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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by festivusTime
I understand the clunkers. But if you met someone you liked talking to, laugh with, share values, and had a general interest in, why not go out again unless there was something about them you didnt like (ex. looks, schedule difficulties, smell bad, etc)?
NO CHEMISTRY
Quote:
Originally Posted by festivusTime
And if the other person seemed interested, why not say why no date 2. Maybe its a problem that they can fix in the future (not with you, but someone else).
Lack of chemistry can not be fixed. It isn't a "problem", its just not there. And i'm not on a date to fix anyeone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by festivusTime
If someone has some "iffy" parts to them on a first date but you like talking with them, why not go out again? The whole idea of knowing within the first 5 seconds of meeting someone doesnt make much sense to me (unless they are not what they said they were).
It's not about them being "iffy". And its not about "knowing" them.
I hate how the spectrum card is tossed around here so frequesntly, but, seriously... are you just ignoring what I'm saying (in which case do you do that one dates?), or are you just completely ignorant on having chemistry with someone?
Some people just really want that really powerful chemistry right off the bat. I am usually willing to keep dating even if it's "meh", but a lot of people aren't. They are too busy or are just looking for that rare rare chemistry.
Clicking is something a bit more than "They are nice and I like them all right."
Its more a POW! Like the type of thing that makes you call your best friend and say "Wowwwww I met someone amazing!"
Can someone please tell me that most women really dont think like this? There is no hope for people like me
Lack of chemistry can not be fixed. It isn't a "problem", its just not there. And i'm not on a date to fix anyeone.
It's not about them being "iffy". And its not about "knowing" them.
I hate how the spectrum card is tossed around here so frequesntly, but, seriously... are you just ignoring what I'm saying (in which case do you do that one dates?), or are you just completely ignorant on having chemistry with someone?
I never said anything about "fixing", I guess it just seems like a lot of pressure to put on one date.
And whenever I try to express my thoughts to anyone (which is what I should be doing) I am laughed at, be put on the "spectrum", and be told that I am supposed to keep failing miserably at something when I am not being told what it is I am doing wrong. That is hurtful.
I understand the clunkers. But if you met someone you liked talking to, laugh with, share values, and had a general interest in, why not go out again unless there was something about them you didnt like (ex. looks, schedule difficulties, smell bad, etc)? And if the other person seemed interested, why not say why no date 2. Maybe its a problem that they can fix in the future (not with you, but someone else).
If someone has some "iffy" parts to them on a first date but you like talking with them, why not go out again? The whole idea of knowing within the first 5 seconds of meeting someone doesnt make much sense to me (unless they are not what they said they were).
Because it’s not really fair to lead someone on for date after date if you know it isn’t going to work out. I know people who did that- a person checked all the boxes on paper- but when it came down to it, the chemistry wasn’t there. I had one friend who even got engaged to someone in this situation and was with her for 4 years. That was 4 years she could have spent with someone else.
Lack of chemistry can not be fixed. It isn't a "problem", its just not there. And i'm not on a date to fix anyeone.
It's not about them being "iffy". And its not about "knowing" them.
I hate how the spectrum card is tossed around here so frequesntly, but, seriously... are you just ignoring what I'm saying (in which case do you do that one dates?), or are you just completely ignorant on having chemistry with someone?
HE. DOESN'T. UNDERSTAND. WHAT. CHEMISTRY. IS.
Sheesh... is it *that* complicated? Is it *that* 'out there' to consider "Hey! There MAY be some people who don't 'get it'?"
And, therefore, saying the same thing over and over will not change that. He. Doesn't. Understand.
It's like people who do NOT understand English - repeating yourself louder and louder to them IN ENGLISH does not make them UNDERSTAND what you are saying.
Last edited by Euskalherria; 08-17-2022 at 01:07 PM..
Can someone please tell me that most women really dont think like this? There is no hope for people like me
I'm a woman and I don't think like this; I give the man three dates before I can make a decision.
I don't base my dating on first meet sexual chemistry; I like to take my time and get to know the person face to face first for three dates before deciding if we should proceed further.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by RamenAddict
Because it’s not really fair to lead someone on for date after date if you know it isn’t going to work out. I know people who did that- a person checked all the boxes on paper- but when it came down to it, the chemistry wasn’t there. I had one friend who even got engaged to someone in this situation and was with her for 4 years. That was 4 years she could have spent with someone else.
Absolutely the worst. I learned long ago that keep going out with someone because they check a bunch of boxes and are cute is absolutely wrong headed. Wasting my time, their time, and is being downright disrespectful, almost dishonest.
The reality is, the vast majority of the time there is no "why". It's just not there.
Because it’s not really fair to lead someone on for date after date if you know it isn’t going to work out. I know people who did that- a person checked all the boxes on paper- but when it came down to it, the chemistry wasn’t there. I had one friend who even got engaged to someone in this situation and was with her for 4 years. That was 4 years she could have spent with someone else.
Well ... it takes two people to stay in a relationship, so if she wanted to be in it, then he did her a favor.
Sheesh... is it *that* complicated? Is it *that* 'out there' to consider "Hey! There MAY be some people who don't 'get it'?"
And, therefore, saying the same thing over and over will not change that. He. Doesn't. Understand.
It's like people who do NOT understand English - repeating yourself louder and louder to them IN ENGLISH does not make them UNDERSTAND what you are saying.
Its terrible when people say "you dont get it" without even bothering to explain what "it" is. Yelling doesnt help.
To me when I get told "you dont get it" with this stuff, they are speaking a language of jibberish. I only wish it was explained in English
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