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I've been in many relationships throughout my life. Some with 'modern' women, and some with more 'traditional' women. In all cases, sex life was pretty much the same. I cannot ever remember hurting for sex. In fact, I always say that in all my relationships my partner ends up wanting it more than me (in the beginning it's the opposite). And usually if I'm in the mood and she's not, she reciprocates after some encouragement and vice versa.
So I guess I don't get this focus on sex. For me bigger things to be concerned about are life goals and if you can stand the little day in and day out habits of your partner. When kids enter the picture, you're usually too exhausted to even think about sex. Sleep is better.
I've been in many relationships throughout my life. Some with 'modern' women, and some with more 'traditional' women. In all cases, sex life was pretty much the same. I cannot ever remember hurting for sex. In fact, I always say that in all my relationships my partner ends up wanting it more than me (in the beginning it's the opposite). And usually if I'm in the mood and she's not, she reciprocates after some encouragement and vice versa.
So I guess I don't get this focus on sex. For me bigger things to be concerned about are life goals and if you can stand the little day in and day out habits of your partner. When kids enter the picture, you're usually too exhausted to even think about sex. Sleep is better.
But I digress lol.
A very much overlooked part of relationships IMOHO, - it runs totally against sterotypes, but I think its very common for a guy to loose interest after a while, or simply be to exahausted to have sex.
In most cultures even today, a woman's most important job is being the mother and caretaker of her children.
This is so widespread I would say it is ingrained in society.
That is your opinion and the opinion of societies at large because, well someone has to do it and since women's physical biology is adapted to pregnancy and breast feeding it was up to them. For most of history society made sure women were stuck in that position. Mother/housewife was never really revered as anyone (woman) can do it. These duties have been tasked to slaves, nannies, wet nurses, family members, public schools, etc. (for those with means). In the past laws prevented women/mothers from earning a livable wage, obtaining credit, etc. in effect keeping them financially dependent.
Laws also gave fathers Defacto custody (English common law), allowed husbands to commit their wife for trivial behaviors which were actually just behaving in ways that male society did not agree with. This included depression, cursing, over exertion, over excitement, not have her period, having period symptoms, not wanting sex, wanting too much sex, or even just disagreeing with her husband. If women were so important and being a mother was so important why were women dismissed and treated so badly?
Now I am not saying motherhood, fatherhood, parenthood and taking care of children is not an important job. But the "importance" historically was related to men's dominance in society and keeping women and their other abilities, talents, ideas and opinions silenced.
Then along came the right to vote, the BC pill, civil (gender) rights which created laws enforcing equal opportunities in education, jobs and pay as well as legal representation and the male dominated society lost its grip.
To your post I would say in today's society a parents most important job is raising their children through involved hands on parenting to become well adjusted, self-sufficient adults. How they choose to do this is their personal, hopefully mutual, decision.
I've been in many relationships throughout my life. Some with 'modern' women, and some with more 'traditional' women. In all cases, sex life was pretty much the same. I cannot ever remember hurting for sex. In fact, I always say that in all my relationships my partner ends up wanting it more than me (in the beginning it's the opposite). And usually if I'm in the mood and she's not, she reciprocates after some encouragement and vice versa.
So I guess I don't get this focus on sex. For me bigger things to be concerned about are life goals and if you can stand the little day in and day out habits of your partner. When kids enter the picture, you're usually too exhausted to even think about sex. Sleep is better.
But I digress lol.
It just goes back to the OP, 1) "Traditional" Woman: has sex whenever the husband wants.
as opposed to 2) "Modern" Woman: likes sex but she needs her needs met in bed.
This seems strange and unrealistic to me.
I would think in a healthy marriage each partner likes sex and want their needs met but not to the point of expecting the other to "put out" on command. There are times when one is not in the mood and there are times when you accommodate anyway but both should actually like it.
As old as time. When women have no independent earning power some form of prostitution is often all she has.
What modern woman of child-bearing age today would put herself in this position sans a career and the ability to support herself (and some men can’t support themselves either). Who would choose to be with them, for that matter?
What modern woman of child-bearing age today would put herself in this position sans a career and the ability to support herself (and some men can’t support themselves either). Who would choose to be with them, for that matter?
They are still out there. I believe the number of women staying home has increased over the past few years due to the childcare issues and then Covid forced a lot of women out of the workforce.
I worked with one mother who is in that situation by choice. She quit a professional career to be a SAHM. Of course money and childcare and stress on the marriage factored into her choice. They are also very religious. A few other mothers had to take a year or more off, go part time, due to childcare issues. They are back full time now. One would prefer to stay home but her husband likes that money.
I know one guy who is looking for a mate and he wants a SAH. He wants to be the sole breadwinner. We will see if he can find what he is looking for. I also know a friend of my nieces who wants nothing more than to be a SAHM and homeschool, but finances dictate she work. Many of the male posters stated they want a "traditional" wife. In my day that meant a SAHM, not a working mom.
But, not many young women today are satisfied with that arrangement, men either.
I know one guy who is looking for a mate and he wants a SAH. He wants to be the sole breadwinner.
I don’t think this is very realistic or practical. In other words, be careful what you ask for; in this day and age, you’re likely to find a lazy, dependent or otherwise dysfunctional woman (or man) who has their own agenda or reasons for staying home, as evidenced in this thread, i.e. they lack a career, hate their job or whatnot. It should be about the benefit of the baby/couple, as a whole (and temporary); at least, that’s my take - relative to today. I recognize it wasn’t always this way (so as not to offend SAHMs from decades ago).
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