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We’re couples who broke up due to one person not wanting kids and the other wanting kids really in love? When I think in love, I think of doing anything for the other person. I am skeptical of if these people were really fully in love.
No that is emphatically a bad way to look at it... You don’t have kids to appease your partner or spouse. If so that will lead to divorce/separation and one parent being **** poor.
You’re either “all in” on having kids or you must be out.
I would say the person who doesn’t want kids agrees to have one. You don’t always get what you want. That’s part of being in a relationship and not being single. If my wife wants to live in the city and I want To live in the suburbs I’m not going to break up with her.
Yeah, that's not how it works.
Children is something you don't compromise on.
If someone doesn't want them they're well within their rights to get out of the relationship.
You can love someone and still want a different life than they want.
Completely true. I've had a male friend for over 30 years. Our relationship has shifted back and forth over that time but we have always loved each other. Even discussed marriage but decided not to pursue it because we had different goals at that point professionally (we are in the same field). There was never a "break up". Just a mutual realization. Our relationship survived it. I didn't want kids then and haven't regretted it. He wanted a family. He met and married his wife about 20 years ago and they have 2 kids. What they wanted at that time and he's a great dad. It's all fine. I still love him, he still loves me. His wife and I are friends; we have a lot in common (we love razzing our mutual male connection). I'm glad they chose what made them happy.
I would think it would be incredibly hard to find someone who doesn’t want kids.
I have had many discussions and been on forums and groups for childfree by choice. I have seen marriages end when one party changes his/her mind. Offhand I'd say that there are more childfree men than women, but that is anecdotal. I certainly think that someone who is sure they don't want to be a parent (and there are those of us, men and women who know deeply that this is their feeling) should likely have a vasectomy or tubal ligation, to avoid any accidental pregnancies. I call it "the lack of desire made flesh."
Me and a gal split because she was 40 and wanted kids. Yeah, even after 40 she was wanting kids badly. I am a few years older than her and I pretty much made the decision not to have kids...after 40. Her b/f before me, she broke up with him for the same reason and he was the same age, of course...she was in her mid 30s at the time....but not without having been with him for 5 years.
So yeah, although I prefer women without kids, even after 40 if they've never had them, some still have a desire to have them. Never saw the appeal in being 50-something with a young child.
I am a firm believer that the kids/no kids issue is a deal breaker. However, I've seen it goes both ways successfully.
One couple didn't have a child and 35+ years still happily married and no regrets on either side.
Another couple, compromised on a one and done. 10 years later, they have a strong marriage and a happy and healthy child.
In order for a compromise to work, the person giving in needs to move forward and embrace the decision without animosity. No remembering or reminding they were the one to compromise. Very hard to do.
I would say the person who doesn’t want kids agrees to have one. You don’t always get what you want. That’s part of being in a relationship and not being single. If my wife wants to live in the city and I want To live in the suburbs I’m not going to break up with her.
You are talking about a human child. A HUMAN CHILD.
What about when accidents happen? 45 percent of pregnancies in the U.S. were unintended in 2011. That's half out of 6 million in the country. The rate drop a bit over the years, but they still happen. What do couples do in this situation?
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(we love razzing our mutual male connection). I'm glad they chose what made them happy.
