Lonely singles (men or women) (MERGED) (reasons, people, NYC, years)

[Taggerung]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

What is your solution, then? To make women feel unsafe and dependent so that they need men? Or should the onus be on more men to adapt to what women are looking for in a 21st century relationship?

There is no 'solution,' only a 'resolution.' The current paradigm (not just the mating paradigm, but the whole order) is terminally unsustainable, and unsustainable things must collapse.

Things will resolve themselves, but it will probably be a really, really ugly process, unfortunately.

Mankind is an extremely deeply flawed race. That's why nothing short of a cataclysmic collapse can resolve these issues.

[GoAmericaGo]

Originally Posted by Toxic Waltz

This is where the angry incel type gets it wrong. It's one thing to understand human nature and try to adapt to it or accept your place in it, it's another to see human nature for what it is and be bitter over it and judge women as being evil over it. Men and women in these discussions both seem to have a sort of contempt for the other sex that doesn't lead to anything constructive and leads to a lot of discontented people. The world, and human nature, is what it is, not what we want it to be. Adapt or die(or be removed from the gene pool). And yes some of our traditional values were designed as group adaptations to the reality of human nature but for good or ill those values are being discarded, so you have to adapt to that as well. All the wishing in the world won't change that.

Angry incel type? LOL. I’ve played the game and been with enough women to know how it works. I’m not just some angry person that can’t get anyone to have sex with me. It might be a bitter pill to swallow but what ncsweettea and I are saying is the cold hard truth about how dating and hook up culture work now.

[Taggerung]

The division between the sexes is irreconcilable at this point- and growing still. I think it is extremely likely that we will never see harmonious relations between the sexes in any of our lifetimes, and perhaps harmonious relations between the sexes are done for permanently. That is how bad things are right now.

[GoAmericaGo]

Originally Posted by NCSweettea

Agreed, to an extent. But I don’t think most women realize that just by selecting a few things, even things that somebody can’t do something about they are eliminating a huge potential portion of the pool. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve met a woman who “when I was in college and throughout most of my adult dating years I would only want to date men who were 6 foot or over, but I fell madly in love with a guy who’s 5’9”” or something related to this. Lol it cracks me up. Just by simply selecting 6 foot or over on your dating profile you are in fact eliminating 85% of men on this planet. Lol think about that. So even if you select one thing like that, you’re still very much limiting what’s out there. If you select “6 foot and he makes 100,000 a year or more, now you’re down to about 5%. Lol

This. In someone’s mind it may not sound all that demanding but just a few small criteria can start filtering out a huge amount of potential mates. That’s the nature of the technology though. When you start logically thinking that perhaps 15% of men meet that criteria and virtually all women are open to those men (even if they are not specifically filtering for them) — then you can see why “all I want is….” can often be hard to find. Take that 15% and apply the honest/loyal/doesn’t pump and dump/mentally stable/no drama filters and it could be whittled down to 5% of men or something like that. Those are obviously men almost all women are receptive to. 5% means 95 men out of 100 are eliminated.

[Toxic Waltz]

Originally Posted by fleetiebelle

What is your solution, then? To make women feel unsafe and dependent so that they need men? Or should the onus be on more men to adapt to what women are looking for in a 21st century relationship?

What women are looking for is too conflicted to adapt to in many cases, especially when you compare what they say they want with who they actually choose. The cat's already out of the bag but I think the better approach would've been to try raising moral standards for men instead of lowering them for women. The bane of the feminists sexual existence has been the double standard that a promiscuous man was considered a stud while a promiscuous woman was considered a tramp/harlot/whatever the word filter will let me say. We attempted to force parity by going in the wrong direction, and ironically set our cultural development backward instead of forward.



Also as Christian notions of morality were thrown by the wayside we ended up throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It may not have made sense anymore to try and prohibit sex outside of marriage but perhaps we should've tried harder to continue to limit it to committed relationships. "If it feels good, do it" has had many negative consequences.


Not to mention, instead of switching from patriarchal standards to matriarchal ones maybe we ought to try and find an arrangement that works to preserve the dignity of both sexes.

[Taggerung]

Originally Posted by Toxic Waltz

What women are looking for is too conflicted to adapt to in many cases, especially when you compare what they say they want with who they actually choose. The cat's already out of the bag but I think the better approach would've been to try raising moral standards for men instead of lowering them for women. The bane of the feminists sexual existence has been the double standard that a promiscuous man was considered a stud while a promiscuous woman was considered a tramp/harlot/whatever the word filter will let me say. We attempted to force parity by going in the wrong direction, and ironically set our cultural development backward instead of forward.



Also as Christian notions of morality were thrown by the wayside we ended up throwing the baby out with the bathwater. It may not have made sense anymore to try and prohibit sex outside of marriage but perhaps we should've tried harder to continue to limit it to committed relationships. "If it feels good, do it" has had many negative consequences.


Not to mention, instead of switching from patriarchal standards to matriarchal ones maybe we ought to try and find an arrangement that works to preserve the dignity of both sexes.

There is no putting the genie back in the bottle. Things are just going to have to run their course, all the way to their terminal conclusions.

[Toxic Waltz]

Originally Posted by Taggerung

There is no putting the genie back in the bottle. Things are just going to have to run their course, all the way to their terminal conclusions.

I think you may be right. I am certainly glad that I am out of the game, I can tell you that much. Things were tough enough when I was single, but it seems downright dystopian nowadays.

[GoAmericaGo]

Originally Posted by Taggerung

There is no putting the genie back in the bottle. Things are just going to have to run their course, all the way to their terminal conclusions.

Perhaps things like very major war or depression level economic collapse would have a way of resetting the balance. Or perhaps things do run their course and human population drastically shrinks or gets taken over by societies with more primitive ways of living (Islam).

[Taggerung]

Originally Posted by GoAmericaGo

Perhaps things like very major war or depression level economic collapse would have a way of resetting the balance. Or perhaps things do run their course and human population drastically shrinks or gets taken over by societies with more primitive ways of living (Islam).

Our future is going to be a Hobbesian dystopia- every man, woman, and child for themselves, a war of all against all, where life is solitary, nasty, brutish, poor, and short. This is the unavoidable end result of a no-trust, atomized, free-for-all society.

[johngolf]

I believe there are more women on prescription mind altering drugs the there are men so men need to beware. I also believe women are "pickier" then men. Bottom lin is it is not easy meeting the right person.