."
* "Yes, sweety; it makes your butt look too fat."
* "Sweety, I love you no matter how fat you get."
Maybe part of my problem is that I operate under the assumption that if someone asks for my opinion they actually want my opinion. I suppose I need to put heavier consideration towards how insecurity plays a big role in our interactions with people, even people who are close friends or spouses.
Maybe part of my problem is that I operate under the assumption that if someone asks for my opinion they actually want my opinion.
It depends on the context.
Let's say you're interacting with a customer service agent in person. When they say, "Hi, how are you," that is code for "you're next, what do you want?" That customer service agent does not want you to discuss how you pulled your hamstring or you're getting over the flu or that you haven't had your customary bowel movement as of yet.
Let's say you're interacting with a customer service agent in person. When they say, "Hi, how are you," that is code for "you're next, what do you want?"
But "hi, how are you" is in no way shape or form a request for my opinion or anyone's opinion. It's a salutation.
Maybe part of my problem is that I operate under the assumption that if someone asks for my opinion they actually want my opinion. I suppose I need to put heavier consideration towards how insecurity plays a big role in our interactions with people, even people who are close friends or spouses.
Are you on the autism spectrum, by any chance? That would explain a lot of the nuances that you're missing in general conversation and interaction.
The "do I look fat in this?" question is a joke that no woman should be asking, but the "right" answer for a spouse or loved one should be more along the lines of "That's not the most flattering," or "I liked the other one better." It's not insecure to expect a kind and considerate response from a loved one.
Maybe part of my problem is that I operate under the assumption that if someone asks for my opinion they actually want my opinion.
Yes, that is part of your problem, and you have an erroneous assumption. Somebody wants your opinion but that does not give you license to tell them every negative thing that pops into your head. You are treating a request for information as a waiver for politeness and sensitivity. You probably open the flood gates and let somebody have the whole negative thing.
In a relationship there is no excuse or reason to ever abandon tact or sensitivity. It's like the "honey do I look fat" questions. The only way to ever answer that one truthfully is if the pants don't make her butt look fat. Otherwise you have to be inventive in finding a diplomatic answer. No considerate woman would ever put her man on the spot like that, she'd be just as insensitive to ask the question since she must already know the size of her derriere.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RJ_
I suppose I need to put heavier consideration towards how insecurity plays a big role in our interactions with people, even people who are close friends or spouses.
Correctamundo! Only what you need to figure in is not just insecurity but any sensitive subject.
Somehow I always manage to have a few small faux pas on any date, but I manage to keep them small ones. I hate it that I have to be this way but I have to be very circumspect and careful in my dating conversations. It's sometimes like chess, having to think a few moves ahead and avoid any major situations.
There is such a thing as social grace. When you have it you have smooth flowing conversations with no speed bumps or awkward situations. You must be very clever in not getting off into contentious subjects. And that depends on the audience, so you always have to tailor your conversations to the acquaintance, friend or lover they are.
If anything I consider the above to be part of the art of flirtation. You had better get the conversations right, that's the most important part of a date! The purpose of a date is to get to know a potential partner better while at the same time having fun. The conversation is how you get to know your partner better. Fail this part and you blew the relationship!
I know of one sure fire way; have a lot of money. When I started making good money and had all the trappings that go with it, all of a sudden women who normally would not give me the time of day, were after me.
I know of one sure fire way; have a lot of money. When I started making good money and had all the trappings that go with it, all of a sudden women who normally would not give me the time of day, were after me.
Yes, and in fact you can just bypass dating and buy arm candy. Wow! Aren't you in for a great time!
Yep, those are going to be some great relationships, those women and your money. You don't even need to provide any personality!
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