Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Actually, Magnolia Thunder's post was neither racist nor bitter.
Now this thread is starting to lose all credibility, because the OP (while making decent money overseas) seems to lack emotional intelligence.
Maybe that will explain your problems.
Magnolia Thunder is right that many American women are independent and do not want to be dependent on men, etc... even if that is a trait more common amongst women over the age of 30.
MT said many women not ALL women.
MT also says that many males are insecure around independent women - this is totally true. Many not all. (I'm a guy who seeks out independence as I don't want the responsibility of catering to the insecurities and self-esteem problems of dependent women).
Magolia Thunder did make a slight error when talking about curvy bodies, and that's where I think you interpreted the so-called "racism".
So many women from so many different cultures have curves, and are very sexy. This is not solely the domain of American women. I can rattle off a list of countries who have just as many beautiful and sexy girls as the US. If anything, many American women need a lesson on how to dress attractively to show off those curves. The comment about Asian girls looking like 12 year old girls also stained otherwise sensible comments...probably an emotional retort that if MT just hung out in the Tokyo airport for a few hours, MT would understand that not all Asian girls look like 12 year olds.
But it's hardly racist...it's a combination of emotional irrationalism and ignorance. But overall the post was acceptable, and shouldn't be deleted on the grounds of racism, LOL.
Just trying to clarify....you are meaning that a woman believes that if she doesn't act feminine, she believes she is conveying strength, right?
Hi Andreams,
First I want to state being an American, I knew lots of American girls. I can't say that I didn't like them. Lots of them were my friends and I have very fond memories with them. They just lacked seducing power over me. I knew some Germans who were a bit better but still a bit lacking. 35 years was enough time. Feminism and male assertiveness just was not seductive.
If you see pretty flowers its not aggressive is it?
Yet it will turn people's heads and there is a hidden danger here. Foxgloves contain potent digitoxins that target the heart. What better image is there than the power of a woman's feminine seduction? A 200 pound man would have great difficulty over powering me. A beautiful seductive women does so with ease. Not blatant sexuality but sensual.
Quote:
Can you give an example of how a woman could act with a strength that is also feminine? Or is it something that cannot be done at the same time, so a woman needs to show both her feminine side and her strong side to get that across?
Its very simple. Say in the middle of the table is an object both a man and a woman want.
Scenario #1
Both reach for it aggressively. The likely result is the man will get it. Her only option is a verbal assault attempting to humiliate and psychologically shame him.
Scenario #2
There is a social stigma to defer to a "lady". Women in general may benefit from a collective aura of respect. If he respects this, he may relent.
Scenario #3
This is the power of seduction appropriate in romance. He takes the object. She gains eye contact, tilts here head exposing herself submissively and says, I think that's mine. Is it really submission? She simply reminds the poor sap she has the goods, and she is the gate keeper. She gives him a peek of the real power she has over him.
Quote:
Can you give an example by what is "beast-like" behavior?
I am honestly curious, because I do believe I am a strong and independent women. I am strong in body, strong in heart, and am happy with who I am and what I am doing. I love my relationship, but don't need it to survive, so I feel independent. Yet, I also love the times that I can be feminine, and I definitely love being the girl in my relationship. I might be the alpha, but I am still the girl. I do not see any part of me as beast-like. Just because the job I have tends to be filled more by men, and many of my interests are more male-oriented, does that make me beast-like?
Not trying to start an argument about *me*, but I am an American women, so I see no better way to get clarification
You don't necessarily want to be submissive but at times hint of it. That is not submissive. It means you could if you wanted. You will not usually want to do this in a business environment. At the water cooler maybe and only sparingly. Just enough to remind you are a woman. Your a women and be proud of it. Acting like a man appears more like shame. I do hear that women say that they cannot just turn it on and off. That is nonsense. Do I flirt with my mother?
American women should look on the bright side. If I had run into this not in the form of a mother of four seven years my senior, I would have gone American. So its easy to stand out. Part of it is my fault since I was in some of the wrong places. However when I would look in suburbia, I would see butch looking mothers and think to myself, "Is this going to be my reward?" Where is the motivation? So even if I did go downtown, I just figured I was looking 5 years ahead and end up here. My own 90 year old grandmother asked me if it was because they are fat(or will be). She saw it.
The other problem with the career oriented American girl is what if I need to move. One of us is going to need to defer . It does break up relationships. I could simply avoid this problem, and I did.
That is my honest assessment. I am not sure if other American men feel this way. I just love the intoxication of femininity. Where is the fun in shacking up with my buddy?
Actually, Magnolia Thunder's post was neither racist nor bitter.
Now this thread is starting to lose all credibility, because the OP (while making decent money overseas) seems to lack emotional intelligence.
Maybe that will explain your problems.
Magnolia Thunder is right that many American women are independent and do not want to be dependent on men, etc... even if that is a trait more common amongst women over the age of 30.
MT said many women not ALL women.
Quote:
MT also says that many males are insecure around independent women - this is totally true. Many not all. (I'm a guy who seeks out independence as I don't want the responsibility of catering to the insecurities and self-esteem problems of dependent women).
Independence is continually considered the ideal in the US and its like running my knuckles over a cheese grater every time this comes up. I want capable, not independent. Is a steering wheel capable or independent? It cannot possibly be independent of the vehicle and it is capable. I am completely dependent on my capable wife as she is dependent on my capability. Alone, we cannot do it all. Many relationships look like counter fortresses rather than additions.
Its the weak man who seeks independent women because he wants a woman capable of completely functioning without him because he fears his own weakness. He quivers in fear at losing his job and hopes for the woman to pick him up. I do not have this weakness.
Quote:
Magolia Thunder did make a slight error when talking about curvy bodies, and that's where I think you interpreted the so-called "racism".
So many women from so many different cultures have curves, and are very sexy. This is not solely the domain of American women. I can rattle off a list of countries who have just as many beautiful and sexy girls as the US. If anything, many American women need a lesson on how to dress attractively to show off those curves.
Agreed.
Quote:
The comment about Asian girls looking like 12 year old girls also stained otherwise sensible comments...probably an emotional retort that if MT just hung out in the Tokyo airport for a few hours, MT would understand that not all Asian girls look like 12 year olds.
But it's hardly racist...it's a combination of emotional irrationalism and ignorance. But overall the post was acceptable, and shouldn't be deleted on the grounds of racism, LOL.
One can hardly blame a women for feeling insecure at this new international pressure. It is another aspect of globalism. When US women were taught to be a certain way, it was in an insular society. It did tend to cause men to leave the love market, but it was still a relative monopoly. Its also landing on 30 something career women something awful because the 20 something man does not have the resources and there is plenty of demand for the 20 something year olds. Its the better 30 and 40 year old men that are being siphoned off who now seem more likely to find things outside the local area, even in another state.They also seem more likely to go younger. These are the marrying kind as well. I was at 35.
I really worry about some career women here putting off marriage until the 30s. Some of these women will not find the best men willing to settle with them, boy friends yes, but marriage will be more difficult. Most women's dating capital is highest in her 20s and she fails to understand her market value at 32 is nowhere near as high as 27. They will also not drop the price to move the goods. That is not in human nature. I really want women to think about what they want and plan accordingly. I don't like unhappy women. I feel nothing good about it. I like to see their beautiful smiles. Having it all is tough.
That lady was very lucky you weren't interested in her, you sound like a typical whiny, insecure, misogynist American male.
For some reason, every time a woman makes that claim, I instantly have to think "man-hater". Why is it misogynistic to support a woman and treat her with the respect she deserves?
Actually, Magnolia Thunder's post was neither racist nor bitter.
Now this thread is starting to lose all credibility, because the OP (while making decent money overseas) seems to lack emotional intelligence.
Maybe that will explain your problems.
Magnolia Thunder is right that many American women are independent and do not want to be dependent on men, etc... even if that is a trait more common amongst women over the age of 30.
MT said many women not ALL women.
MT also says that many males are insecure around independent women - this is totally true. Many not all. (I'm a guy who seeks out independence as I don't want the responsibility of catering to the insecurities and self-esteem problems of dependent women).
Magolia Thunder did make a slight error when talking about curvy bodies, and that's where I think you interpreted the so-called "racism".
So many women from so many different cultures have curves, and are very sexy. This is not solely the domain of American women. I can rattle off a list of countries who have just as many beautiful and sexy girls as the US. If anything, many American women need a lesson on how to dress attractively to show off those curves. The comment about Asian girls looking like 12 year old girls also stained otherwise sensible comments...probably an emotional retort that if MT just hung out in the Tokyo airport for a few hours, MT would understand that not all Asian girls look like 12 year olds.
But it's hardly racist...it's a combination of emotional irrationalism and ignorance. But overall the post was acceptable, and shouldn't be deleted on the grounds of racism, LOL.
She was basically saying that Asian women are built like little boys. And she then went on to make fun of the Asian accent in a very crude way. That's not racist?
Just trying to clarify....you are meaning that a woman believes that if she doesn't act feminine, she believes she is conveying strength, right?
Can you give an example of how a woman could act with a strength that is also feminine? Or is it something that cannot be done at the same time, so a woman needs to show both her feminine side and her strong side to get that across?
Can you give an example by what is "beast-like" behavior?
I am honestly curious, because I do believe I am a strong and independent women. I am strong in body, strong in heart, and am happy with who I am and what I am doing. I love my relationship, but don't need it to survive, so I feel independent. Yet, I also love the times that I can be feminine, and I definitely love being the girl in my relationship. I might be the alpha, but I am still the girl. I do not see any part of me as beast-like. Just because the job I have tends to be filled more by men, and many of my interests are more male-oriented, does that make me beast-like?
Not trying to start an argument about *me*, but I am an American women, so I see no better way to get clarification
What I mean is that a lot of American women act downright crude, mean, cold and boorish. And they think this makes them strong.
It's like they are adopting some of the worst aspects of male behavior, and they think it gives them equality to do this. Many people have written about this phenomenon in books actually.
I think that even when men act like this it is not good at all. But when women act like this it is downright ugly.
As for beast-like behavior. Just think about the American woman who acts totally rude and mean, is physically very big and unnattractive, and ironically enough, they have high expectations for their significant other.
You can be a powerful individual without being crude, mean and cold.
Anytime I see someone making claims of how much better it is on the otherside, I suspect they remained in a comfort zone overseas with people who just liked Americans. I've seen the best and worst of both worlds. Ask some Russian women how warm, friendly, and approachable many Russian men are, or go to places like Ecuador and Peru and see how much those men down there like the idea of you sweeping their women off their feet because you are millionaire in their eyes. While I've met some nice men and women in places like Korea, Okinawa, Ecuador, and the Middle East, as well as Europe, I can tell you there were just as many if not more, ordinary people who were no friendlier or warmer than your average American.
I've spent time in South America, and trust me, the women there are no different from the women here when they want something from you. You living in a place like Columbia or Brazil with your $100K salary and the promise of a life back in the states is the equivalent of pro athletes who are swarmed by beautiful and very accomodating women at nighclubs around the country. In the eyes of these women in under-developed countries, an American man making $60K or better per year is a millionaire, of course they're going to be warm and friendly. They want to score the big prize. Next time you are out and about, take notice of the majority of women who work legitimate jobs and aren't struggling financially, and who aren't quite taken by your status as an American.
I actually live in a very rich neighborhood in a wealthy country right now. My town is full of luxery cars and extremely expensive stores that are always full of people buying.
Most of the women I meet make more money than me, yet they are still much nicer than even the most poor American women. Same with the men, even if they are working at the higher levels of a big company, they will still act cool. These people do not want to leave this country.
Not everyone in this world is looking for a ticket to the USA, a lot of people have no interest in going there at all. Sure, in the poor countries they do, but not in the more affluent countries.
What you say does have a lot of truth to it when in poorer countries. But there is a lot more to it then that. What you say does not apply to the welathier countries.
The fact is, the USA has always been the land of the rugged individual. The cowboy, the mountain man, the person who goes to a new land to hustle up their own living. And this has lingered into the modern culture attitude of the American people. American people have a "Me against the world" attitude in general.
In some ways it is a good thing. In some ways it is not so good.
The local Asian women here are SOOOOOO much more warm, personable, understanding and HUMAN. They make me feel the love, instead of the uptight icyness. They are not the masculine machine-like beasts that American women these days have become.
It's not just Asian women though. It was the same story in the other continents i've visited. The women are just more warm, more fun, and more cool.
Geeze, tell us how you really feel! Don't hold back, us masculine, machine-like, American women can take it!
What I mean is that a lot of American women act downright crude, mean, cold and boorish. And they think this makes them strong.
I find it very ironic that for a man criticizing American women for all their negative traits, you display the same characteristics. Maybe instead of dating you should do a little self-reflection.
I think I will go back to being the only North American in my world. "
And I think the same was true of you -- and you must have been taking notes at the dinner table to have documented it so thoroughly. But again, stay there where you are one of the only Westerners and I think you will be happy and have plenty of women to choose from...no need to come back to the States at all.
Not really. I was just trying to have a nice dinner with her and talk to her about the country. I thought it would be fun to help out somebody new here, because I know how hard it is when you first come out here, maybe give her some tips and show her around.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
! Don't hold back, us masculine, machine-like, American women can take it! 
