My boyfriend doesn’t wanna marry me (women, kids, advice)
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Yes I can afford living alone. I can buy my own furniture. 50% of the furniture is mine so yes I can do without few things.
Financially you would be okay then.
Next step is what you want emotionally and mentally.
Your home should be a place of refuge from the world, not a place of stress. Your partner in life should be a support and not a burden. You should be able to lean on him not be crushed by him.
Make this your dream and goal. Is there a way with counseling to make this happen with this guy? If it cannot be with this partner then it is time to make changes to move on.
I'm sorry to say it but I think you are being used.
It's one thing to not want to get married, but he won't even stand up for you and prevent his father from disrespecting you, wants nothing to do with your family, mooches off you, and avoids intimacy with you.
These aren't the actions of a man in love, they are the actions of a user, plain and simple. With every new rejection and sign that he doesn't value you, he discovers you are willing to accept less and less.
This isn't what love and respect are supposed to look like. It is the complete opposite.
Don't settle, or allow yourself to be treated like this.
You can do so much better than this.
If it is this way now, it will only get worse in the future -trust me.
Hi everyone,
I’ve been living in with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We moved in because both us were looking for a place. My housemate moved back with her family and he was leaving his work accomodation as he quit that horrible job.
It seemed a good idea to move in together. (We moved in after dating for 5 months)
His sister was going through domestic violence so the dad decided to come and stay with us for 2 months and apparently help his daughter.
My boyfriend is Indian. While his dad was at our place, he made me feel so uncomfortable. He would come home after going out and he would say stuff like “this place isn’t amicable!!” Just 1 min after coming in. He made fun of my achievements. He kept on saying when his wife was alive she would cook better dishes than me. I always try to find the easiest and convenient dishes to cook. He gave me disgusting looks when I came home. Never replied back to my greetings etc etc
I kept quiet and wasn’t even comfortable sitting with my boyfriend and his father. I felt I was trapped in my own house. Meanwhile his dad was taking advantage of my silence. He started telling my boyfriend he deserves better. He deserves happiness.
In the end, last week he was here: his dad told my boyfriend he doesn’t like me, told him he would never accept me and my boyfriend should leave me and never marry me. When my boyfriend said he can’t do that. His dad asked him if I was better than him!?
After he left, our relationship went all weird. We barely spoke. Things were bad. Until we spoke and I told him I am scared of having his dad here again. To which he told me recently he can’t tell his dad not to come here again.
Well I paid for so many expenses (grocery, alcohol, etc & etc) when his dad was here. My boyfriend was broke. (He has a job but is still in so much debt) My boyfriend recently went back to India for a family trip. He came back saying I don’t want to marry you. I don’t want kids. It’s not about me but he doesn’t wanna marry anyone else. (That’s his father has nothing to do with his marriage decision)And also he wants a partner that would get along with his dad. He wants me talk to his dad again.
I don’t understand why in a live in relationship I should have to accomodate his family!?Be nice to his family when they are not. My boyfriend has never wanted to speak to my parents. He said he won’t and wouldn’t. So why should I do all he wants? Am I wrong? I don’t know what to do. There’s not much affection and intimacy left in our relationship. My boyfriend also never make me feel especial, surprise me, take me out.
I am lost.
This is something guys are trained, since young boys, to deal with all the time. Coo-coo pants, right?
He came back saying I don’t want to marry you. I don’t want kids.
he wants a partner that would get along with his dad. He wants me talk to his dad again.
My boyfriend has never wanted to speak to my parents. He said he won’t and wouldn’t.
I don’t understand why in a live in relationship I should have to accomodate his family!?
My boyfriend also never make me feel especial, surprise me, take me out.
I am lost.
Why are you lost?
Read the above - what you don't understand? What he said isn't clear enough?
He lives with you because he is broken and you are provider.
Who pays all the bills and buys groceries, clean the house, do laundry, cook AND give him free sex?
His father doesn't like you and he will never accept you as his daughter in law. When you marry, you marry all your husband family. You are expected to take care of his family, even if they don't want you.
Also your BF said that he doesn't want to meet or talk to your family. Don't you see why?
This is a completely different culture. Are you ready for that?
It doesn't matter actually because your BF will NOT marry you. He is just using you.
There is no affection and there is no love. You need to do a reality check, because this will not get any better.
You are just wasting your time, money and affection on this guy...
Why are you talking about furniture?? That should be the least of your worries. You should be asking yourself why you want to be with someone who doesn't respect you. Someone who uses you. Someone who WILL NOT MARRY YOU.
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