Study Abroad- whta would you do? Honestly? (wife, young, kids)
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Nuala- thank you for your support. I have gotten many negative comments here which I don't mind at all because I did ask for people's opinions but it is nice to hear something positive!
I really am saddened that you take our comments as negative because we, who have experienced a life of perhaps some hard lessons, write from our hearts hoping to spare you and your son grief later on.
First of all he is not my husband and second i doubt he will stay with his son alone. I do mostly everything with our son anyway, he does play with him but that's where it stops.
Don't underestimate playing with a child. This forms a bond above all others. Your son his very, very lucky.
Nuala- thank you for your support. I have gotten many negative comments here which I don't mind at all because I did ask for people's opinions but it is nice to hear something positive!
This is a bunch of nonsense.
What? Do you think we all sit around all day wanting to squash people's ambitions? It just happens that we all have lived through a lot and seen a lot in life, and we know trouble when we see it. Heck, I'm a lot more adventurous than most people. I'm a roll-the-dice kind of guy. But I don't gamble with my family.
In short, what you're looking for here is validation, not advice. You're going to ignore the people who are waving the red flags, all because they don't agree with a decision that you've evidently already made.
I appreciate your advice but here's my opinion: I find that my significant other doesn't support me in a lot of things. I feel like why should I wait 15 years for my dream? Yes we have a family but we survived getting past an unplanned pregnancy and enjoying our child so why can't we deal with this?
Why? Because maybe it's not as important as you think it is. Focus on how you two got past the unplanned pregnancy. There will be more obstacles in your relationship that you can expect. The two of you will deal with them one by one. That is what makes a successful relationship. And when you both enjoy your child, as you say, it's very promising. Please beware of spoiling that richness which you already have.
I think you should grow up and realize that raising your child is priority one. Taking them from the father is selfish and irresponsible. Kids come with responsibility, you cant just decide to go trekking overseas for a year w/o regard to their upbringing. If you need financial aid to do this you are not in a position to do it.
Why? Because maybe it's not as important as you think it is. Focus on how you two got past the unplanned pregnancy. There will be more obstacles in your relationship that you can expect. The two of you will deal with them one by one. That is what makes a successful relationship. And when you both enjoy your child, as you say, it's very promising. Please beware of spoiling that richness which you already have.
Don't waste your breath. I think we're dealing with somebody who really only cares about herself here. She's going to flush her relationship and separate her child from his father all to pursue this opportunity. Now she's just offering up rationalizations. She's already made up her mind.
Don't waste your breath. I think we're dealing with somebody who really only cares about herself here. She's going to flush her relationship and separate her child from his father all to pursue this opportunity. Now she's just offering up rationalizations. She's already made up her mind.
She will have to learn the hard way. But it's her child I'm concerned about. When she returns, will the child have a solid and stable relationship with his parents?
I am in a very interesting situation in my life right now. I am going to school and I have a 3 years old son. However, the interesting part is that I have this desire within me to go to study abroad in the language that I am studying right now. I am constantly battling with this thought that if I don't I will regret it. But also I live with the child's father who does not want me to leave for a whole year (that's how long the program is). So, really I have to choose either between my relationship struggling or my making my dream come true (or regretting it if I don't go) I want to take the child with me, and I only want to go if I get qualifying financial aid, but am still struggling with the decisions. He cannot come with me because he is not eligible to leave the country for that long due to immigration at this time.
Any advice?
P.S I am 25 years old-just if you guys are curious!
Tough decision you have there. If your relationship is strong with great sense of trust, I think you should go. Leave your son with his dad as it would also be a great experience for them to be alone together as well. Go get your education, then when you return, maybe you guys will end up getting married. That would be great, especially for your son.
This is something you really need to sit down with your boyfriend to discuss. Also prime example of why women shouldnt have kids until after they've been married and completed school. Makes life much more difficult than it has to be.
Don't waste your breath. I think we're dealing with somebody who really only cares about herself here. She's going to flush her relationship and separate her child from his father all to pursue this opportunity. Now she's just offering up rationalizations. She's already made up her mind.
Is it that obvious?
Quote:
Originally Posted by laotzumindfu
this is something you really need to sit down with your boyfriend to discuss. Also prime example of why women shouldnt have kids until after they've been married and completed school. Makes life much more difficult than it has to be.
Thank you, everyone,
I would like to add some things. I read all of your posts and am carefully considering my options,
I have NOT made up my mind about this in any way. I know it might sound like i did, but I didn't. In fact I am simply thinking about it. last year I was considering this also, kind of put it in the back of my mind though.
For those of you that call me irresponsible or selfish I have the following to say. I understand that you don't really know me but in fact I am one of the most responsible people out there. I take care of my son, sacrifice a lot, like a mother should and try to spend as much time with him as possible!
I want to take him with me because I want him to be with him, I am not the kind of mother who leaves her son and leaves for a long time.
besides I don't understand why my significant other couldn't wait for a year?
Would you (men)?
If I were irresponsible I would just decide to leave, give my kid to relatives etc.. but I am not doing this am I?
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continuing on my thoughts.
