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The roller-coaster of emotions you're going through is reminiscent of what I went through during my divorce. I dont care how long and how well you think you know someone, especially your spouse, you'll never be able to read their mind. Ive learned when it comes to infidelity, people will do things out of character...some of the stupidest things.
You're in denial right now and cant believe this happening, but again, focus on the divorce, get your ducks in a row, and make plans for your future. I'm sorry, but shes gone, bro - once you have truly accepted that, you'll start to move on.
Yep, I got a retainer and yes the Attorney did mention that my wife can make me pay the fees, if she hires counsel as well, it's called need-based fee award, but I'm not rich and we don't have a lot of money nor do we have a lot saved , no assets, properties or stocks. Not sure where that money would come from if she goes that route, it just means she will get even less, and keep in mind she is going to have an offset on some debts we accrued prior to the date of separation.
There is only so much the courts will take, I have liabilites already locked in that I have to pay for and she will be responsible for 50% of that, how it's offset I dunno?
No it doesn’t work like that. She will get half of asset balance as of the day you filed. And if you or her pulled more than half of the money out to spend on yourself, including attorneys fees, you will have to repay the other. Attorneys fee awards are figured after assets and debts are divided. Be careful with the attorneys.
If she want's to move out sooner, the Attorney said she will have to go figure it out with the Courthouse and file a motion to get money sooner. Attorney flat out said, she won't be getting anything for a while, I don't think my Wife understands how it works.
Oh she’ll get it within a month. And that’s going to cost you extra attorneys fees. If it were me, I’d just give it to her. If fact, like I suggested earlier, I’d willing offer her alimony for 1 year and permanently end it after that. You guys could agree and get all this drawn up real quick and save so much money and future debt, but now you’re going to fight. $$$$
She can get a full time job and you STILL will have to pay her alimony because of the cost of living in CA.
Yep, I got a retainer and yes the Attorney did mention that my wife can make me pay the fees, if she hires counsel as well, it's called need-based fee award, but I'm not rich and we don't have a lot of money nor do we have a lot saved , no assets, properties or stocks. Not sure where that money would come from if she goes that route, it just means she will get even less, and keep in mind she is going to have an offset on some debts we accrued prior to the date of separation.
There is only so much the courts will take, I have liabilites already locked in that I have to pay for and she will be responsible for 50% of that, how it's offset I dunno?
Oh she’ll get it within a month. And that’s going to cost you extra attorneys fees. If it were me, I’d just give it to her. If fact, like I suggested earlier, I’d willing offer her alimony for 1 year and permanently end it after that. You guys could agree and get all this drawn up real quick and save so much money and future debt, but now you’re going to fight. $$$$
She can get a full time job and you STILL will have to pay her alimony because of the cost of living in CA.
Let's leave the legal counseling to his attorney, they know what they are doing.
OP, yes, you are in shock. Please stop trying to talk sense into her. Focus on yourself instead.
The roller-coaster of emotions you're going through is reminiscent of what I went through during my divorce. I dont care how long and how well you think you know someone, especially your spouse, you'll never be able to read their mind. Ive learned when it comes to infidelity, people will do things out of character...some of the stupidest things.
You're in denial right now and cant believe this happening, but again, focus on the divorce, get your ducks in a row, and make plans for your future. I'm sorry, but shes gone, bro - once you have truly accepted that, you'll start to move on.
Yes, I know. Thanks, I'm trying on making it through to the end, but this is just the beginning.
No it doesn’t work like that. She will get half of asset balance as of the day you filed. And if you or her pulled more than half of the money out to spend on yourself, including attorneys fees, you will have to repay the other. Attorneys fee awards are figured after assets and debts are divided. Be careful with the attorneys.
Not sure I'm following you? 50% of my 401K and checking account balance, yes, only thing I have, she gets. Household items are tallied up and it's between us who get's what, I'll likely give her a lot because I plan on downsizing, I don't need much.
No check is cut to her and money won't come anytime soon according to my Attorney. If she want's the money sooner, she will have to file a motion at the courthouse and the judge will review it, seeing she is not working and is college educated, is going to flag her.
The attorney fees were pulled after the date of separation, so they are mine to worry about. If I bumped the date of separation past that then it would be the opposite.
I copy and pasted some info as it pertains to CA below. I used the date of separation the day I found she was cheating online and confronted her, then she made her statement about it being over between us and I found someone else.
If my wife goes and gives all her money to "it" and incurs debts, it's not my responsibility.
The law here on that was revised and went into effect in 2017, my Attorney also said that she can live with till the divorce is final, but won't get any support. If I take away too much from her, she can file a motion that I'm not providing enough and the courts can look force me to give her compensation.
A new California law went into effect on January 1st of this year that amended the Family Code to allow for a couple to be considered “living separate and apart” while still living under the same roof for purposes of establishing a date of separation as a precursor of divorce. This Senate bill also applies retroactively to all divorce cases that are still pending as of January 1st, 2017.
Specifically, Senate Bill 1255 adds new California Family Code Section 70. Section 70(a) maintains that date of separation means the date that a complete and final break in the marital relationship has occurred, as evidenced by the two following facts: (1) the spouse has expressed his or her intent to end the marriage to the other spouse; and (2) the conduct of the spouse is consistent with his or her intent to end the marriage.
As for Mr. Internet, I knew he wasn’t real. So he’s a scammer. Gosh, she has to know this. I think she’s just using “him” as an escape.
No, he or she is not real, I have not yet been able to determine what sex it is, I believe my wife is talking to "it" based on some comments she made and what I read.
She still believes "it" is the celeb who will remain private for his protection. I told her this is the last time I'm telling you or talking about it, you are being used and you will remember me telling you so when you find out. She got nasty and said I'm wrong, I also caught her in lies because I said things to her using what I read in the chat logs, but making it sound like I read it on a article.
Said, they ask about donations, opening checking accounts, and etc. She said none of that applies and that "it" didn't make her attempt to open 2 checking accounts in the past two weeks, and I asked why that bank and she said "I read it was a good bank", in the chat log, "it" told her to open a bank with his place.
So she is lying right to my face and when I read the chat logs, there really is nothing there in romantic content or deep discussions, more one liners and what the status is on money, getting a job and my assets more of a fantasy, unless they are talking more on the phone.
Oh she’ll get it within a month. And that’s going to cost you extra attorneys fees. If it were me, I’d just give it to her. If fact, like I suggested earlier, I’d willing offer her alimony for 1 year and permanently end it after that. You guys could agree and get all this drawn up real quick and save so much money and future debt, but now you’re going to fight. $$$$
She can get a full time job and you STILL will have to pay her alimony because of the cost of living in CA.
We have not discussed anything yet on the support, this will come later. I'm going to give her options, that best suit us both.
I don't have a lot of available credit, I kept my credit line low on purpose. We don't have a home, there is no equity line of credit. There is little to no available credit to afford extra attorney fees, the courts won't make me live on fumes when I have to support her and my current liabilities.
I also have other tools if needed, I can find a job that pay's a lot less here and live in a RV, I have no problem doing that, it's very common here. That will limit what she gets as well.
I'm well aware of the laws here and will exercise them at my discretion.
My wife may look stupid, but she isn't going to cut the hand that feeds too much or make my life living hell, because I have other means to make her's equally. Thankful there are no kids, no house or lot's of assets, land and stocks.
"There are many reasons why a support order may need to be changed. Maybe the spouse or partner that was getting support no longer needs it, or the person paying support has had a significant drop in income and can no longer afford the amount of support."
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