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There is no reason to stick to the old stodgy "guys has to make the 1st move" nonsense.
This is 2022 (I had to think about it for a sec what year it was), and as the saying goes... what a man can do, a woman can do better.
One of the most intriguing, most strong and independent woman I've ever met hit on me 1st. And me being the dense idiot didn't realize it and had to have my friend tell me what was happening.
This is a common experience for most men. Unfortunately many guys, particularly in our younger years are bad with social cues. Combine this with the fact that women are rarely direct in their approach and instead opt for sending strong choosing signals. The end result is a lot of missed opportunities.
Number of lonely, single men is on the rise as women with higher dating standards look for partners who are are 'emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values', says psychologist
This is true. Instead of the 80% of us going for the same top 10% of men or whatever, the vast majority of us have just decided not to date at all because it’s more pleasant. I am happy being single. I have at least one other fortysomething friend who is also as single as I am. At this point, I think we know that kids aren’t an option, so why are we going to settle for a man who is going go make thing worse for us? It makes no sense.
So, you're saying the vast majority have decided not to date. Where do you live? Even the single 40s + demographic in my area are still seeking relationship. They've merely grown frustrated with what they perceive as the lack of quality options and therefore proclaim "I don't need a man" and "I'm happy being single" all while buying more pets, getting more degrees, and seeking more therapy all to placate the loneliness. What makes it sad is that many of these women try to guide their younger counterparts into making the same decisions. Not saying this is you, but a lot of women are going to have to get over this princess syndrome. The average man understands he is average and moves accordingly. The average woman believes she is top notch and therefore deserving of the world. Anything less is settling.
So, you're saying the vast majority have decided not to date. Where do you live? Even the single 40s + demographic in my area are still seeking relationship. They've merely grown frustrated with what they perceive as the lack of quality options and therefore proclaim "I don't need a man" and "I'm happy being single" all while buying more pets, getting more degrees, and seeking more therapy all to placate the loneliness. What makes it sad is that many of these women try to guide their younger counterparts into making the same decisions. Not saying this is you, but a lot of women are going to have to get over this princess syndrome. The average man understands he is average and moves accordingly. The average woman believes she is top notch and therefore deserving of the world. Anything less is settling.
I don't think it's that complicated. Most women want to be in a relationship that makes their lives better, not worse. Some women will never stop dating and love being part of a couple, and other women have a "been there, done that" mentality. Especially if they feel like their needs weren't being met in previous relationships, and they don't want to have to pretend to like his favorite team and pick his socks up off the floor. There's actually nothing wrong with a woman choosing pets and travel and degrees over dating, if that's what makes her happy.
There is no reason to stick to the old stodgy "guys has to make the 1st move" nonsense.
This is 2022 (I had to think about it for a sec what year it was), and as the saying goes... what a man can do, a woman can do better.
One of the most intriguing, most strong and independent woman I've ever met hit on me 1st. And me being the dense idiot didn't realize it and had to have my friend tell me what was happening.
BTDT! The guy's best friend, a mutual friend of ours, had to hit him over the head to get him to wake up to what was going on, lol.
I'm in my 40s and most everybody I know is coupled with kids.
And I've always lived on the liberal, educated, hipster coasts.
People can say what they want about not settling for a partner, but having a family is still the driver.
After a certain point, those who don't already have kids make a decision and say ... well, this is the person I'm going with. Just like people say ... well, this is the career I'm sticking with.
Do I think that all of my friends who are married, have kids and live in a house are with their emotional soulmate? Uh, no.
But I will also mention that such a thing can be hypothetical. Nor is it something you need to have a decent life.
Average men have no chance. If you are average plan accordingly and seek out a wife overseas. OLD has changed the game forever and average to below average woman would rather be alone than with an average man. To me it's kind of like when my best friends wife told him "If I can't have the socialite lifestyle I'd rather be homeless". Well. They divorced and she became homeless.
Average men have no chance. If you are average plan accordingly and seek out a wife overseas. OLD has changed the game forever and average to below average woman would rather be alone than with an average man. To me it's kind of like when my best friends wife told him "If I can't have the socialite lifestyle I'd rather be homeless". Well. They divorced and she became homeless.
Unless you want to settle for a below average looking woman then you do have a shot.
I don't think it's that complicated. Most women want to be in a relationship that makes their lives better, not worse. Some women will never stop dating and love being part of a couple, and other women have a "been there, done that" mentality. Especially if they feel like their needs weren't being met in previous relationships, and they don't want to have to pretend to like his favorite team and pick his socks up off the floor. There's actually nothing wrong with a woman choosing pets and travel and degrees over dating, if that's what makes her happy.
Right- no one wants to go into a relationship to be a nurse with a purse or someone’s mom picking up after him wherever he goes. I recently read some advice column about this. A guy said a woman ghosted him after seeing his super messy apartment on their first date. Whoever provided the advice said that wasn’t the woman for him, but my thought is that if you can’t even clean up enough to make a good impression on a first date, it’s only going to go downhill from there.
So, you're saying the vast majority have decided not to date. Where do you live? Even the single 40s + demographic in my area are still seeking relationship. They've merely grown frustrated with what they perceive as the lack of quality options and therefore proclaim "I don't need a man" and "I'm happy being single" all while buying more pets, getting more degrees, and seeking more therapy all to placate the loneliness. What makes it sad is that many of these women try to guide their younger counterparts into making the same decisions. Not saying this is you, but a lot of women are going to have to get over this princess syndrome. The average man understands he is average and moves accordingly. The average woman believes she is top notch and therefore deserving of the world. Anything less is settling.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle
I don't think it's that complicated. Most women want to be in a relationship that makes their lives better, not worse. Some women will never stop dating and love being part of a couple, and other women have a "been there, done that" mentality. Especially if they feel like their needs weren't being met in previous relationships, and they don't want to have to pretend to like his favorite team and pick his socks up off the floor. There's actually nothing wrong with a woman choosing pets and travel and degrees over dating, if that's what makes her happy.
I will also add that being coupled or "settling with average" men, does not stop feelings of loneliness. Many people who are married and have families complain about feeling alone all the time. Often reporting that kind of loneliness is worse than just being single. It's weird that some men will try to shame a woman who chooses self improvement over just dealing with any old body. "Getting pets, getting degrees, and getting therapy." This is a bad thing? This narrative is getting tired and is ridiculous.
Last edited by Auraliea; 08-16-2022 at 08:52 PM..
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