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I am far too old and very married to be a player but I think I can give you some advice on running into guys who are "players". I have a very beautiful niece who dated a guy for 10 years, lived with him and then got engaged. He never helped her pay bills, lived off her paycheck while he was working and going to college, cheated on her and when the engagement happened...his MOM bought her ring. Now I ask you...is that a player??
Not a player, just a loser.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Connecticut Pam
So..stay off of online sites if you are looking for a real relationship
Online sites are actually a great way to meet men. I know plenty of people who have met and married that way. You just have to be smart about who you date. The same goes for men you meet anywhere.
Chinolala, you offer some interesting points. I'm one of those people who says that "I don't have time for games", etc, but find myself attracted to these players who do continuous play games. I'm talking to this one guy, who I've known for a few months now, and he constantly pushes me away but the next day will end up pouring his heart out to me. I don't want to get too emotionally involved with him bc I am afraid of getting hurt and know that he's still a little player. Any advice?
In this case, it sounds like he wants you to be there for him when he wants you to be there for him. No more and no less. So if you are there to listen to him pouring his heart out whenever he has the need to do so, you're telling him (without even saying it) that you will be there for him purely at his terms. What if you have the need to pour your heart out to him? Not that I recommend this at this stage...but is he there for you when you want him to be? If the answer is no, my advice is to not be available to be his "sounding board" when he needs you to be. The relationship has to be more equitable and it sounds like it's on his terms right now. In order for him to respect you and your time, you need to push him away a bit. Don't always be available to talk when he wants to. Say things like, "I'm actually about to head out right now. Let me call you later". And then, call him in a couple of days. Let him pursue you a bit. Let him learn what it's like to go awhile without talking to you. It could blow up in your face and he may find someone else. But if that's the case, then as the cliche goes, "He's really not that into you." You can't make someone like you, but you can make someone intrigued with you and buy time and with that time, they may learn that they do like you. If you're too available too soon, there is no chivalry. Everything is in fast forward mode. Play a little game of "cat and mouse" with him.
I think things are simpler than that. If you are looking for a serious dating take your time to know the person. You can sleep with him if you are attracted to him, and if you can keep your emotions at bay. You can also ask a man does he wants a potential relationship or he is only interested in sex. I am at the moment not for a serious relationship, and I have an activity partner, but I can keep sex and love in separate departments, just like men. It is never excluded that even something like that can lead to something more, but I want it to be spontaneous and both sided. If he for example is not interested in that, I am not either, because everyone has the right to chose what is right for herself/himself.
so far, I have met 2 players - both older than me and well-established. I got my heartbroken once.
I guess I was/am too naive..and I am really trying to be smarter in this game...
how I can tell if he is a player? any signs?
ps. guys on this forum please don't send me msgs if you have the same motive as a player!!!
if I can tell, how I can play a player?
any female players on here?
ps. female players, do send me msgs or reply to this thread, thanks!!
I don't think this is a game...
Sounds to me you want to become a player to get revenge on men... Don't hurt some poor guy like they hurt you.... plus, I'm sure a "player" probably doesn't care if he gets played or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute
Good advice so far. If you announce on the first or second date that you won't be having sex until you get a ring, a player may stick around just a bit to see if he can change your mind, but most will simply be out of there quickly. In other words, you can only be played if you let yourself be played.
That would put off 99.9% of all men, players or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313
Take things one day at a time. No rush, no hurries, and no worries.
Don`t be the chaser. Let him chase you.
Great advice... ignore all the nervous guys surely they are all "players" , most guys are not about to chase a women like in one of those unrealistic romances movies. Why put yourself out there for a girl who doesn't show any interest in you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by cobolt
What's wrong with a woman chasing a man is that later you'll want the guy to be a stand up man who makes decisions and is strong and that sort of thing. He has to be the pursuer to do that. If the woman is chasing the man, you're either going to end up emasculating him and resenting him later for the equation you set up or things will come too easy for him and you'll be played by a player.
A girl I like comes over and chats me up... somehow I don't think that's going to "emasculate" me... and I really don't see how getting the man you want will make a women resent him...
There is away the risk of a player, and in my opinion a player is the one who will most likely "sweet talk" you into liking him/her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ADA XY
I think things are simpler than that. If you are looking for a serious dating take your time to know the person. You can sleep with him if you are attracted to him, and if you can keep your emotions at bay. You can also ask a man does he wants a potential relationship or he is only interested in sex. I am at the moment not for a serious relationship, and I have an activity partner, but I can keep sex and love in separate departments, just like men. It is never excluded that even something like that can lead to something more, but I want it to be spontaneous and both sided. If he for example is not interested in that, I am not either, because everyone has the right to chose what is right for herself/himself.
Only one heartbreak? Be yourself and don't change. The best thing when it comes to dating is to keep YOUR objectives in mind and you won't be easily PLAYED. You get played when you get sucked into someone else's agendy and you forget about what you want and what you're about. You will live and love.
BUT..............
If you really want to know the game and can stand to listen to rap:
Suga Free - Abracadabra
OP, what are you wanting...To be a player, eg have some of the few guy fall for you and break their hearts? Ultimately turning them into players? Or would you just rather sleep around?
It's extremely difficult to identify a "veteran player" until it's too late. Only thing you can do as mentioned is to take things very slow. You'll eventually be "more trouble than your worth"...
so far, I have met 2 players - both older than me and well-established. I got my heartbroken once.
I guess I was/am too naive..and I am really trying to be smarter in this game...
how I can tell if he is a player? any signs?
ps. guys on this forum please don't send me msgs if you have the same motive as a player!!!
if I can tell, how I can play a player?
any female players on here?
ps. female players, do send me msgs or reply to this thread, thanks!!
Don't waste your time in stooping down to anyone's level to get the upper hand. The problem is the men or woman that we come in contact with. Choose wisely and be friends first. If you jump in feet first, you will always land hard. Go in head first and if they rush you...pass them up! LOSER!
In am in love with with my ex who happens to be my childs father he is a player at least that what he told me years ago. We have got reconnected by a handsome grandson birth I am married and he is in a relationship my love for him never left we just went our separate ways when I got pregnant he, said the responsibility and the fact that he was in service really scared him. I really still am in love with him after 20 some years our daughter is 28 years old I need to know how do I find out if he is sincere about his feelings or am I once again being played!
you can't be played unless you don't know anything! ask questions & accept the answers as the truth if someone tells you they aren't ready to get serious with anyone! the truth is always there if you want to see it,if not,someone is desperate to get you & therefore take it as a compliment & move on!
Love is a word thrown around too easily & too many people want LOVE just after they meet someone! look at the terrible lack of self respect going around in this nutty world!
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Jag is right
