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Just because nature wants you to reproduce doesn't mean it's the goal of life. It's the goal of genetics, of the species in general, but not of the individual. We have 6 billion people on earth, and interestingly enough the stupider the people, the more they reproduce. Evolution and nature kind of got thwarted there. But every study they've done shows the higher the IQ, on average, the fewer the children. That's not exactly encouraging for the future, but I can tell you one thing, we have 6 billion people on earth and it's about 3 billion too many according to studies I've seen on ecological conservation and keeping a sustainable lifestyle. It's just too many people to prevent global warming and a lot of other potential nightmare scenarios. So it's not selfless or wonderful or anything besides extremely selfish to bring more people into an already over-crowded world.
Just because nature wants you to reproduce doesn't mean it's the goal of life. It's the goal of genetics, of the species in general, but not of the individual. We have 6 billion people on earth, and interestingly enough the stupider the people, the more they reproduce. Evolution and nature kind of got thwarted there. But every study they've done shows the higher the IQ, on average, the fewer the children. That's not exactly encouraging for the future, but I can tell you one thing, we have 6 billion people on earth and it's about 3 billion too many according to studies I've seen on ecological conservation and keeping a sustainable lifestyle. It's just too many people to prevent global warming and a lot of other potential nightmare scenarios. So it's not selfless or wonderful or anything besides extremely selfish to bring more people into an already over-crowded world.
Wow....twisted views here.....I can tell you what is extremely selfish though.....when those who attempt to inflict their views onto others or otherwise attack those who think differently than they do. My husband and I have a little one and I don't believe that has anything to do with our IQ's....actually, my husband and I both have extremely high IQ's. As for us being selfish for having a child? That is absolutely the most absurd suggestion I’ve heard in a long time. You don't want kids, good for you (and for the rest of us) but don't insinuate that those who chose to have children are stupid or otherwise inferior.
Just because nature wants you to reproduce doesn't mean it's the goal of life. It's the goal of genetics, of the species in general, but not of the individual. We have 6 billion people on earth, and interestingly enough the stupider the people, the more they reproduce. Evolution and nature kind of got thwarted there. But every study they've done shows the higher the IQ, on average, the fewer the children. That's not exactly encouraging for the future, but I can tell you one thing, we have 6 billion people on earth and it's about 3 billion too many according to studies I've seen on ecological conservation and keeping a sustainable lifestyle. It's just too many people to prevent global warming and a lot of other potential nightmare scenarios. So it's not selfless or wonderful or anything besides extremely selfish to bring more people into an already over-crowded world.
Who talking about "reproducing"? Again, you are going off topic
The proof is in the pudding Congrats to you!! I too know many folks in happy relationships who have followed this formula, or one similar to it.
Forgive me, I did not mean to imply that I am in a happy relationship.
No where did I say that marriage is happy. I would never lie in such a 'female' manner. Females do that.
Marriage is hard.
Every day is painful, I spend a lot of time crying. The lack of intimacy would be far more barable if I lived alone.
I do not see how any man remains sane, in a long term marriage.
It is made much worse in our culture. On Tv we see people smiling, flirting, and acting as if they are in intimate relationships.
It is all a lie.
As I meet more men my age, I have began to learn that this is all very common. I am not alone in the experience. The experience shared by many men.
The carrot on a stick, is so stupid, yet here I am. Hoping, praying that maybe this year, will be the year, that I can once again be in a relationship like when I was courting.
Forgive me, I did not mean to imply that I am in a happy relationship.
No where did I say that marriage is happy. I would never lie in such a 'female' manner. Females do that.
Marriage is hard.
Every day is painful, I spend a lot of time crying. The lack of intimacy would be far more barable if I lived alone.
I do not see how any man remains sane, in a long term marriage.
It is made much worse in our culture. On Tv we see people smiling, flirting, and acting as if they are in intimate relationships.
It is all a lie.
As I meet more men my age, I have began to learn that this is all very common. I am not alone in the experience. The experience shared by many men.
The carrot on a stick, is so stupid, yet here I am. Hoping, praying that maybe this year, will be the year, that I can once again be in a relationship like when I was courting.
Geez Beekeeper, please get some help with all this! You either need marital counseling or personal counseling - no one should go around being miserable in their lives year after year!!! You only get one life and there is no dress rehearsal!!! Why anyone would stay married for decades when they are not happy is just a mystery to me. Why do you do it?
WOW.....don't you love how theory sounds great when put on paper. Unfortunately humans are emotional and often time irrational. Moving through a "methodical" process is probably not realistic if it's even doable at all.
Now, I will say the only way it will work is if the person you've met has read(the book) and practices the same exact thing at the same exact time as you.
What are the chances of that..............
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
Lately there seem to have been several threads or comments from people bemoaning their lack of a successful relationship. The all want to know, where are the "good guys", where are the "nice women"? Believe me, they ARE out there. Many of you ARE the good guys and nice women. But you sell yourselves short and rush into things so quickly when you click with someone that you crash and burn more times than not.
I like what the author John Gray has to say about this...maybe it will help some of you:
There are 5 stages a couple should move through in order to have a successful relationship:
Stage One (attraction),
Stage Two (uncertainty),
Stage Three (exclusivity),
Stage Four (intimacy)
Stage Five (commitment)
But here is the secret...
Do not jump into Stage Four -- intimacy -- before both you and your partner have first moved through all the other stages OVER TIME or you'll never get to Stage Five (commitment).
WOW.....don't you love how theory sounds great when put on paper. Unfortunately humans are emotional and often time irrational. Moving through a "methodical" process is probably not realistic if it's even doable at all.
Now, I will say the only way it will work is if the person you've met has read(the book) and practices the same exact thing at the same exact time you have.
What are the chances of that..............
Again, I have known people who have basically followed this type of plan and have had a lot of success finding a long term meaningful relationship. So for me, it is more than just a "theory" - I have seen it work. And it's not like he put a time frame on each step or anything! He just stressed that following these steps can lead to what a lot are looking for. I see his ideas as more guidelines, not absolutes.
I understand your point and it appears you like his advice and thought process, but John Gray is the last guy I would be taking advice from............
If I wanted advice on sustaining a long relationship I'd consult someone that's been married for 30 years or more.
Have you ever talked with "old people" that have been married "forever" or about any subject and the answers they give you are just soooo simple and easy to understand? That's becuase wisdom is more often than not, very simple.
I apply that kind of thinking to building and sustaining a long term relationship.
It's not that relationships are difficult, we just make things waaaay more complex than what they are. We take ourslefs waaaaaaaaay to serious.
CD is a prime example, we can have a thread that's fun and exciting and all of a sudden the party poopers come in and get ultra serious and interject some off the wall B.S. that destroys the mood.
That same stuff occurs in relationships. Folks make it to complex.
Forgive me, I did not mean to imply that I am in a happy relationship.
No where did I say that marriage is happy. I would never lie in such a 'female' manner. Females do that.
Marriage is hard.
Every day is painful, I spend a lot of time crying. The lack of intimacy would be far more barable if I lived alone.
I do not see how any man remains sane, in a long term marriage.
It is made much worse in our culture. On Tv we see people smiling, flirting, and acting as if they are in intimate relationships.
It is all a lie.
As I meet more men my age, I have began to learn that this is all very common. I am not alone in the experience. The experience shared by many men.
The carrot on a stick, is so stupid, yet here I am. Hoping, praying that maybe this year, will be the year, that I can once again be in a relationship like when I was courting.
Yes, it's tough, but it's not always how you're saying. There are marriages that have more happiness than sadness and there are marriages that still have a spark in the bedroom. Your situation is very different.
I pray that you don't lose hope and find what you're looking for.
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Congrats to you!! I too know many folks in happy relationships who have followed this formula, or one similar to it.
