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Reading with a blank slate I actually agree with the control part. It has been discussed. I do not provide an affront to your not so subtle point. As for Robyn, ask her yourself as I cannot think for her even though I already know what is being thought. How can I not appear to control the outcome when the outcome is written so clearly.
Now as far as the "real world" goes, isn't it better to deal with the world while smiling.
Furthermore, how can I control Robyn when I cannot even put a leash on my own incoherent form of rational thought. Self control needs to be attained before others can be controlled and the control of others is only a fantasy not a reality, YET.
Rocket - Since you addressed me directly, I will respond. No, sir, you cannot think for Robyn. You can, however, "color" her thoughts by your actions and your words....by doing so, you DO, in fact, control the outcome - the outcome that is written so clearly by YOU, not necessarily by events or "destiny" or "the fates."
Of course it's better to deal with the real world while smiling, but all the smiles in the world will NOT take away life's adversity and if you think the smiles will, then you are living in a fantasy world.
If you cannot put a leash on your own "incoherent form of rational thought" that does not mean you cannot exert control over others. It's much easier to exert control over others than it is to work on your problems of not being able to "put a leash" on yourself! In fact, many "controllers" and "manipulators" I've known on my path thru this earthly existence had problems with themselves, but were able to control and manipulate others very easily....and that is why you send up all kinds of "red flags" and "warnings" in my head.
Before you can be in a truly unselfish relationship with another person, you need to work on yourself - If you cannot control yourself and your fantasies, you need to learn how to do that before you wreak havoc on the lives of others. In order for a relationship to be a healthy relationship, each person needs to be a healthy, independent INDIVIDUAL who knows they can survive on their own first - then, when a relationship does develop, it is not one of "survival" or "need" - it is a blending of two healthy individuals who then come together and compliment each other.
Of course, that is just my opinion and is coming from my life experiences. No matter how much you deny it (which is also typical of someone who tries to control others), things have moved very fast - too fast for people who, between them, have 4 children who need to be considered.
I realize neither you nor Robyn, at this point, will agree with what I have said. I just hope you both consider the consequences and realize that smiling through life will not make the "bad things" disappear into the night - they will still have a tendency to come back and bite you, even if you are wearing your rose-colored glasses.
I also believe that both you and Robyn need counseling. I don't know your background, but from what Robyn has said about hers, this current situation she is in needs to be talked through with a counselor before it goes any further, before it does some serious harm to her and to her children.....
I wouldn't argue any of your points and I'm all for fun, but this sounds like the kind of fun you may not get out of in one piece...
C'mon, everyone... give CR a break here, ok? She has come here for support and friendship, so let's not pile on while saying we're concerned. She's made some mistakes... she's been told they're mistakes.... but the "C" in "CR" doesn't stand for Clarice! This is a guy who used really poor judgement in invading her privacy, but thusfar I haven't seen any signs of his being a stalker or a psycho or anything like that. She's there, she's met the guy, and she says she's OK. [Let's just hope that's her talking and not "D" who has her trapped down in a pit somewhere, lowering bottles of skin lotion down to her while accessing her computer!]
Anyhow... let's not treat CR like shuke got treated, ok? Everyone's said their piece about this, now it's up to Robyn to do with it what she will.
Robyn... hopefully the sharks will back off a bit so you can resume posting!
Robyn, you brought your story to this forum. You shared your story and you accepted our support and concern with open arms. There were times I saw you getting frustrated with advice and input but I also perceived a great understanding of the sincerity of your cyberfriend's concerns and motivations.
You have morphed in a matter of weeks from an independent, christian woman to someone who is not upset that details of her sexual life have been shared on this forum. And might I add, this is a sex life that is being carried on with your two children and his two children within shouting distance. This may have been the Robyn you really were all along- but you presented a very different Robyn to all of us for a very long time.
You have to understand that you have really confounded people with your words and actions of late. If you have been genuine in your concerns for your children, you have to rethink your actions. You need to get a grip on control of your life. You have to let D be a part of your life, but not your mouthpiece.
We are all people who don't know you in person and from where we sit this looks very negative for you, your divorce and the custody of your children. I can't imagine how this must look to people who are in your day to day physical life and the concern they must be feeling for you and your kids.
Please take the advice of your many friends here and consider getting some counseling.
This may come across as critical- and it is meant to. I feel like I'm watching a train wreck in slow motion. I don't want to see you lose everything important to you over something that at this point is a fling.
You do deserve fun. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be treated like a queen. You deserve vacations. You deserve to laugh. You deserve it all!
But you also need to learn how to not lose yourself in the process of weaving your life into that of another person. You have proven that you don't yet know how to hang onto ROBYN in that process. She seems to be lost right now and this loss could be a catalyst that causes ROBYN to lose everything that is important to her. When she returns, it's going to be devastating.
I agree with everything pirate girl said 100%. You're entitled to live your life as you see fit, but as someone who has watched you take charge of yourself and grow to a strong self-sufficient woman in the last year, I can tell you, without any hesitation, that D is bad news and you are headed for disaster. That's your right, but I just hope your kids aren't hurt in the process.
Robyn, you are headed straight back into the sort of relationship you just struggled to get out of. I'm sorry, but none of this is normal.
To the posters trying to help: I don't know whether we should be talking to this guy (if it is the boyfriend). We could be making things worse. The entire thing is way too strange and he's getting off on it. And I don't see robyn objecting to any of it, and she's an adult.
Anyhow... let's not treat CR like shuke got treated, ok? Everyone's said their piece about this, now it's up to Robyn to do with it what she will.
Robyn... hopefully the sharks will back off a bit so you can resume posting!
Shuke, in the 80's where I lived there was a type of therapy that was popular for while called "the game" or "the process" or something and people would go for a weekend and everyone would yell at each other and go through some some sort of process and when it was all over it was supposed to leave you with some perspective on your life. I asked a friend of mine, who happened to be a twin, what it was all about and he said, "You spend a weekend at The Game when you don't have twin brother to tell you when you're f*****g up."
Robyn doesn't have anyone to offer her an objective opinion right now. Her parents are dead, her kids are not old enough and her siblings live out of town. People on here do care about Robyn and are in a position to tell her she's f*****g up.
I have no doubt that she's never going to want to hear from me again, but I would be doing her a disservice if I didn't tell her exactly what I think.
Robyn doesn't have anyone to offer her an objective opinion right now. Her parents are dead, her kids are not old enough and her siblings live out of town. People on here do care about Robyn and are in a position to tell her she's f*****g up.
And often, controlling people seek out individuals that don't have a lot of support and families in their lives. It makes it easier for them to take control.
And often, controlling people seek out individuals that don't have a lot of support and families in their lives. It makes it easier for them to take control.
This is very, very true. A controlling person is never going to take on a person who can already take care of herself (or himself...women obviously can be quite controlling too).
Ok so my post was deleted because it was INSULTING? How about taking these posters care and concern for granted? What about taking financial help and then getting back into the same crap bucket you started in? Thats insulting to those who have been there for you through all the DRAMA. Oh so we are supposed to be all smiles and giggles? If people post their lives and put there drama on BLAST for all eyes to view then they are bound to see posts that are not complimentary at times. You guys can have this drama.
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? If people post their lives and put there drama on BLAST for all eyes to view then they are bound to see posts that are not complimentary at times. You guys can have this drama.
