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Lots of men use the wine and dine, movies, gifts, anything to get laid. It all evens out. If it doesn’t you’re stupid.
I don't do anything to "get laid". I've never been laid. Yep, I'm in my early 30s and still a virgin. A few reasons for this.
1) The morals and values I've been raised with, I believe in waiting until I'm married to have sex. I'm sticking to it. If it means I die a virgin, so be it. Whatever.
2) To me, sex is not worth spending loads of money for. It is ludicrous for me to wine and dine someone for the opportunity to sleep with them, particularly if said woman is not my wife. I won't do anything to "get laid" with a woman, specifically is she's not my wife.
I've been single forever, and I'll continue being picky. My priority is making sure any woman I date or marry thinks like I do.
It bothers me. I don't want someone dating me just because they're getting a meal out of it. If said person is seeing if we have some chemistry, that's one thing. But if she's only going with me for a meal, she's using me. It doesn't matter if I get to pick the place. This is one reason I'm super picky. I don't like dealing with people who only want to use me. That let's me know I'm not valued as a person. Why be with someone who thinks of you that way?
If she simply said "I'm really hungry and short on money" I'd buy her dinner anyway.
Maybe you would argue "just be honest", OK, but really, this isn't really a huge problem like the article and the OP makes it out to be.
All men need to do is learn to stand up for themselves. Have a little self respect.
Another thing men should do is be careful who they deal with. Same with women. You don't just date anyone. You need to make sure said person is going in the same direction as you and has similar values to you.
It is important to set the standards and the pace right then and there. Let said person know what you will and will not put up with. If said person won't date you as a result, let the go.
If she simply said "I'm really hungry and short on money" I'd buy her dinner anyway.
Maybe you would argue "just be honest", OK, but really, this isn't really a huge problem like the article and the OP makes it out to be.
There is a difference between buying for someone because it's from your heart, and a woman dating you simply for the meal. Big difference. If a person is really hungry, I'll get them some food. The intentions are known. No gold digging involve. If a woman is a gold digger, I won't date her. I want nothing to do with her. The whole purpose of this thread is to talk about gold diggers. There is a difference between someone being truly in need, and someone being a gold digger.
Oh, wait, let me guess: you have to because they're "hot"?
There are plenty of women who aren't "hot" and will still try the gold digger thing. I've met shallow women who wouldn't be considered "attractive". Shallowness is an attitude and sometimes there are women who are shallow because they have a high ego of themselves, not because of how they look. I've met nice looking women who would give someone the shirt of their back.
Another thing men should do is be careful who they deal with. Same with women. You don't just date anyone. You need to make sure said person is going in the same direction as you and has similar values to you.
How do you know if a "person is going in the same direction and has similar values to you" if you never go out on dates, have multiple conversations, and observe their behavior? I agree that shared values are paramount, but values aren't superficially or quickly apparent.
There is a difference between buying for someone because it's from your heart, and a woman dating you simply for the meal. Big difference. If a person is really hungry, I'll get them some food. The intentions are known. No gold digging involve. If a woman is a gold digger, I won't date her. I want nothing to do with her. The whole purpose of this thread is to talk about gold diggers. There is a difference between someone being truly in need, and someone being a gold digger.
Getting a chicken dinner isn't really "gold digging". Maybe it's your attitude?
Times must be hard. I'd rather eat PB & J than be w/ someone only for the meal.
Right?!!
But I hardly consider it news that either gender, at times, does not have the others best interest at heart.
I would feel the same about a headline "Study find some men just date women for sex."
In other news, water is wet.
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How do you know if a "person is going in the same direction and has similar values to you" if you never go out on a date and have multiple conversations with them along with observing behavior? I agree that shared values are paramount, but values aren't often superficially apparent.
I've figured out what some women are looking for just by interacting with their friends or watching them interact with other people. I have had multiple conservations with many women without going on dates with them. There are things I've been able to pick up on. I could find out if they were a family person or if they were some immature party animal.
And some of it has to do with the places you go, and the people you see each day. I also look at how they carry themselves.
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