Why are women so nasty to other women that look good? (kid, American)

[mango tango]

Originally Posted by hanibani

Thanks a lot! Not only do I get my confidence knocked by them, but now I get judged by YOU... well I guess it's because you haven't met you and my story sounds unbelievable. Are you male/female? Just ask as most girls can relate to this type of experience. I am very very sweet, kind and friendly. It has been suggested to me that HORRIBLE girls will hate me more for being NICE as in they resent the fact they can't even convince people they don't like me because I'm a ***** or something. I have a sensitive gentle personality, so nasty girls take advantage of that ***** in my armour... what am I supposed to do? Become a *****? Make people afraid of me so they won't attack me?... I'd rather feel good about being a nice person... but it doesn't help solve the problem. I find their cruelty hard to ignore. It's always less of a problem when I have my girl friends around me.

I'm not judging you. All I said was that I believed there was more to the scenario than what you said. It doesn't mean that YOU are at fault or anything.

I'm a female and a very attractive one at that so I feel vaguely qualified to give an answer. I get along wonderfully with girls and I'm not exactly the sweetest person in the world either. I'm just open and genuine with everyone and they seem to respond back favorably.

[yayoi]

Originally Posted by mango tango

I don't believe that all these girls hate you JUST because of your looks. There has to be something else.

Originally Posted by Jays1983

They dislike you because you seem very confrontational.

Originally Posted by virgode

I agree, she doing something, giving off a vibe an attitude or just the tone she uses.
Females can be catty and can pick up on it in a New York minute.

Shhh..... Don't tell them that! It's never their fault! The other person always has the problem. They all have such nice personalities so everyone should like them, right?

[JustJulia]

If you think a woman disagreeing with you is simply lying, then I guess there's not much to say. It's like when I was a teenager and my dad told me I was argumentative.

[Sprawling_Homeowner]

Originally Posted by Frankie117

Women are enemies until something makes them friends, and men are friends until something makes them enemies..

I won't forget this one.

[picklejuice]

In a man's world, this happens in business.

Women are pitted against one another from the get-go. How many male beauty pageants are there? Not many, if any.

It definitely will show which women have character.

[fleetiebelle]

One of my favorite quotes from the author of Bridget Jones:

"Olivia’s theory was that you could divide women into two types: those who were on the Girls’ Team, and Undercover *******. If a woman was on the Girls’ Team, she could be as beautiful, intelligent, rich, famous, sexy, successful and as popular as f*ck, and you’d still like her. Women on the Girls’ Team had solidarity. They were conspiratorial and brought all their f*ck-ups to the table for everyone to enjoy. Undercover ******* were competitive: they showed off, tried to put others down to make themselves look good, lacked humour and a sense of their own ridiculousness, said things which sounded okay on the surface but were actually designed to make you feel really bad, couldn’t bear it when they weren’t getting enough attention, and they flicked their hair. Men didn’t get all this. They thought women took against each other because they were jealous. Quite tragic, really."
-- Helen Fielding, Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination

[e.ortega]

Originally Posted by pitt_transplant

I can see this being a "whatever" in the teens because well..teens are insane. lol

But I notice this a lot in the adult world. I got treated totally differently by women when I was slobbed out and chunky. That was not me and after changing things I feel better. I still act the same. But women are strait up c**** with snide remarks if they think you might look better than they do it seems. Women never admit they do this and it seems only guys agree with me and laugh at the other women go "oh well I never"


What is the "man version" of this? Is there one?

I am a female and I agree with you also Women are haters!!!! If your prettier, if you have a nice job, if you have a handsome hubby, if you have great kids, if you have a nice house/car right away they have some SNIDE (as you said) remark to say about everything or nothing at all. All of a sudden they become very nosy and interested in your life or the opposite. They don't want anything to do with you or your family and friends because of the jelousy and hatred they consume in them.

For example at work women come in and they see me and automatically try to ignore me altogether but are sooooo nice to my co-worker who sits next to me They look at me and turn away immediately.... or they say Hi and when I respond they ignore and speak to my co-worker only!!!! WTH.......Jealous Witches I call them...

[Sprawling_Homeowner]

After reading this thread...

1. My belief that men very often are preferred for friendship by many women is stronger than ever.
2. My belief that women can be insecure, catty, mean-spirited, and shallow is stronger than ever.
3. My belief that humanity as a whole is depraved, corrupt, and perverted is even stronger than ever.

Have a nice day.

[karuna95]

How sad... I'm sorry you feel that way

Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner

After reading this thread...

1. My belief that men very often are preferred for friendship by many women is stronger than ever.
2. My belief that women can be insecure, catty, mean-spirited, and shallow is stronger than ever.
3. My belief that humanity as a whole is depraved, corrupt, and perverted is even stronger than ever.

Have a nice day.

I've had both men and women (strangers as well as friends) tell me I'm beautiful. I usually refer them to an optometrist . It's flattering of course, but it doesn't affect how I feel about myself, or how I treat others.

I believe in the inherent goodness of people, and am usually not disappointed. I can't say that I've ever experienced any jealousy from women because of the way I look (definitely not beautiful, perhaps just happy and peaceful.) My experience is that women are generally very supportive and affirming.

[Sprawling_Homeowner]

Originally Posted by pitt_transplant

But I notice this a lot in the adult world. I got treated totally differently by women when I was slobbed out and chunky. That was not me and after changing things I feel better. I still act the same. But women are strait up c**** with snide remarks if they think you might look better than they do it seems. Women never admit they do this and it seems only guys agree with me and laugh at the other women go "oh well I never"

What is the "man version" of this? Is there one?

I will concede that if a person who is very good-looking is also puffed up, arrogant, sarcastic, and generally disrespectful to others, that this person will have no moral right to complain about being treated badly by others. This holds for anybody regardless of appearance, though.

Now, you mention you were treated well when you were "slobbed out and chunky." I think I know why.

As someone who is at the gym 3-4 times a week, I know how much it work is required to maintain oneself in good shape, especially as we're all working adults. The women who now treat you badly are simply jealous; and, these specific individuals most probably are still slobbed out and chunky themselves. That your success in leaving the ranks of the slovenly and overweight doesn't bring you compliments from them is the clearest possible proof that they lack the willpower to evict themselves from fat-land. It irks them that they can't or won't do it, and YOU did it. It's not so much you per se - they're probably angry at themselves, and your current physique simply triggers that angst.

In recent time, I haven't felt men resenting me or being catty to me because I've improved my body. If anything, I've gotten compliments ("dude, you're big enough") or questions on how to train ("how do you train your delts?"). Women haven't given me compliments my body, but they've not criticized it either. Who knows what they're thinking. LOL

Now, with women who were never fat or what not... women who are blessed w/ impressive beauty...

A female friend of mine is 6' without heels. She is drop-dead gorgeous; without exaggeration, she has the body to be in a men's magazine. She has EVERYTHING. Long legs, a blazing butt, huge breasts, a very lean midsection, and a killer face. And she's a nice girl. She won't take nonsense from anybody, but she doesn't pick fights and she minds her business. And yet many women have hated her, accused her of plastic surgery, etc. They've never taken the time to get to know her as a person. They make snap judgments from what they see and they conclude my friends deserves their contempt. These women who hate her are usually much shorter (5'5" usually), nowhere as pretty, and much inferior in overall beauty.

Does my friend deserve to be hated? Is it her fault she was born this beautiful? Is it her fault she can eat more than men her size and stay lean? It may not be fair, but she isn't responsible for how she looks, for how others look, and for how others treat her as long as she does them no harm or evil. Yet these women find it in them to be spiteful.

It is shallowness, rotten character, selfishness, and insecurity all combined, and topped off w/ schadenfraude. They would love to see her turn ugly or fall into ruin, and they cannot stand her for her looks and for the fact she's always happy. If these women in their late 20s/early 30s, some of who aren't that bad looking themselves, are like this, I would prefer to avoid them 20-30 years from now.

With men, I wouldn't say I've noticed this, not as far as looks are concerned. Men can be catty towards other men if they find a reason to be jealous, but it's usually not looks.

Examples:
1. John is a wealthy friend of mine. He indulged once and bought a limited edition sports car which he rarely drives. It's his "toy." Whenever he takes it out, everyone stares. And, when he bought it, he told Paul about it. Paul's reaction was to ask "why?"

Now, most men - especially MEN since we like cars - would've said, "wow that's cool man! The ladies are all gonna love you now! Niiiiiiiiiiiiiice! Sweet! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN! Take me for a ride dude!" But no. Paul made no positive remarks and questioned John as to the purchase. Mind you, John's got a lovely family; he has a family minivan and a compact auto. The sports car was for him. He can afford it. But Paul just HAD to steal his thunder.

2. Stephen is someone I have fallen out of touch with. We were never close, but for many years he made remarks to put others down, including me. It's as if he wanted to knock others down to make himself feel better. Whether it was a job, or a girl one was dating, he always found something negative to say. Things he, and other men I've known, would say include, "what's the point of working out? in 20 years you'll be an overweight middle-aged man anyway." Perhaps the fact Stephen was historically very fat played a role?

Humanity is miserable. We just cannot find it within ourselves to rejoice w/ the joys of others, so we just *have* to hate them for their happiness. Sick.