Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Hi everyone,
I’ve been living in with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We moved in because both us were looking for a place. My housemate moved back with her family and he was leaving his work accomodation as he quit that horrible job.
It seemed a good idea to move in together. (We moved in after dating for 5 months)
His sister was going through domestic violence so the dad decided to come and stay with us for 2 months and apparently help his daughter.
My boyfriend is Indian. While his dad was at our place, he made me feel so uncomfortable. He would come home after going out and he would say stuff like “this place isn’t amicable!!” Just 1 min after coming in. He made fun of my achievements. He kept on saying when his wife was alive she would cook better dishes than me. I always try to find the easiest and convenient dishes to cook. He gave me disgusting looks when I came home. Never replied back to my greetings etc etc
I kept quiet and wasn’t even comfortable sitting with my boyfriend and his father. I felt I was trapped in my own house. Meanwhile his dad was taking advantage of my silence. He started telling my boyfriend he deserves better. He deserves happiness.
In the end, last week he was here: his dad told my boyfriend he doesn’t like me, told him he would never accept me and my boyfriend should leave me and never marry me. When my boyfriend said he can’t do that. His dad asked him if I was better than him!?
After he left, our relationship went all weird. We barely spoke. Things were bad. Until we spoke and I told him I am scared of having his dad here again. To which he told me recently he can’t tell his dad not to come here again.
Well I paid for so many expenses (grocery, alcohol, etc & etc) when his dad was here. My boyfriend was broke. (He has a job but is still in so much debt) My boyfriend recently went back to India for a family trip. He came back saying I don’t want to marry you. I don’t want kids. It’s not about me but he doesn’t wanna marry anyone else. (That’s his father has nothing to do with his marriage decision)And also he wants a partner that would get along with his dad. He wants me talk to his dad again.
I don’t understand why in a live in relationship I should have to accomodate his family!? Be nice to his family when they are not. My boyfriend has never wanted to speak to my parents. He said he won’t and wouldn’t. So why should I do all he wants? Am I wrong? I don’t know what to do. There’s not much affection and intimacy left in our relationship. My boyfriend also never make me feel especial, surprise me, take me out.
I am lost.
Last edited by Isolation; 06-18-2019 at 10:32 PM..
Your boyfriend is controlled by his father and you deserve better. I know it doesn't seem possible, but one day you will realize that it's a good thing he doesn't want to marry you. It's time to leave the relationship, though it will hurt like crazy at first. If you don't he will dump you anyway and you will feel even worse about yourself.
Why are you with him? Do you think you're not capable of attracting anyone else at all?
Honest question.
I love him that’s why. I want it to work between us.
He told me he wouldn’t leave me. That after marriage there’s only one thing that’s remaining which is to have kids and that’s not him.
He’s a good person but I also know he is controlled by his father.
Hi everyone,
I’ve been living in with my boyfriend for almost 2 years.
Snipped for space
I am lost.
Here is some honest, but harsh thoughts for you to consider.
First, the fact you have been together for two years in this relationship means nothing. You were providing his needs and security. This makes him a user, not a boyfriend. If he loved you, he would not be broke. He would have found a way to make money and contribute.
Second, the fact he puts his father's feelings over yours speaks volumes. If he has you as secondary now, in a few years you will be lucky if you are even number ten. He wont get stronger feelings about your importance as the years go by.
Third, you have a massive self esteem issue going. You allowed yourself to be used and degraded in your own house. If he ever respected you, he doesn't now. He will feel entitled to disrespect you in the future. He will do so again at some point to impress or please others, or maybe just for the joy of it. Respect never comes back without drastic action. Act like a doormat and you will always be walked on. Bullies pick on people until they get punched in the mouth. Someone who disrespects others is just an emotional bully. But they often later turn physical, and you don't want to be physically abused. Stand up for yourself now while you can. The longer you allow this, the harder it is to muster the courage to take a stand.
Fourth, somewhere out there is a guy who is sincere, lonely and decent. That guy deserves a girl who loves him, and you deserve a guy that will love you. Find the guy you deserve and tell the other one to hit the road.
If you don't you wont even respect yourself. Don't allow his abuse to become your way of thinking and define your life.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
