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What do you want, it is a two way street. If she is that desperate to have a kid just be careful, that is for a long time. Don't marry her, especially in an alimony state, you could get screwed in more ways that just what makes a kid. You have to look out for yourself first, as bad as selfishness sounds.
An alimony state? The OP lives in a welfare state. You didn't read all his posts. He said he lives somewhere, where new mothers get a year off with pay, if I understood correctly. The OP lives in a very cushy state, and it's not a part of our Union.
However. even in welfare states, the father is held responsible for any kids he may willfully or inadvertently create. The state comes after the father, and he has to pay child support. But of course, the OP sounds like he wouldn't skip out on his own spawn anyway, but you never know how long he and the child's mother would continue to get along.
You're going to discuss EVERYTHING? Including your misgivings about the situation?.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bimber
Yes. Everything.
Yes. I very afraid test us relationship, When I make her wait so long everything maybe change. We are happy together, I love her and also live in her apartment. If I left her, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life. I will reconcile to being a father.
OP, this doesn't sound like you're going to discuss "everything". And by now, you've probably had the conversation. Would you care to update us as to how it went? I mean...we were here for you throughout your waffling on what to do. The least you could do is tell us what you said to her, and how she reacted, and what the final decision was.
OP, this doesn't sound like you're going to discuss "everything". And by now, you've probably had the conversation. Would you care to update us as to how it went? I mean...we were here for you throughout your waffling on what to do. The least you could do is tell us what you said to her, and how she reacted, and what the final decision was.
Ruth, it is easy to see how this plays out. Ever watch Fangs or The Animal Planet? Nature can be very instructive. Cougars are asphyxiation killers. Once a cougar sinks it fangs into its prey it simply stays there and waits it out. For whatever reasons a strange contentment falls over its prey and the victim just lays there, ceasing to struggle, no yearning to be free, until it slowly suffocates, the eyes glaze over as yet another life that could have been lived falls to the yearnings of a cougar.
Maybe I made some mistakes, as I said I'm not a native English speaker.
I'm feeling very conflicted inside. I feel very comfortable in this relationship. She has always cared about me and I want to have a baby with her. I only worry about my financal situation and as you said career track, but I need to focus on my career by whole life. When should I have children?
I very grateful for every opinion.
Brutally honest, I really don’t think a guy should be thinking about marriage until they’re near 30.
I was also broke at 23, not being aware of what the future holds. I love kids, but having one at that time would’ve been a financial mistake. Get married because you really want to, ultimatums almost never work out.
My fears was overblown.We had talk yesterday and we have compromise. We going to wait year and half. Shall We party some more in this year, will go a good vacation in this and next year, after that we plan quit smoking also . I didn't say this to her yesterday, but I plan to propose to her.
This is fantastic news! Good job, OP! You see? Honesty and good communication pay off. Hopefully you've learned an important lesson, that will stand you in good stead as you go through life with your gf.
Perhaps you could pay us a visit when you complete your education, to give us a progress report on all fronts. Best wishes!
This is fantastic news! Good job, OP! You see? Honesty and good communication pay off. Hopefully you've learned an important lesson, that will stand you in good stead as you go through life with your gf.
Perhaps you could pay us a visit when you complete your education, to give us a progress report on all fronts. Best wishes!
She was very impressed when I started a conversation about I need time to reconcile to being a father, but I very want to have children with her. She also said she wants to be a primary caregiver during her maternity leave and give me a chance to find myself in my first job after studies.
Thanks for answers. I have hope I don't forget about the forum and will give a progress report.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mae Maes Garden
In ten years...IF you make it that long....your “boy toy” days will be behind you. And a child will suffer because of this nonsense.
A few times she told me her friends are jealous of her younger boyfriend, but I have never felt like her toy.
Yes, and he was a 19 year old kid when a 28 year old woman decided to play cougar, went on the prowl, and sank her claws into him. Fine, if she wanted to have a little fun and teach a young man how to make a kitty purr over the course of a long weekend or the summer and thus gift him with a life skill, but otherwise, please. Relative to his age that is an unconscionable age gap, especially in the modern era. Women mature faster then men, and in this case it is very clear we are talking more about a boy than a man: he has not completed his education and has not began his career. FYI, I would harbor the same sentiment if the genders were reversed.
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. I didn't say this to her yesterday, but I plan to propose to her.
Hopefully you've learned an important lesson, that will stand you in good stead as you go through life with your gf. 
Best wishes!
