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"Feeling" safe and actually being safe are two different things.
I can generally take care of myself but I am always appreciative if I get in a scenario where I find out a guy was looking out for me. And on a few occasions in life I've approached guys for some cover (like when a guy was following me) and they helped me out. I don't expect it, but a 'feeling' of protection is something I do value. How strangely male/female
On other occasions, like when I'm in a car, I go straight to a police station. Love me some cops.
"Feeling" safe and actually being safe are two different things.
I can generally take care of myself but I am always appreciative if I get in a scenario where I find out a guy was looking out for me. And on a few occasions in life I've approached guys for some cover (like when a guy was following me) and they helped me out. I don't expect it, but a 'feeling' of protection is something I do value. How strangely male/female
On other occasions, like when I'm in a car, I go straight to a police station. Love me some cops.
How refreshing to read and absolutely true. I must have said the same thing about what safe is 3-4x already. Thanks
"Feeling" safe and actually being safe are two different things.
I can generally take care of myself but I am always appreciative if I get in a scenario where I find out a guy was looking out for me. And on a few occasions in life I've approached guys for some cover (like when a guy was following me) and they helped me out. I don't expect it, but a 'feeling' of protection is something I do value. How strangely male/female
On other occasions, like when I'm in a car, I go straight to a police station. Love me some cops.
That doesn't always work out for some of us. Reporting can make it worse, hence why many women do not report or ask for help.
Men, especially younger ones, are also trending on not helping women in trouble because of the disconnect young people are finding themselves in with lack of dating and relationships. It reminds me of neighbors not talking or looking out for each other, whereas neighborly connection was common in the past for the good of the community, and there's a kind of isolation that leads to low trust and apathy for the other.
It's a mixed bag out there, I used to expect if I needed assistance that someone physically capable would get involved to help, now I do not expect that. I have asked for help in situations where I was unable to lift something for example and been ignored or refused, even mocked. I certainly will help most anyone who needs it, so it is disappointing to be treated that way. This is not universal, many people will still help, but enough won't such that we cannot count on it.
I grew up in a pretty close and safe community, try to remain in these types of places but it seems to be unraveling. I envy people who feel safe where they are, and actually ARE safe for the most part.
The whole... "I don't need a man" thought process permeates society especially with young men. Then the insuing response is " fine, then I'll be on my way" and the 'dance' begins.
The whole... "I don't need a man" thought process permeates society especially with young men. Then the insuing response is " fine, then I'll be on my way" and the 'dance' begins.
Feeling safe and being safe is a choice.
That means they don't need a man to live, they can support themselves and thrive, not that men should not have important roles in society, as should women. The roles may blur and shift but maybe we can support each other. It isn't men doing most of the caregiving for example.
I hope women's independence doesn't make men feel less safe such that they feel something is being taken from them.
The whole... "I don't need a man" thought process permeates society especially with young men. Then the insuing response is " fine, then I'll be on my way" and the 'dance' begins.
Feeling safe and being safe is a choice.
I think that how one means such a statement, AND how one takes such a statement is going to vary depending on what bias or agenda or perspective one has there.
I don't need a man.
But I am eternally grateful that I found one to love.
When I set out to be in this relationship, it wasn't because I was helpless, incompetent, required someone to assist me where I find my abilities lacking. It was not something I wish I didn't have to do, but alas I have no choice if I am to survive. A good man should not want a mate who would rather not be there but she doesn't have a choice. My first husband thought that was a decent foundation to build on. It's not.
My second marriage is far stronger because it is out of want, not need. And I don't mean frivolous, capricious whimsy, subject to change on a dime, but a deep and abiding happiness. The kind I want as the baseline of my life and home.
It's like there are guys out there thinking, unless they can be NEEDED, they don't want to play. That's like saying...I shouldn't have to get a woman to like me, I ought to have the power to make her life miserable in fact, so long as I kill spiders and mow the lawn and bring in a check she can shut her pie hole about it. Like heaven forbid you actually have to participate in companionship or love with another human. Sheesh. Sounds like a miserable life, and at least in my experience, one based on hardship and duress absolutely was.
Some of the nastiest characters I ever met were always on the lookout for women in vulnerable situations, who "needed a man" to the point where she won't be able to easily say no even if he is horrible to her. The darker side of the "Captain Save a Ho" thing, y'know?
Not to mention the idea of, "some women say they don't need men, and since I haven't succeeded in dating I'm just never going out of my way for anyone ever again, I'm sick of being nice and not getting rewarded with what I want, hell maybe next time I see a hot chick with a flat tire I'll stop just long enough to tell her I'd help, but hot chicks like her rejected me, so she's on her own!" OK well, there's nothing actually nice about that. If the "nice" was always just a trick you were doing in hopes of a reward, it isn't genuinely nice at all.
as women, our first line of safety rests with us using common sense! we must be aware, responsible, and not naive about the reality of human nature.
as to men's responsibility to keep women safe, i used to think men should always be willing to be women's protectors. after the daniel penny arrest in manhattan, i no longer expect men to protect women other than their family or friends. i wouldn't want the men in my family to risk prison, like penny is, for strangers whether it be men or women in danger.
as women, our first line of safety rests with us using common sense! we must be aware, responsible, and not naive about the reality of human nature.
as to men's responsibility to keep women safe, i used to think men should always be willing to be women's protectors. after the daniel penny arrest in manhattan, i no longer expect men to protect women other than their family or friends. i wouldn't want the men in my family to risk prison, like penny is, for strangers whether it be men or women in danger.
"during the May incident, passengers cleared out of the train car when Neely began yelling, Vazquez said. That’s when, according to video of the incident, Penny approached, pinning Neely to the ground and placing him in a chokehold"
You are being a tad dramatic when it comes to "protecting strangers" and "risking prison".
The Penny incident, NOBODY was at risk - the train was cleared.
Penny wanted to be a hero and approached the unstable person and put him in a chokehold.
He didn't have to do anything - NOBODY was at risk.
I am a man 5'4 " so I wont be protecting any woman even if I have a black belt it is for defense of myself .
so,,, I have no responsibility...
You are the same height as Chuck Norris....(Yeah, he used to be 5'6" but not anymore.)
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