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Congrats on your weight loss, JustJulia. That takes a lot of work!
Unfortunately I have gained about 20 pounds in the last two years. I have noticed that several female acquaintances seem kinder and friendlier to me now. It's rather unsettling to be honest. It's sort like I have suddenly been welcomed onto the Girls' Team.
I DON"T WANT TO BE ON THE GIRLS' TEAM!
Thank you very much, but no thanks. I want to go back to whatever team I was on when men noticed me and smiled at me.
I can see this being a "whatever" in the teens because well..teens are insane. lol
But I notice this a lot in the adult world. I got treated totally differently by women when I was slobbed out and chunky. That was not me and after changing things I feel better. I still act the same. But women are strait up c**** with snide remarks if they think you might look better than they do it seems. Women never admit they do this and it seems only guys agree with me and laugh at the other women go "oh well I never"
What is the "man version" of this? Is there one?
Yes there is a guy versions of this since guys are so competitive. When I was fat other guys acted different towards me now that I'm slender and fit they act like I'm a challenge to them in the caveman club or something. Also if you have an attractive date or girlfriend other guys get really jealous of that.
I can see this being a "whatever" in the teens because well..teens are insane. lol
But I notice this a lot in the adult world. I got treated totally differently by women when I was slobbed out and chunky. That was not me and after changing things I feel better. I still act the same. But women are strait up c**** with snide remarks if they think you might look better than they do it seems. Women never admit they do this and it seems only guys agree with me and laugh at the other women go "oh well I never"
Women are threated by other women because they are afraid they will lose the attention of any men around. It doesn't bother me in the least. I just smile and mind my own business...and yes especially in high school I experienced it. Now, it is more if I go out. I don't flirt with other women's men, so that helps. If they give me dirty looks just for existing, that is their problem not mine.
I can see this being a "whatever" in the teens because well..teens are insane. lol
But I notice this a lot in the adult world. I got treated totally differently by women when I was slobbed out and chunky. That was not me and after changing things I feel better. I still act the same. But women are strait up c**** with snide remarks if they think you might look better than they do it seems. Women never admit they do this and it seems only guys agree with me and laugh at the other women go "oh well I never"
What is the "man version" of this? Is there one?
I was considered to be one of the 'beautiful people' in school but I liked to hang around the 'nerds' and other women who were considered to be less beautiful. The other so called 'pretty girls' would try to provoke me into screaming matches and fist fights because I wanted nothing to do with them and their social circle. Just because you are considered to be 'pretty' does not give you a pass to act like a b***h! I can't stand people who treat others differently based on looks.
I can see this being a "whatever" in the teens because well..teens are insane. lol
But I notice this a lot in the adult world. I got treated totally differently by women when I was slobbed out and chunky. That was not me and after changing things I feel better. I still act the same. But women are strait up c**** with snide remarks if they think you might look better than they do it seems. Women never admit they do this and it seems only guys agree with me and laugh at the other women go "oh well I never"
What is the "man version" of this? Is there one?
I am inclined to think that it has not too much to do with your appearance as of now. After all, I lost fifty pounds a while ago, and I run marathons now. Yes, people do treat me differently, I get an awful lot more attention by men, which I think in a way, is unfortunate, as I am the same person, but I don't get the nasty treatment by other women you speak of.
So what really, is the difference? The difference is that I am not out here thinking I am, for lack of a better term, the 's*it.' I don't think I am better than/look better than any other woman. Your post implies (though, forgive me if I am wrong) that you believe, in fact, that you are. Especially since(your words, not mine) you are not a 'slob' anymore.
There's a difference between confidence and outright conceited narcissism. YOU may think that you're not behaving any differently, but ask someone close to you how you are coming across. If YOU yourself believe you are better than/look better than other women, that superior attitude will come across, and for many people, that IS a turnoff.
Just consider that you may not be coming across how you intended.
People will do what they do because they are insecure and competitive. It's human nature. You don't have to be actually attractive for other women to be catty towards you. You could just exude an air of thinking that you are hotter than other women... that alone can be annoying because it is PERCEIVED as indirectly confrontational. Unattractive women who consciously believe they are hot (i.e. Jersey shore) are possibly more annoying to me than somebody who has a better grip on reality. Truly hot women don't bother me at baseline... but when they flaunt it, perhaps it stokes the fires of competition.
Another annoying thing is if guy friends all drool over a certain "hot" girl... but you don't actually think her looks warrant the attention because it is all smoke n mirrors. In those instances it is not jealousy that is the driving factor, but rather disdain for the men's lack of discriminating taste. Invariably, the men will think you are jealous if you contradict their opinions, but whatever... they can go eat a cocksicle. That is the way of the world and nothing will ever change.
I can be conceited or not ambivalent about my looks on any given day depending on my mood. I can definitely see how people treat me differently when I dress up all the time versus slobbing out. I also accept the fact that this is how it will be, and that I probably do similar things on a subconscious or conscious level. I guess I have come to terms with these things and only seek out friends who are not pathologically snide.
I feel like this really kind of hits home for me sadly as I look a lot better than woman my age and you wouldn't believe how annoyed some women get I have gotten a lot fitter in the last seven months and and started a very clean diet and my husband is usually fairly proud of me I find that he clearly sometimes gets very difficult and angry when I don't eat processed meats or large quantiies of junk food. His very large sister also really beats me up to the point where I have now stopped being able to see her and I have panic attacks every single time I think of the abuse I have suffered under her hands Her own son and very attractive daughter in law had to cut off contact with her as well and there seems to be a link to me with her hating on attractive females although she could probably fit the term gross.....
Women are threated by other women because they are afraid they will lose the attention of any men around. It doesn't bother me in the least. I just smile and mind my own business...and yes especially in high school I experienced it. Now, it is more if I go out. I don't flirt with other women's men, so that helps. If they give me dirty looks just for existing, that is their problem not mine.
My sentiments exactly!
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I have gotten a lot fitter in the last seven months and and started a very clean diet and my husband is usually fairly proud of me I find that he clearly sometimes gets very difficult and angry when I don't eat processed meats or large quantiies of junk food. His very large sister also really beats me up to the point where I have now stopped being able to see her and I have panic attacks every single time I think of the abuse I have suffered under her hands
