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And don't get discouraged because so many people your age are all wrapped up in their childrens' activities. My son was part of an indoor soccer group that met weekly until they all hit about 30 and started getting married and having kids. Most of them were his friends from high school. He's been forced to make different friends because they are all busy with family life, except for a few guys and women who are still single.
There are plenty of singles who engage in all kinds of fun sports: kayaking, rock climbing, backpacking, ziplining, etc. etc. That's where to meet people, along with all kinds of other interest groups. But you have to make an ongoing commitment to it, i.e. engaging in something that interests you and that you truly enjoy.
I was talking to my son's ex a few years ago over dinner. She's discouraged because "no one wants to get married anymore." Well, that's partially true for different reasons (and it IS California so that's a factor as well). She's gorgeous, highly educated, makes fabulous money with a great career, has two adorable daughters... nope.
I just checked out the thumbnails for that channel. How is that supposed to help the OP? A lot of the videos seems pretty judgmental from what they posted as the thumbnail tag. Please explain.
I got out of a long term relationship a few months ago and I’m finally ready to date again. However, after reading through multiple dating forums (Reddit) and here, I’m reaching the conclusion that as a 34 year old woman, my chances of getting into a successful long term relationship are…abysmal.
According to the internet posters nowadays I’m “Post wall” in terms of fertility and attractiveness. Even men my age would rather date a woman in their 20s. Women in their 30s are just seen for hook ups only.
I’ve been distraught these last few weeks at the idea that it’s over for me. It wasn’t like I was “riding the c**** carousel” throughout my 20s- just the long term relationships I was in were not successful (I also moved states twice for work which didn’t help). Reading through Reddit forums and this forum has made me seriously depressed and I no longer want to put an effort in anything in my life. Because face it, it’s over for me as a woman at my age.
Every time I try to stop reading this type of content, I end up getting pulled back in and feeding my brain more hate. I’ve also looked at the men I do end up having dates with suspiciously, like they’re not going to take me seriously as a long term prospect due to my age.
At a loss, and only 34.
Well, 34 is definitely not outside of relationship material. I was married in my late 20s and back out on the dating scene in my early 40's and I thought it was the best time. I felt like the women were much more real, and knew what they wanted and who they were. I don't know about men in their 30s, but I guarantee you a man in his 40s can find something in common with you. Not every man, of course, but I guess my comment is that you are definitely undervaluing yourself.
Get out there, just meet people. Whatever values you have about dating, just be open with them and stick to them. You may have to "kiss a few frogs", but the guys are out there. If you are not 100% against dating someone who was previously married, it might greatly increase your pool of suiters.
Yeah, I'm sure there's a lot of creeps out there, but there's also a lot of good adults. Just go out to meet people, without too many expectations. But stick to your values and you'll find the right guy, I think.
I got out of a long term relationship a few months ago and I’m finally ready to date again. However, after reading through multiple dating forums (Reddit) and here, I’m reaching the conclusion that as a 34 year old woman, my chances of getting into a successful long term relationship are…abysmal.
According to the internet posters nowadays I’m “Post wall” in terms of fertility and attractiveness. Even men my age would rather date a woman in their 20s. Women in their 30s are just seen for hook ups only.
I’ve been distraught these last few weeks at the idea that it’s over for me. It wasn’t like I was “riding the c**** carousel” throughout my 20s- just the long term relationships I was in were not successful (I also moved states twice for work which didn’t help). Reading through Reddit forums and this forum has made me seriously depressed and I no longer want to put an effort in anything in my life. Because face it, it’s over for me as a woman at my age.
Every time I try to stop reading this type of content, I end up getting pulled back in and feeding my brain more hate. I’ve also looked at the men I do end up having dates with suspiciously, like they’re not going to take me seriously as a long term prospect due to my age.
At a loss, and only 34.
Just from posts on THIS board alone, it seems women will put up w/ a lot of BS just to say they've, "got a man" & I personally hate it. I don't care if it's 1822 OR 2022, if a man isn't up to MY standards, who needs him! I was raised to know what a good man is & what a bad one is & I won't put up w/ a lot of certain behaviors/actions, etc. for a second & if that means I stay alone, oh well so be it! I'll be hell of a lot happier & won't have this dead weight around my neck who's more trouble than he's worth, so GOOD!
I think ANY woman these days no matter how young she is has to have the mentality that they wil be content in life whether they ever find a good partner or not because I don't see many truly good men out there. They're few & far between & who even knows if you'll ever meet them in your lifetime. For example, you're living in one place & a good guy who's the right age, etc. may be in another state or country, so how will you ever meet him anyway? It probably isn't likely.
Sure, having a partner, being in love & all that is fabulous...IF there's a good enough person out there w/ the right morals, values, ethics, etc. If they're any kind of lying, cheating, porn-obsessed, drinking, smoking, druggie, unmotivated, gambling, flirting, lazy, sarcastic, air-head, stupid, too-silly, never-takes-anything seriously, controlling, sourpuss-about-life, egotisical, pompous, smart-ass, bad attitude, snarky, mean, narcissistic bum loser, etc., I don't want any parts of it. If that's, "too strict or picky" a list, oh well! I know what I don't want.
But, please, whatever you do, don't get/act desperately that you'll date anyone & ignore the red flags just to say you've got someone. Believe me, I'll be a heck of a LOT happier alone if that's the only men out there in whole world. So many guys out there are pieces of ___, it's not even funny & the way how some woman out there will still like him, have sex w/ him, etc. just burns me up!
I wish ALL women had this, "take no BS" mentality because if we we all did, many of these men wouldn't have anyone NOR get any sex. I'm not going to give them what they want...the stupid ___.
Last edited by Forever Blue; 11-05-2022 at 06:13 AM..
\ It wasn’t like I was “riding the c**** carousel” throughout my 20s- just the long term relationships I was in were not successful (I also moved states twice for work which didn’t help).
I never heard c**** carouse before & hope I never hear it again. It's offensive.
You can't do anything about your age. Some men won't be attracted to you & some men will be attracted to you. There are many requirements for a future spouse besides age, like looks, values, interests, religion, political leaning, values, etc. Age is just one more part of the equation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Forever Blue
I think ANY woman these days no matter how young she is has to have the mentality that they wil be content in life whether they ever find a good partner or not because I don't see many truly good men out there.
Go and live your life. Do actives that make you happy. Live your life hiking, traveling, gardening, painting, singing, at the gym or wherever. Men are attracted to women who enjoy their lives. The last thing any man wants is a woman desperately looking for a spouse to cling to. So live your life as an independent single woman (off the internet, in real life) and if a man likes you, your age won't matter. In the meantime, you'll live an authentic & rich life.
You might be interested in Candice Bergen's memoir "Knock Wood." I realize she's not from your age group or era, but she writes about not finding the right man and wondering if she ever would. She finally did, at around age 40. Even for a rich, beautiful, well-connected woman it's often difficult.
Thanks everyone. I’m just accepting the fact that I’m post wall and have nothing to offer men anymore. Don’t see the point in bothering.
Do you want a family? What are your standards? There are SOOOOO many nice guys that would love for a chance to get to know you. Problem is that women generally don't like those kinds of men until they hit 45.
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