Why is it that every guy I end up dating ask to borrow money? (guys, love)

[athena53]

Look up "people pleaser". I still have to fight that behavior. My first husband was a leech and I won't go into a complete list of all the things I spent money on to make him happy, but at the top of the list would be taking on a car loan in MY name so he could buy is dream car in HIS name. It was 1983 and I took on a $10K loan. The paperwork was a little complicated but the bank let us do it. My second husband made half what I did and had little savings but lived below his means and didn't expect me to help him out financially.

I'm widowed now and dating again. I'm dating a very nice man of very modest means. He knows I have a lot more than he does and he's never asked me for a dime. I'd be horrified if he did.

Please be nice to yourself and find guys who aren't leeches.

[Sassybluesy]

Are you the nurturing type?

[PriscillaVanilla]

I don't know why the OP is being blamed for this. "It's all your fault". "You're too timid." "You didn't say no."

Nobody knows any of this.

Perhaps some men these days feel women "owe" them.

[somebodynew]

Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla

I don't know why the OP is being blamed for this. "It's all your fault". "You're too timid." "You didn't say no."

Nobody knows any of this.

Perhaps some men these days feel women "owe" them.

Whatever the men FEEL won't help the OP. The only way for the OP to not be in this situation is to learn to say NO. Blame has nothing to do with it.

[hawaiiancoconut]

Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla

I don't know why the OP is being blamed for this. "It's all your fault". "You're too timid." "You didn't say no."

Nobody knows any of this.

Perhaps some men these days feel women "owe" them.

To have every guy she had dated ask for money highly doubtful. Man bashing thread

[funymann]

Originally Posted by hawaiiancoconut

To have every guy she had dated ask for money highly doubtful. Man bashing thread

Sounds fishy.

I’m mean, the guy must say stuff like, “Oh, I left my wallet in my car.”

Then I picture her saying, “It’s ok, I will get it.” When she should say, “Where ya parked?”

[AdamAnythe]

When you say you met them at work, you mean they were co-workers? Also, how far along were you in the relationships when they began to ask for money? Were you living together?

[yellowsnow]

Only date men who are your equal or better. Don't talk about money and look poor. Unemployed? Works part time from home? Just say no thank you. You are busy and not interested.

[blondiel]

Originally Posted by Badgirkkk

Bc they were like 2 years , 5 months. , 2 months THEY WERE EMPLOYED THEY HAD JOBS THATS HOW I MEET THEM THRU WORK

People talk. The word is out at work that you lend/give money.

[Electrician4you]

Originally Posted by Badgirkkk

I’ve dated about 4 guys and they have all asked me for money even when just starting the relationship couple days weeks into the relationship they ask for money I don’t know maybe it’s me that attracts these types of men but they have jobs and that’s how met at work

Time to learn to say no. Sorry but why are you giving these guys money?