Advice for recently single 34F (girl, loyalty, cheat, too young)
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I became single at age 34 after a 9-year longterm relationship. I began my adventures in dating 5 months later. I remember creating my Plenty-of-Fish profile on Christmas Day. My advice:
1 - Consider the first 6 months practice. Don't go in thinking you will find another longterm relationship quickly nor should you. Take the time to explore and meet different men. Have fun.
2 - The best guys I've found on the online dating sites are the newbies. Aim for the new users rather than the ones who have had accounts forever because there are reasons they are still looking years later--either they're players or they're weirdos or they lack skills with women. I've tried dating a couple of the oldies and its never resulted in good things.
3 - Create a detailed profile. But keep in mind, men often don't read your profile. They'll just message every woman on the site in hopes for a response.
4 - Beware of players. They are everywhere. Married men. Men with girlfriends. Men who just want a quick lay.
5 - Most longterm relationships of people age 18-40 are a result of meeting online. People do succeed a.t this.
6 - Take breaks from time to time. If you aren't having fun, take a break. Or switch sites.
7 - There are a lot of good genuine guys on online dating sites who want a longterm relationship. Ultimately, it all comes down to luck.
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Note: I never found a longterm relationship with online dating. I'm 39 now but that shouldn't make you lose hope. Take stock of your value. I never found anyone because the truth is, I realized I need some things to change about myself in order to be capable of a good relationship. On a pros and cons list for dating me, I just have too many cons. And as a person who weighs more (I weigh 249lbs), online dating is much harder than for an average-sized person. I have come to accept that if I ever really want to have a longterm relationship, that I need to lose the weight. I won't go on online dating again until I am under 200 lbs.
Because I only have about 6 months before I turn 35 and I know it will be exponentially harder when crossing that barrier.
Jeez. In the highly educated white collar professional parts of the country, turning 35 and unmarried is normal. I did a quick skim of your post history and see Houston and from Upstate NY, maybe Albany-ish. I’ve been to Houston many times on business but never lived there. It never struck me as a major white collar professional area with lots of unmarried late-30s men. A quick Google says the Houston metro ranks 57th for college educated adults. Link: https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nyti...reas.html?_r=0
I think I’d move to a place where 18 year olds don’t get married and pop out kids.
[quote=PassionateNortherner;64515881]I became single at age 34 after a 9-year longterm relationship. I began my adventures in dating 5 months later. I remember creating my Plenty-of-Fish profile on Christmas Day. My advice:
2 - The best guys I've found on the online dating sites are the newbies. Aim for the new users rather than the ones who have had accounts forever because there are reasons they are still looking years later--either they're players or they're weirdos or they lack skills with women. I've tried dating a couple of the oldies and its never resulted in good things.
So that would mean the same for women that'd been on 3 or 4 at once for yrs on end then too , right ! Which incandescently seems to be most of them.
Something l've wondered a lot about this last few wks as l've just joined 2 date sites.
Saw a lot of women still on them l'd seen 10yrs ago when l'd just gone through divorced .
I think you should enjoy the freedom… I met my husband at 32, was turning 33. Married at 34. It is still young and you have so many options. If you want kids that is another issue. Luckily I did not need or desire to have kids.
Jeez. In the highly educated white collar professional parts of the country, turning 35 and unmarried is normal. I did a quick skim of your post history and see Houston and from Upstate NY, maybe Albany-ish. I’ve been to Houston many times on business but never lived there. It never struck me as a major white collar professional area with lots of unmarried late-30s men. A quick Google says the Houston metro ranks 57th for college educated adults. Link: https://archive.nytimes.com/www.nyti...reas.html?_r=0
I think I’d move to a place where 18 year olds don’t get married and pop out kids.
My Mom lived in Baltimore and got remarried at age 73 to a lovely 74 year old man after 9 years of widowhood. They had a wonderful, fun-filled marriage. So, don't give up hope!
My Mom lived in Baltimore and got remarried at age 73 to a lovely 74 year old man after 9 years of widowhood. They had a wonderful, fun-filled marriage. So, don't give up hope!
I just know at age 35 I will be filtered out on dating apps. And not taken seriously as a long term prospect if I’m not filtered out. This number repulses a lot of men, for some reason.
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