Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It's just a really different lifestyle and mindset. The musicians I know, those who make a living at it are just, different than most of us. They seem like a brotherhood/sisterhood and outsiders don't often fit in well. Like bikers, lol.
And there's another reason - musicians often fell smug and superior, like their skills are special.
Not just music but any skill that you can't just teach anyone to do is special. 80% of jobs out there you can train most people to do, no matter how hard I try or how much I practice I'm not going to be able to rule a skateboard like tony Hawk or anywhere close, because that is a special skill many people can do it but not everyone can do it. but you can teach almost anyone to sell insurance. I work in tech support, any of you reading this can do my regular job if you can read at a 10th grade level but statistically only 1 in 20 of you can learn to play an instrument well only 1 in 60 of you can sing beyond minimally carrying a tune(not my strongest skill lol) 1 in 100 of you can draw or paint realistically, but I bet 90% of you if given enough training could be an accountant I bet 80% of you could be a lawyer had you went to law school you might not be a shining star in the courtroom(special skill again) but you would at least be working, drawing up contracts or doing research for upcoming cases and other tedium I bet 70 - 80% of you could have been doctors if you had that goal and opportunity maybe not surgeons(special skill again) but a family practitioner sure.
I agree. If someone wants to call himself a musician though that's fine, gives a little insight as to how they see themselves.
But I've never referred to people by the job they do, like he's a bricklayer. No, he's a person whose current job is laying brick. People rarely stay in the same job all their working life like they used to anyway. Next year he might start selling life insurance. Or become an investment banker.
Well... In my 20s I wasn't totally sure where my life path would lead, but in my 30s and DEFINITELY now that I'm in my 40s, what I once called a "job" has become my "career." It got more specialized as time went by, I got promotions, new fancy words to put on a resume, and I have a "field" that I've worked for 22 years in. If heaven forbid I lost my employment, and opportunities in my specific thing were limited at the time, I'd go back to college and dash through a degree in a very closely related thing to just expand my marketability into adjacent but still similar kinds of work.
There are a few possible descriptions for what I am and do professionally... I like "Senior Analyst" best. But it's working with data as it pertains to a few specific business segments. Tax and tariff analytics. I also sometimes call myself, "Accounting nerd" or if I feel like being silly-humble, "Spreadsheet-staring-cubicle-monkey." Is it a passion? Nah, but I don't hate it and it pays me well.
When I got out of my first marriage, to a man who hopped from one thing to another all his life (and who can't hold a job of any kind for more than a couple of months now, even in his 50s)... I did not need someone to be high earning but I absolutely needed them to be stable.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChileSauceCritic
My distributor had me fill out a tax form like any other job, they are the ones that post my music on all the streaming services
I can think of a few examples of artistic types who actually made more money than their partner and still had their income thrown in their face, the friend I mentioned from LA dated/lived with an actor for 4 years every years they were together his income was double hers and one year over triple but her issue was it was sporadic, he would go weeks or months with no work then BAM he would end up getting commercials and bit parts as an extra back to back not change your life money but more than most average working class people get all at once, so she said she was frustrated because technically he was bringing more money into the houshold than she was but they could never plan out for anything because they never knew if next month was going to be a slow or busy month for him.
And another friend who dated a country singer who toured but only regionally as everyone in his band had families and he was with her so they were never gone more than a day or 2, and again he brought home more than she did annually but month to month not so much. but with him it was atleast more predictable than the actor as certain times of the year were consistently busy with fairs, festivals and live events while in the winter months it was back to divebars and honkytonks.
And you don't see why that chaos and instability might be a problem for someone who likes to, I dunno, have a plan about how to live and budget?
My ex made, over the course of our marriage, a little bit more in total than I did. At any given point when he was employed, he usually made more. But there were more periods of unemployment, far more times he came home and said, "Well, I quit/got fired, but I'm not upset about it, my boss was XYZ and it's not worth it to put up with this-and-that, don't worry...I'll figure out something else soon. It'll all work out."
And there I was left to juggle and figure out how to make ends meet, 'cause he sure as hell wasn't participating in the work of household financial administration. I was supposed to just make everything happen with whatever resources happened to show up.
Meanwhile I was working full time far more consistently (and never complaining about how stressed or tired I was from work like he did all the time) and when I got home, I had to cook, clean and take care of the kids while he "decompressed." If I was sick, he was sicker. If I had a problem, he had a bigger one. I learned that asking him to be a PARTNER would create so much drama it was best if I just accepted that I was the only adult in the family.
Now...maybe some women are perfectly fine living in chaos like that.
I sure as hell am not.
So yeah, my second husband...he didn't make as much as me. In fact I now earn twice what he ever has. But it was STABLE. He had no problem paying the amount he agreed to every month.
Mind, it's not that I am opposed to supporting my partner's passions, but only if I don't feel like our workload is so unbalanced that I am being taken advantage of and there's no room for me to have any passions of my own. And the real work has got to get done FIRST. And that's going to be a pretty common mindset for women who are 30+, unless they are your more messy cases...the aging groupies, those who have a lot of issues and drama. If you want a smart, successful woman in your age group, you're going to have to be as mature and responsible as she is. Just being cool and fun won't cut it.
So yeah, my second husband...he didn't make as much as me. In fact I now earn twice what he ever has. But it was STABLE. He had no problem paying the amount he agreed to every month.
Was saying that I accepted him as he was at the time, in fact there was an inheritance that he wasn't sure about and I didn't know about for the first several years we were together. So our whole situation has changed quite a bit recently.
But I agreed to marry him as the man I knew him to be then....a very good man, and stable, if not wealthy or high earning. I didn't need him to be super ambitious, just mature and responsible.
Well... In my 20s I wasn't totally sure where my life path would lead, but in my 30s and DEFINITELY now that I'm in my 40s, what I once called a "job" has become my "career." It got more specialized as time went by, I got promotions, new fancy words to put on a resume, and I have a "field" that I've worked for 22 years in. If heaven forbid I lost my employment, and opportunities in my specific thing were limited at the time, I'd go back to college and dash through a degree in a very closely related thing to just expand my marketability into adjacent but still similar kinds of work.
There are a few possible descriptions for what I am and do professionally... I like "Senior Analyst" best. But it's working with data as it pertains to a few specific business segments. Tax and tariff analytics. I also sometimes call myself, "Accounting nerd" or if I feel like being silly-humble, "Spreadsheet-staring-cubicle-monkey." Is it a passion? Nah, but I don't hate it and it pays me well.
When I got out of my first marriage, to a man who hopped from one thing to another all his life (and who can't hold a job of any kind for more than a couple of months now, even in his 50s)... I did not need someone to be high earning but I absolutely needed them to be stable.
And you don't see why that chaos and instability might be a problem for someone who likes to, I dunno, have a plan about how to live and budget?
My ex made, over the course of our marriage, a little bit more in total than I did. At any given point when he was employed, he usually made more. But there were more periods of unemployment, far more times he came home and said, "Well, I quit/got fired, but I'm not upset about it, my boss was XYZ and it's not worth it to put up with this-and-that, don't worry...I'll figure out something else soon. It'll all work out."
And there I was left to juggle and figure out how to make ends meet, 'cause he sure as hell wasn't participating in the work of household financial administration. I was supposed to just make everything happen with whatever resources happened to show up.
Meanwhile I was working full time far more consistently (and never complaining about how stressed or tired I was from work like he did all the time) and when I got home, I had to cook, clean and take care of the kids while he "decompressed." If I was sick, he was sicker. If I had a problem, he had a bigger one. I learned that asking him to be a PARTNER would create so much drama it was best if I just accepted that I was the only adult in the family.
Now...maybe some women are perfectly fine living in chaos like that.
I sure as hell am not.
So yeah, my second husband...he didn't make as much as me. In fact I now earn twice what he ever has. But it was STABLE. He had no problem paying the amount he agreed to every month.
Mind, it's not that I am opposed to supporting my partner's passions, but only if I don't feel like our workload is so unbalanced that I am being taken advantage of and there's no room for me to have any passions of my own. And the real work has got to get done FIRST. And that's going to be a pretty common mindset for women who are 30+, unless they are your more messy cases...the aging groupies, those who have a lot of issues and drama. If you want a smart, successful woman in your age group, you're going to have to be as mature and responsible as she is. Just being cool and fun won't cut it.
There are a lot of more "traditional" jobs like that, like being in sales for instance, or having your own business like a diner or bookstore the money comes in in peaks and valleys, the only difference is once you have done it long enough you can kinda predict when your slow periods or boom periods will be.
but thinking about it I kinda get it, there are certain professions I would be hesitant to date based on the character of most who excel in those professions like many corporate jobs.
like I met a woman once who's family business(her father owned it and she and her brothers worked in the business) made most of their money repoing cars for local carlots, that was a turn off to me, now if they just did roadside assistance I would have thought differently. but the difference is I did not judge her for driving a towtruck, but for her callousness about praying on people who hit hard times. and she was beautiful and was really into me and otherwise a cool person.
I guess I have a hard time understanding because I don't have many dealbreaker professions except for strippers, escorts and pornstars(that includes OnlyFans or adult webcam girls) lol
Yes like mentioned above there are professions I'd be less likely to date until I heard more, like a truck driver, if she is over the road it's a no, if she drives locally and is home every night then sure.
But the musician stigma extends even to those who aren't on the road, but plays gigs locally around town. I mean hell even I understand someone not wanting to date someone who is gone touring months at a time lol.
And I don't get why many people refer to non artistic careers as "traditional" jobs as art and music have been around since some cavemen figured out how to tap out a rhythm on a tree stump with a couple of bones and ZugZug started smearing berry juice on cave walls to illustrate where the best hunting spots were to future generations, in fact the only profession older than being an artist is illegal in 49 states.
It's just a really different lifestyle and mindset. The musicians I know, those who make a living at it are just, different than most of us. They seem like a brotherhood/sisterhood and outsiders don't often fit in well. Like bikers, lol.
Exactly. And this thread proves it.
I think for the OP, the issue is that his musical style is super niche. Most people in the abyss are content with their mainstream garbage, and that level of basic mediocrity just doesn't mesh well with any true artist or creative genius.
There are a lot of more "traditional" jobs like that, like being in sales for instance, or having your own business like a diner or bookstore the money comes in in peaks and valleys, the only difference is once you have done it long enough you can kinda predict when your slow periods or boom periods will be.
but thinking about it I kinda get it, there are certain professions I would be hesitant to date based on the character of most who excel in those professions like many corporate jobs.
like I met a woman once who's family business(her father owned it and she and her brothers worked in the business) made most of their money repoing cars for local carlots, that was a turn off to me, now if they just did roadside assistance I would have thought differently. but the difference is I did not judge her for driving a towtruck, but for her callousness about praying on people who hit hard times. and she was beautiful and was really into me and otherwise a cool person.
I guess I have a hard time understanding because I don't have many dealbreaker professions except for strippers, escorts and pornstars(that includes OnlyFans or adult webcam girls) lol
Yes like mentioned above there are professions I'd be less likely to date until I heard more, like a truck driver, if she is over the road it's a no, if she drives locally and is home every night then sure.
But the musician stigma extends even to those who aren't on the road, but plays gigs locally around town. I mean hell even I understand someone not wanting to date someone who is gone touring months at a time lol.
And I don't get why many people refer to non artistic careers as "traditional" jobs as art and music have been around since some cavemen figured out how to tap out a rhythm on a tree stump with a couple of bones and ZugZug started smearing berry juice on cave walls to illustrate where the best hunting spots were to future generations, in fact the only profession older than being an artist is illegal in 49 states.
A “traditional” job is one where you go in to work, have a fairly regular schedule, and in exchange the job gives you benefits to include health insurance, paid time off, and possibly a variety of other perks. Most musicians don’t have that type of job. I don’t say “all,” because there are positions like school band/orchestra directors, house bands/orchestras/singers that play nightly/daily at one location (like in a theme park, at a long-running show in NYC or other large cities), etc. Even if you are in a symphony or performing group, there is a performance season and members typically still have to pick up gigs like private lessons on the side. Even among those jobs, you’re likely to have evening hours.
I think for the OP, the issue is that his musical style is super niche. Most people in the abyss are content with their mainstream garbage, and that level of basic mediocrity just doesn't mesh well with any true artist or creative genius.
Well yes and no I like to blend different genre's because my taste in music is all over the place, there are many who do the same and some even have record deal with major labels, but there are pros and cons to it, niche artists never gain a HUGE fanbase but they usually gain a very loyal fanbase, most mainstream artists get a few hits and disappear the Beyonce's and Madonna's(who stay relevant for decades) are the exception, it's why underground artists actually make more money over the course of their careers than mainstream artists because their careers last longer.
Oh and I'm no genius sadly, I play 4 instruments at a mediocre level but I think I am creative in that I have an ear for blending genre's.
and speaking of "the abyss"
I think for the OP, the issue is that his musical style is super niche. Most people in the abyss are content with their mainstream garbage, and that level of basic mediocrity just doesn't mesh well with any true artist or creative genius.
Most people don't really listen to music. It's background sounds while they drive or hang at the pool or have drinks at the bar. As long as it has a pleasing sound it's good enough. Just as most people don't really care about painting or architecture or cars or many other things which are simply things in their life not the center of their life.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
