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Most people don't really listen to music. It's background sounds while they drive or hang at the pool or have drinks at the bar. As long as it has a pleasing sound it's good enough. Just as most people don't really care about painting or architecture or cars or many other things which are simply things in their life not the center of their life.
Aw that's sad. Art and aesthetics can add so much beauty to our lives if we pay attention to it.
Aw that's sad. Art and aesthetics can add so much beauty to our lives if we pay attention to it.
A lot of people are focusing their attention to providing food and shelter in their lives. But I think it's rather elitist to think art is the only thing that can fulfill someone. My passion is scuba diving, coral reefs, fishes. Also quite enjoy primitive camping. Call it the "art" of nature. If music disappeared from the planet I would be fine so long as I have a reef and a full tank of air. But I don't pity or look down on non-divers.
I feel a need to clarify a little bit...I don't want to come off like I am making ASSUMPTIONS about the character of a musician.
My whole statement of smart, successful full-grown adult women wanting a partner who also seems responsible and mature to us... That is more meant to say that women who are at that stage and of that character are very likely to be impressed by a different set of attributes, than are women who are in their 20s. I don't mean to say that a musician will be flaky and unreliable by default. It's more like, "why would you expect women in their 30s to want the same things in a partner than women in their 20s did?"
And a little bit, that does point (to my way of thinking) to a mindset that is confused about other people "growing up" and prioritizing security and stability. After all, that woman will have, by her 30s, spend years working towards that. She won't want to throw it all away just because a dude is exciting or cool or good looking. Ideally, a compatible couple has compatible goals and lifestyle and values. And anyone (man or woman) who mostly brings to the table, "Look at me, I'm a good time!" and not much more, is likely to be used by someone looking for a good time...and not much more. Men shouldn't take for granted that guys do that to party girls but girls won't, sooner or later, do that right back to party guys.
If one person figures that as long as they can get the relationship they want with the kind of person they find appealing, then they don't have to worry at all about long term effort or life logistics, "love will find a way" and it'll all work out...invisible magical fairies will feed the kids if I'm too busy playing around to be bothered... And the other one knows going in, because they've been doing it already, that there are no magical fairies to do the work, and the kids will live or die by her efforts if no one else lifts a finger... That stuff needs to be done, that it requires work, and that the work will not always be one's passion but it still needs to happen... Even if the second person somehow gets mixed up with the first one, they will eventually become very resentful and that relationship will go down in flames. Most sensible adults don't set themselves up for that, if they can see it coming. I'd think.
Now, OP, you said you've got an IT job yeah? A stable one? Are you more or less on top of your responsibilities in general? Do you know how to keep your own bathroom from kicking off the zombie apocalypse? Do your bills get paid on time? Do you fulfill your responsibilities to the child (children?) that you have already fathered?
Because in fact one of my favorite people is an IT guy who is also a musician and who plays the occasional professional thing, does a little recording now and then... Though in his case, I'd call it more of a hobby than a profession. I doubt if he's made as much money off of it, as he's sunk into instruments and equipment. But he is a responsible person. He's an excellent husband to his wife. However, it's worth pointing out that the two of them have neither kids nor even pets...so the everyday workload they have to be responsible for handling is not as big as what some households have to deal with.
So yeah, I don't want to assume that you're unreliable.
Just don't act shocked when the women you're trying to meet care more about you being reliable, than they do about you being really cool or talented or exciting. People (women are people, in case you forget) live and learn and grow, and by a certain point ought to know that excitement doesn't pay the bills or feed the kids.
FWIW and not that it matters, but I am an artist...a visual artist...I've made some pretty cool things. But I would never try to rely on it for a living. My "muse" is fickle and I can go years without producing art that I am satisfied enough with to even show to another living being. When I was 20, I thought I would become a tattoo artist. Eventually I learned that there are two kinds of tattoo artists...1. You're not very good and you can't make enough money to live on, and 2. You're good and you have no time to do anything else with your life because you are booked solid for the next year. Not a lot in between. Neither of those sounded acceptable to me, nor did the prospect of a 2 year long unpaid apprenticeship just to get a respectable start in the business. So I abandoned that idea. Eventually (which I would not have seen coming back then) I found a path to a more white-collar profession and lifestyle, which suits me fine because it gives me plenty of time and money to spend on all the other things I care about.
[quote=ChileSauceCritic;65292030]There are a lot of more "traditional" jobs like that, like being in sales for instance, or having your own business like a diner or bookstore the money comes in in peaks and valleys, the only difference is once you have done it long enough you can kinda predict when your slow periods or boom periods will be.
but thinking about it I kinda get it, there are certain professions I would be hesitant to date based on the character of most who excel in those professions like many corporate jobs.
lf your looking for marriage or a serious lasting relationship she, that person , might be fine with it as it just being a huge part of who you are and that's what we fall in love with, the person and what they're about. And you own a house and your established so you must be ok financially anyway.
And if she's your type then she'll probably get the music life too. We don't all grow up to live the norm , some of us will always be different and go for different and she probably will too as you do.
But it's not gonna be everyone's cup of tea that is for sure.ln whatever way we're different l'm very different but my woman's a one in a million too and we're very suited in our life things. You need someone similar to the way you are and who you are.
As far as them not throwing themselves at bands any more very understandable in all other ways too.Your probably 20 or 30yrs older now and hate to break it to ya but we all age and don't look how we use to either but we also change and mature too and want different things. What a girl in her 20s goes for or does is usually a far cry from 40s or 50s although, when they're midlifing the often turn 16again for a few yrs so ya might get a few of those.
ldk, it's all pretty obvious to me though from a far but hard to explain.
A lot of people are focusing their attention to providing food and shelter in their lives. But I think it's rather elitist to think art is the only thing that can fulfill someone. My passion is scuba diving, coral reefs, fishes. Also quite enjoy primitive camping. Call it the "art" of nature. If music disappeared from the planet I would be fine so long as I have a reef and a full tank of air. But I don't pity or look down on non-divers.
Yes those things are the art of nature, exactly. OMG coral reefs are amazing. I'm not a diver but it must be awesome. It isn't about one type over another. Art is accessible to everyone in some form, like murals or gardens in areas of low income housing, and it adds beauty to our lives. I would love to spend more time appreciating art and nature but I am busy a lot too. All you need to do is pay attention and it is there.
It's important to keep all forms of art alive, I'm glad there are people passionate enough about it to continue creating and preserving it.
Some musicians really, really seem to crave an audience, some way to show off, and positive feedback. As OP has demonstrated by posting his music and videos multiple times as if it was in any way relevant to this thread.
I would be worried that a musician like the OP would need a lot of praise and compliments on his music, and I'd be forced to listen to him grinding out new material and be obligated to react positively. I probably wouldn't like it right away and would have to prevaricate in some way.
I get embarrassed when others' egos are naked before me.
Yes those things are the art of nature, exactly. OMG coral reefs are amazing. I'm not a diver but it must be awesome. It isn't about one type over another. Art is accessible to everyone in some form, like murals or gardens in areas of low income housing, and it adds beauty to our lives. I would love to spend more time appreciating art and nature but I am busy a lot too. All you need to do is pay attention and it is there.
It's important to keep all forms of art alive, I'm glad there are people passionate enough about it to continue creating and preserving it.
Some musicians really, really seem to crave an audience and positive feedback. As OP has demonstrated by posting his music and videos multiple times as if it was in any way relevant to this thread.
I would be worried that a musician like the OP would need a lot of praise and compliments on his music, and I'd be forced to listen to him grinding out new material and be obligated to react positively. I probably wouldn't like it right away and would have to prevaricate in some way.
I get embarrassed when others' egos are naked before me.
I dated a guy once who was a musician but not playing anymore. His music was the really whiny/emo stuff that was a bit misogynistic, IIRC. Needless to say, I HATED IT. Our musical tastes were wildly different and he wasn’t really interested in hearing my complaints that the music’s lyrics actually made me uncomfortable.
I actually don’t mind most types of music. I’m not really into live music for a variety of reasons- it’s often way too loud and I don’t like ultra crowded locations. It’s not like I dislike music, but I also like quiet and would not like living with someone who likes to blast his music at high volume all day.
I could start seeing it "count against you" the older you get.
Sure it's all cool and fun to date a musician in your 20s. In your 40s not so much. It's a night time job, which doesn't mesh with a career the other person might have. I wouldn't want to be married to, and have kids with, someone who's up all night, and sleeps more of the day away than most.
It's also an industry that has a lot of drugs, groupies who will have sex just because your in a band.
Just not the general type of person to set up a home, kids and white picket fence.
There will still be plenty of women who don't feel there are any negatives.
I think this can depend on location too. In Los Angeles, New York or Nashville, "musician" can mean a broad range of things. For example, you might have someone who writes musical scores, or a guy who gets steady gigs playing backup guitar at awards shows, or a guy who plays in the orchestra. These types often attended conservatory and have more formal musical training. You probably have more people in these cities who earn a decent living by being musicians.
Anywhere else where the entertainment industry isn't a big segment of the economy, you can probably assume that a musician is not very well-paid.
Last edited by BajanYankee; 05-18-2023 at 10:50 AM..
Obviously, the New York Philharmonic is elite and represents a small minority of musicians, but the pay isn't too bad.
Quote:
A four-year contract agreed to in December 2020 during a season canceled due to the coronavirus had called for players to earn 75% of minimum scale through Aug. 31, 2023, which comes to $2,214 weekly. The figure was to rise to 80% of scale through the first six months of the following fiscal year and 90% for the following six months.
The orchestra said Monday that salaries will be restored to a $2,952 weekly minimum starting Sept. 21.
The administration asserts that under the modified collective bargaining agreement during COVID, “the average annual contractual musician compensation in the 2021–2022 season was more than $164,000 per musician and noncontractual compensation brought the total average compensation to more than $176,000 per musician.
With base salaries at $159,016 at the beginning of their strike, their pay was higher than many of the other workers who have gone out on strike in recent years. “It’s hard to have sympathy for someone who makes that salary,” said Peter Wahrhaftig, who plays tuba in the San Francisco Ballet Orchestra, and has played in the CSO. “It’s not like teachers, who are just scraping by. It’s a public relations challenge.”
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