Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm more or less joking around, but I don't agree on probably the definition of committed and I may not agree on the exact order of things. What I'm saying is for me, I am not a player. If I meet a girl I really like, I want to date her, and I don't want to date anyone else, or sleep with anyone else. And I'd like it if she would just date me, too. I have no problem with an exclusive relationship. I don't consider it "casual," but girls may consider it casual. I don't want to get married, ever, and I definitely don't want to have kids. So if a girl springs me with the WITG speech ("Where Is This Going"), I get confused. A relationship isn't a destination to me, it's not like it's a train and it goes from Los Angeles to Seattle or something. If we are both enjoying each other's company, we do fun things together, and we get along great, this is THE HIGHEST point any relationship can achieve. It doesn't "go" anywhere from there. It's there. It's at the zenith of its existence. It's like if my opinion of train is from Los Angeles to San Francisco, and her opinion is that it should go to Seattle, well I'm getting off in San Francisco. If she doesn't want to get off with me (excuse the pun) then she can take the train back to Los Angeles and find someone else who wants to travel to Seattle with her
You are certainly free to live your life that way, and hey, if it works for you, good for you. MOST of us want something more, and there IS more by the way - so very much more. So, I would hope that you at least make it pretty clear before the girl "boards the train" that you are not interested in any long distance, round the world travels. She should know this before she agrees to a second date so you don't waste her time.
Tickets are non-refundable but are clearly stamped with the destination and departure time. If you read the small print, you get all of the details you want. We here at LB Travel Services pride ourselves on customer interaction and honesty. While we don't have a lot of travelers, those who board are certainly in for an interesting ride and a lot of extraordinary scenery. We do not believe at LB Travel Services that there is anything worth seeing north of San Francisco, so we have to respectfully disagree. We stop in SF because it's the furthest north anyone reasonable should want to go.
Tickets are non-refundable but are clearly stamped with the destination and departure time. If you read the small print, you get all of the details you want. We here at LB Travel Services pride ourselves on customer interaction and honesty. While we don't have a lot of travelers, those who board are certainly in for an interesting ride and a lot of extraordinary scenery
LOL!
As long as riders know the true desintation and can decide for themselves if that is good enough for them, more power to you Being honest upfront should save you a lot of drama later when the trip comes to an end.
haha, joking aside I really do tell girls upfront. It's bad for me, unfortunately, but I'm not that mean. If I wanted to be a bigger player I'd string girls along and I could get more dates, get more action, etc. But I'm unfortunately too nice for that, I think it's unfair to the girl, and I don't want her to feel like she wasted her time. It's only fair to make sure our goals align, I just don't have the heart to mislead a girl. It's not fair to anyone, really.
Originally Posted by JonathanLB I'm more or less joking around, but I don't agree on probably the definition of committed and I may not agree on the exact order of things. What I'm saying is for me, I am not a player. If I meet a girl I really like, I want to date her, and I don't want to date anyone else, or sleep with anyone else. And I'd like it if she would just date me, too. I have no problem with an exclusive relationship. I don't consider it "casual," but girls may consider it casual. I don't want to get married, ever, and I definitely don't want to have kids. So if a girl springs me with the WITG speech ("Where Is This Going"), I get confused. A relationship isn't a destination to me, it's not like it's a train and it goes from Los Angeles to Seattle or something. If we are both enjoying each other's company, we do fun things together, and we get along great, this is THE HIGHEST point any relationship can achieve. It doesn't "go" anywhere from there. It's there. It's at the zenith of its existence. It's like if my opinion of train is from Los Angeles to San Francisco, and her opinion is that it should go to Seattle, well I'm getting off in San Francisco. If she doesn't want to get off with me (excuse the pun) then she can take the train back to Los Angeles and find someone else who wants to travel to Seattle with her
If you made this perfectly clear there should not be a WITG speach. The thing is that young people, especially females, are programed to want relationships that development to commitment (marriage) and family and growing old together. That is acceptable and what has always been. Women that desire to stay single, just date or sleep around are considered abnormal and defective or a lesbian.
Exactly, societal programming is not what I want in a girl. I want a girl like me who at some point along the line looked at society and societal expectations and took one strong back-hand to knock the blue pills onto the floor and tell Morpheus -- I want to find out how deep the rabbit-hole goes
I don't want a girl who takes for granted what society taught her, her parents taught her, school taught her, or anything else. I want to find someone who sees the world like I do, in a much more interesting way full of possibilities, not limitations. There are not that many girls out there like this, but there are a few.
There are 5 stages a couple should move through in order to have a successful relationship:
Stage One (attraction),
Stage Two (uncertainty),
Stage Three (exclusivity),
Stage Four (intimacy)
Stage Five (commitment)
But here is the secret...
Do not jump into Stage Four -- intimacy -- before both you and your partner have first moved through all the other stages OVER TIME or you'll never get to Stage Five (commitment).
LovesMountains, while I automatically respect someone with your number of posts, reads and rep points I have to disagree with this.
To me, it sounds like someone trying to push their so called Christian "morality" on others or they are espousing ideals (however well meaning) that are really archaic in nature and really probably only work for those who are senior in years or fall into an a category of being rather unattractive.
Successful relationships really only need commitment (which is exclusivity) and love (which is not part of the authors ideas). There are many people who are in successful relationships who may not be physically attracted to each other anymore but that does not mean they are not happy.
I think for most people, intimacy should occur rather soon in any relationship if that relationship is expected to continue.
LovesMountains, while I automatically respect someone with your number of posts, reads and rep points I have to disagree with this.
To me, it sounds like someone trying to push their so called Christian "morality" on others or they are espousing ideals (however well meaning) that are really archaic in nature and really probably only work for those who are senior in years or fall into an a category of being rather unattractive.
Successful relationships really only need commitment (which is exclusivity) and love (which is not part of the authors ideas). There are many people who are in successful relationships who may not be physically attracted to each other anymore but that does not mean they are not happy.
I think for most people, intimacy should occur rather soon in any relationship if that relationship is expected to continue.
Well, thanks for the kind words about respecting my rep
I can promise you, there is no "Christian" agenda here - in fact, the author I quoted who came up with this list is himself HINDU and even lived as a monk for nine years. These are HIS relationship tips that I happen to agree with as I have seen them work time and time again. Yes, I am a Christian myself, but that doesn't mean I don't respect other ideas from other people who aren't when I KNOW they really work
Exactly, societal programming is not what I want in a girl.
I don't want a girl who takes for granted what society taught her, her parents taught her, school taught her, or anything else.
It is not only society, but is part of human nature that has allowed our species to survive and prosper. We have only recently enter a time that the genders do not need each other in a commited fashion for survival.
Quote:
There are not that many girls out there like this, but there are a few.
True. Good luck finding what you are looking for.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Being honest upfront should save you a lot of drama later when the trip comes to an end.
