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My friend dated a guy for 5 years. Up front she told him she wanted kids and he said the same. 5 years in when they were financially stable enough for her to want to start trying for a baby he admitted he didn't want kids and never had. He said he only told her he wanted kids when they started dating because he knew she wouldn't date him if he said he didn't. She loved him very much but left him because they both wanted different things in life and there is no compromise when it comes to wanting kids and not wanting kids
My sister told me that happened to her coworker a few years back, the girl was baby crazy and the guy she was dating said he wanted to wait until after they were married. They were together for about 5 years before they got married, after which he told her he didn't want kids. When asked why he didn't tell her before, he said he knew she would never have went out with him if she knew the truth. Not sure how it ended.
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Originally Posted by Frostnip
One of my parents wanted kids and the other didn't.
Needless to say, my siblings and I did not have a particularly happy childhood.
Both of my parents wanted boys, prior to having me, they had two girls. 18 months after i was born they had their golden child. So i lost attention afterwards. Traumatic as a child, great for when i was a teen sneaking out of the house.
I had this discussion with my ex. I'm nearing the end of my child bearing years and sometimes i still get the pull to have one more. He was 15yrs older than me and didn't want anymore, but said he would if it was that important to me. I said that even if i did want more I wouldn't have one with him knowing that he didn't want it. If i felt very strongly about having another baby i would have left the relationship.
I would think it would be incredibly hard to find someone who doesn’t want kids.
But not impossible. I never wanted kids, and have a few friends that felt the same (we're all past the kids stage, so not likely we'll change our minds).
But not impossible. I never wanted kids, and have a few friends that felt the same (we're all past the kids stage, so not likely we'll change our minds).
Considering that I often see people on this forum saying they don't ever want kids, I'd say it's a lot more common than people think.
Well, roughly 80% of US women eventually have at least one child, so you can say the vast majority want at least one, but, 20% of the US female population is not exactly an insignificant number of people. This does make random encounter "dating" sort of disappointing for the child-free guy, but, there are online options so you can meet only people who tick the "child free" box.
Apparently the online dating world for child-free is not all that good, maybe someone should set up a website specifically for this.
I would say the person who doesn’t want kids agrees to have one. You don’t always get what you want. That’s part of being in a relationship and not being single. If my wife wants to live in the city and I want To live in the suburbs I’m not going to break up with her.
The time to discuss children is before marriage - it’s just common sense to know if the other person is on the same page as you or not (with such a life altering decision). Children should be brought into this world because both parents wanted them. Parenting is hard enough as it is, I’m sure, without the added stress of making such an important decision based on compromise (that will last a lifetime). Living in the suburbs or city - or where to go to dinner - are compromises. Bringing a new life into this world is not - it’s not fair to the child.
Perfectly legit reason considering not everyone will be a good parent.
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