Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Run! DO NOT WALK - RUN! To your human resources manager and your direct supervisor and tell them exactly what you've said here. If you do not, be prepared to find yourself on the ugly end of an harrassment suit. And out of a job in this impossible economy.
everyone knows shes whacked out. what i want to be able to do here is change my reaction to her which has been either to clam up or get angry with her
i want to be stop being so influenced and controlled by her anger and just stop being so affected by it
all she does is make emotional threats. i don't think she actually makes the accusations but she wants and craves attention on the 24/7. if this woman is left alone in an office for more than 3 minutes she starts inventing drama and calling attention to herself
Have you thought about a meeting with the three of you..your supervisor...yourself and this woman.
Tell her she's crossing your boundaries past work related topics and if she doesn't stop, you'll take it a step further.. Your not obligated to discuss anything other than work related issues, make it clear.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rlrl
anyone can claim they were harassed but getting proof is another matter
i think she is trying to entrap me by snaring me into a sexual relationship (which i have never done on the job and would never do cause the risks with ANYONE would be too high) and then yelling harrassment if i left (she has somewhat of a rapport with the boss but my immediate supv suggested that she stop goiing to him for everything) thereby trapping me into a harassment case
do you see what i am trying to say? her moves are calculated and she is furious i can see the game and will not play
and i have no interest in her anyway. i know we are human and we get feelings for the opposite sex coworkers even tho we're not supposed to but I have no interest anyway
no need for a meeting. my supv knows the score and he has spoken to her and she didn't like it but she does stop her shenanigans (the fact that she stopped is proof that she knew what she was doing)
she always starts with "how are YOU", then expects me to talk first when i have nothing to say to her, then she either mumbles something (to get me to ask her "what did you say?" to start a conversation over) or will suddenly tell me to pulllrank on a co-worker(cause she's mad at me for not talking to her)
if i have to supervise her soon this business with "you don't talk to me i say hello to you but you don't say hello to me" will continue to be an issue and she will have to find some way to accept it
There's no obligation to say hello or any other exchange other than a work issue. Look her right in the eye and tell her... the two of you are going to have a problem unless she accepts it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rlrl
no need for a meeting. my supv knows the score and he has spoken to her and she didn't like it but she does stop her shenanigans (the fact that she stopped is proof that she knew what she was doing)
she always starts with "how are YOU", then expects me to talk first when i have nothing to say to her, then she either mumbles something (to get me to ask her "what did you say?" to start a conversation over) or will suddenly tell me to pulllrank on a co-worker(cause she's mad at me for not talking to her)
if i have to supervise her soon this business with "you don't talk to me i say hello to you but you don't say hello to me" will continue to be an issue and she will have to find some way to accept it
true. problem is, she wants chit chat so she can steer it into more personal territory or if she can't get anything personal out of me she will try to get me to write her a letter of rec for her and i will not do it. and i'm concerned if i won't do it she will tattle on me and cause the boss to tell me to do it or else...
frankly i see no evidence of any competence on her part for me to write her such a letter of ref. i did it for another student because he is a fine person, motivated and knows how to make good conversation(yes i do engage in small talk). i have supervised pretty girls, not so pretty girls, guys, and i would write letters for any of them because they never made emotional threats to me or have been inappropriate to me
Write her a letter of recommendation.... ha..does that mean she's seeking employment elsewhere.. I'd be all over that, but I wouldn't lie either, keep it simple.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rlrl
true. problem is, she wants chit chat so she can steer it into more personal territory or if she can't get anything personal out of me she will try to get me to write her a letter of rec for her and i will not do it. and i'm concerned if i won't do it she will tattle on me and cause the boss to tell me to do it or else...
frankly i see no evidence of any competence on her part for me to write her such a letter of ref. i did it for another student because he is a fine person, motivated and knows how to make good conversation(yes i do engage in small talk). i have supervised pretty girls, not so pretty girls, guys, and i would write letters for any of them because they never made emotional threats to me or have been inappropriate to me
i don't see why my immediate supervisor can't do it for her--she has worked closer with him (lucky him) than i have and is more familiar with her work. to me her only work consists of whoring herself socially to get a man (excuse me ANY man, that is)
That's as good an excuse as any, tell her exactly what you just said here.
Minus the whoring part of coarse.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rlrl
to get into grad school for a social work degree
i don't see why my immediate supervisor can't do it for her--she has worked closer with him (lucky him) than i have and is more familiar with her work. to me her only work consists of whoring herself socially to get a man (excuse me ANY man, that is)
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
at my company
