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Many years ago I lost a young wife who I thought I could never live without. To me she was the proverbial trophy wife. I almost let depression get to me to the point of actualy thinking about suicide. She just walked out one night while I was asleep to join the more partying crowd and never came back.
I started drinking heavy and feeling like life was over. I was a mess for a year or more. Didn't care if I lived or died. Did some stupid stuff that probably should have got me killed. Especialy in cars. I didn't want to hurt anyone else but I didn't care if I got hurt. Lost a good job because I didn't see any good reason to go to work anymore.
I was killing myself with self pity, grieving, and giving up on life.
Then one night I realized that I WAS STILL YOUNG and I could still have a life. It was up to me to change my outlook on things because the past was over and there was still a future.
I got another job and worked it for 30 years. I remarried and we had 6 kids. We have our own home. My wife loves me and we will be together untill one of us dies. We have 7 grandkids.
Life has been good after all. Sure am glad I didn't give up and let something I couldn't control cost me all the good times since then.
I still think about her sometimes, I will admit that. I still wonder why she left me. I just wanted a family and a future with her and worked to try to make it come true.
But it actualy worked out for the best. I would never have met the wonderful woman I am married to. I wouldn't have the family I have now.
She left in May of 1971. I was 23 yrs old.
Now I'm 63 yrs old and the wife and I have been together for over 30 years.
We have had a good life and we are happry.
Don't turn to drugs or alcohol to drown your sorrow. Those things are just crutches that will eventualy stop supporting you and make things worse.
And remember one thing.
YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
And you can't turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.
I decided to wind it up again and look to the future instead of the past.
The tick tock of lifes clock has been good to me since then and it is still ticking.
I am so glad I didn't let it wind down.
Don't let hard bumps in lifes road make you wreck.
Look ahead and drive on. You just might end up at the destination you are looking for.
Many years ago I lost a young wife who I thought I could never live without. To me she was the proverbial trophy wife. I almost let depression get to me to the point of actualy thinking about suicide. She just walked out one night while I was asleep to join the more partying crowd and never came back.
I started drinking heavy and feeling like life was over. I was a mess for a year or more. Didn't care if I lived or died. Did some stupid stuff that probably should have got me killed. Especialy in cars. I didn't want to hurt anyone else but I didn't care if I got hurt. Lost a good job because I didn't see any good reason to go to work anymore.
I was killing myself with self pity, grieving, and giving up on life.
Then one night I realized that I WAS STILL YOUNG and I could still have a life. It was up to me to change my outlook on things because the past was over and there was still a future.
I got another job and worked it for 30 years. I remarried and we had 6 kids. We have our own home. My wife loves me and we will be together untill one of us dies. We have 7 grandkids.
Life has been good after all. Sure am glad I didn't give up and let something I couldn't control cost me all the good times since then.
I still think about her sometimes, I will admit that. I still wonder why she left me. I just wanted a family and a future with her and worked to try to make it come true.
But it actualy worked out for the best. I would never have met the wonderful woman I am married to. I wouldn't have the family I have now.
She left in May of 1971. I was 23 yrs old.
Now I'm 63 yrs old and the wife and I have been together for over 30 years.
We have had a good life and we are happry.
Don't turn to drugs or alcohol to drown your sorrow. Those things are just crutches that will eventualy stop supporting you and make things worse.
And remember one thing.
YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
And you can't turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.
I decided to wind it up again and look to the future instead of the past.
The tick tock of lifes clock has been good to me since then and it is still ticking.
I am so glad I didn't let it wind down.
Don't let hard bumps in lifes road make you wreck.
Look ahead and drive on. You just might end up at the destination you are looking for.
This is important..the part about "something he couldn't control" is the key onegreatnurse....it's like a team that loses a game on a last second lucky shot from the other team...you tried your best and that's all you can do...you have no control over the outcome of that game...but the experience will help you to understand how to play the next game.
I sure hope this post is a tongue in cheek humor 'cuse it's scary if it's not!
The very best medicine for a broken heart is to stay as busy as you can then relax and meditate to find your center again. All part of moving on........
That and trust your faith to help heal you.
Actually, as a nurse, I am constantly passing out medication to people like it's candy. It seems as if everyone is on something just to deal with everyday life. As much as I hate pill popping just for the sake of pill popping, when I realized this relationship was coming to an end, I was already overwhelmed and grieving, and trying really hard to get my ADHD and depression/grief under control, and I finally gave in and agreed to take medication. It's like a diabetic trying to avoid insulin, the body just isn't going to produce it so you can only cheat nature for so long before complications arise. It is the same with neurotransmitters in the brain.
I started taking Wellbutrin for the depression and Neurontin as a mood stabilizer a few weeks ago. I know there are some minor chemical imbalances causing some of my issues. Don't get me wrong, I am a high functioning adult with ADHD and a mild form of bipolar disorder who has been able to manage solely with coping mechanisms that I have developed for myself for many many years, but I have reached a point where, after all that I've been through, I finally couldn't cope on my own anymore, and felt that I needed the aid of a pharmaceutical, even if it's just temporary. Believe me, it's the last thing I wanted to do.
I was given the prescription for a mild form of Xanax many many months ago as a "just in case", and last night it was a million degrees in my house, my a/c isn't in the window yet, there was a loud thunderstorm outside, and I was really grieving. I tried everything but blessed, glorious sleep which would have enabled me to escape my reality at least for a short period of time would not come. I finally gave up and took a Xanax. Truthfully, I don't think it even helped, and I took a second dose....nothing...I think sheer exhaustion just finally allowed me to have at least a few hours of respite....
This is important..the part about "something he couldn't control" is the key onegreatnurse....it's like a team that loses a game on a last second lucky shot from the other team...you tried your best and that's all you can do...you have no control over the outcome of that game...but the experience will help you to understand how to play the next game.
I know this on an intellectual level. I can't make someone love me, nor would I want to. I cannot control another person's feelings, and I'm sure everyone understands the feelings of helplessness and frustration this causes. I know I have to deal with the grief and sadness, it's feels almost like a death, and I know I will move on eventually because what else can I do? But right now, my heart actually physically hurts so much, it's like a pain right in the middle of my chest, and I can't even get past that part right now....I'm trying to climb out of the hole, so to speak, but I have a long way to go...hell I can't even stop crying yet let alone move on...
Many years ago I lost a young wife who I thought I could never live without. To me she was the proverbial trophy wife. I almost let depression get to me to the point of actualy thinking about suicide. She just walked out one night while I was asleep to join the more partying crowd and never came back.
I started drinking heavy and feeling like life was over. I was a mess for a year or more. Didn't care if I lived or died. Did some stupid stuff that probably should have got me killed. Especialy in cars. I didn't want to hurt anyone else but I didn't care if I got hurt. Lost a good job because I didn't see any good reason to go to work anymore.
I was killing myself with self pity, grieving, and giving up on life.
Then one night I realized that I WAS STILL YOUNG and I could still have a life. It was up to me to change my outlook on things because the past was over and there was still a future.
I got another job and worked it for 30 years. I remarried and we had 6 kids. We have our own home. My wife loves me and we will be together untill one of us dies. We have 7 grandkids.
Life has been good after all. Sure am glad I didn't give up and let something I couldn't control cost me all the good times since then.
I still think about her sometimes, I will admit that. I still wonder why she left me. I just wanted a family and a future with her and worked to try to make it come true.
But it actualy worked out for the best. I would never have met the wonderful woman I am married to. I wouldn't have the family I have now.
She left in May of 1971. I was 23 yrs old.
Now I'm 63 yrs old and the wife and I have been together for over 30 years.
We have had a good life and we are happry.
Don't turn to drugs or alcohol to drown your sorrow. Those things are just crutches that will eventualy stop supporting you and make things worse.
And remember one thing.
YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
And you can't turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.
I decided to wind it up again and look to the future instead of the past.
The tick tock of lifes clock has been good to me since then and it is still ticking.
I am so glad I didn't let it wind down.
Don't let hard bumps in lifes road make you wreck.
Look ahead and drive on. You just might end up at the destination you are looking for.
Very wise words from undoubtedly a wise man who has done a lot of living. Thank you for sharing your story.
And I know turning to drugs and alcohol isn't the answer, but I will tell you honestly that I am using medication right now because I'm beyond the point of coping by myself, but it is under the guidance of a physician with careful monitoring, and I would never let it get out of hand, but sometimes we all need a little help, temporarily speaking. I would never abuse them in any way.
There's just only so much a person can take sometimes before they are incapable of remaining strong anymore...
I know this on an intellectual level. I can't make someone love me, nor would I want to. I cannot control another person's feelings, and I'm sure everyone understands the feelings of helplessness and frustration this causes. I know I have to deal with the grief and sadness, it's feels almost like a death, and I know I will move on eventually because what else can I do? But right now, my heart actually physically hurts so much, it's like a pain right in the middle of my chest, and I can't even get past that part right now....I'm trying to climb out of the hole, so to speak, but I have a long way to go...hell I can't even stop crying yet let alone move on...
Sorry to hear of your heartbreak. I think what you are feeling is perfectly normal when a relationship ends. None of us has the solution to stop the pain immediately. Letting yourself feel that pain, grieve and cry is healthy and IMO part of the healing process. Drugs, alcohol, destructive behaviors are bandaids and will ultimately not help you heal. They are actually likely to leave you worse off.
For the short-term, I'd let myself cry, I'd try to sleep it off, make sure you're eating right & drinking a lot (sounds silly but our grief contributes to poor eating & sleeping habits which exacerbate how we feel). I'd talk to close friends & family, I'd look for healthy positive distractions like exercise, shopping, upbeat music, comedies & TVSG threads. I would personally stay away from anything that doesn't elevate my mood; no sad songs, no sad movies or books.
Every day that goes by you'll cry less and hurt less. Hope that day comes sooner rather than later for you ...
Many years ago I lost a young wife who I thought I could never live without. To me she was the proverbial trophy wife. I almost let depression get to me to the point of actualy thinking about suicide. She just walked out one night while I was asleep to join the more partying crowd and never came back.
I started drinking heavy and feeling like life was over. I was a mess for a year or more. Didn't care if I lived or died. Did some stupid stuff that probably should have got me killed. Especialy in cars. I didn't want to hurt anyone else but I didn't care if I got hurt. Lost a good job because I didn't see any good reason to go to work anymore.
I was killing myself with self pity, grieving, and giving up on life.
Then one night I realized that I WAS STILL YOUNG and I could still have a life. It was up to me to change my outlook on things because the past was over and there was still a future.
I got another job and worked it for 30 years. I remarried and we had 6 kids. We have our own home. My wife loves me and we will be together untill one of us dies. We have 7 grandkids.
Life has been good after all. Sure am glad I didn't give up and let something I couldn't control cost me all the good times since then.
I still think about her sometimes, I will admit that. I still wonder why she left me. I just wanted a family and a future with her and worked to try to make it come true.
But it actualy worked out for the best. I would never have met the wonderful woman I am married to. I wouldn't have the family I have now.
She left in May of 1971. I was 23 yrs old.
Now I'm 63 yrs old and the wife and I have been together for over 30 years.
We have had a good life and we are happry.
Don't turn to drugs or alcohol to drown your sorrow. Those things are just crutches that will eventualy stop supporting you and make things worse.
And remember one thing.
YOU ARE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
And you can't turn back the clock. But you can wind it up again.
I decided to wind it up again and look to the future instead of the past.
The tick tock of lifes clock has been good to me since then and it is still ticking.
I am so glad I didn't let it wind down.
Don't let hard bumps in lifes road make you wreck.
Look ahead and drive on. You just might end up at the destination you are looking for.
+1, I tried to rep you, but I'm all out. Lot's of good points, including the "you are your own best friend".
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. I would personally stay away from anything that doesn't elevate my mood; no sad songs, no sad movies or books.
