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Aren't teenage boys just as easy? Or are we expecting bad behavior from them?
I totally agree its always blamed on the girls. if a girl gets pregnant she is branded the slag the fool every nasty name but the boys get off scot free with the lables that are put on the girls..
However i do agree that teens are to easy these days and it is a big worry for parents. The reason.... their is prob alot of reasons but if u find a real answer to correct it let me know.
Sometimes you have to look closer at these "intact" families. A daughter that doesn't have a solid relationship with her father in which she feels loved unconditionally and worthy, is going to go out into the streets to get a sense of acceptance. Happens all the time. The father remains in the home and that home is pronounced intact, but the guy has checked out emotionally on his family and is not present for them.
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Originally Posted by Urban Sasquatch
I think this is an excellent post and an excellent point. True, it's only ONE facet of the overall deal, but our society likes to pretend that men are nothing more than sperm donors rather than valuable contributors to the healthy, balanced upbringing of children, both male and female.
I'm sure some people will roll their eyes at this, and sure it's daytime trash television but there's still some truth to it.
Years ago I was watching an episode of Jenny Jones which was on a public television while I was waiting for a ride. The episode was titled I'm Afraid of my Daughter and was about single mothers who were raising problem daughters.
A couple of these mothers were physically smaller than their daughters but the rest (3 or 4 of them) were definitely not, nor in bad physical shape and thereby helpless. The bottom line was that these girls were bad girls and their mothers were either out-and-out afraid of them OR at least physically intimidated OR simply incapable of handling them, at wit's end.
The show went on and I have to say, these were troubled kids, full of themselves yet brimming with obvious esteem issues, basically just a lot of posing and bad attitude and irresponsibility.
At one point while she had them facing forward, Jenny said "We have a surprise for these girls today..." and behind them two military Drill Instructors came out, a woman and a man. The woman, like many female DI's, was smaller in stature, not tiny but not large either, and full of attitude herself. It's not all of them but it's typical of most of them I met during 22 years. The man was good-sized but far from huge.
As Jenny was still talking the woman DI came around the line of girls and jumped into one girl's face on the end, began screaming at her. The girl was startled, of course; anyone jumps when someone leaps out and screams BOO! However, in about two seconds she was standing up herself, screaming back in the female DI's face just as loudly as the DI was screaming.
Clearly she did NOT care.
Then the man entered the picture. And argue against it all you want, there was a difference.
First, the female DI moved down the line, still screaming, and every single girl got back in her face.
Back at the end where the man was, however, he simply stepped forward. The girl got in his face and I couldn't hear him but could read as his lips, the only part of his expression moving, said "Sit down. Now." Other than that he only stepped close to her, and she most definitely did back down, sitting and leaning back, her expression wide-eyed.
The male DI, with all the screaming going on down at the other end, leaned down and spoke in this girl's ear. We couldn't hear a single word of it, but she began to cry and sat still the entire time.
One by one he moved down the line; each girl was bawling openly as he stepped away. He never raised his voice a single time nor did he put on a mean expression, only forceful.
These girls, each and every one, lacked a Daddy figure in her life, plain and simple.
Sadly, this isn't saying that men are the answer; there are plenty of bad men out there who wouldn't be worth a damn even if they were around, and possibly even worse. However it makes one stop and consider the disdain and/or vilification men in general receive when it comes to their contributions to child-rearing, wonder whether it hasn't been OVER-played until the removal is causing more detriment than good.
Totally agree. I'm affiliated with programs dealing with troubled families, girls, etc. and the girls all come from fatherless homes or homes where a male is present but he's not a positive influence. Not to mention the mother who brings countless men around her daughter and engage in sexual acts in their presence. These girls do not respect their mothers because they feel it's her fault their father isn't around and blame her lack of judgment for their emotional pain and what's worse is that in most cases its a generation of the same behavior, meaning these girls will more often times than not end up getting pregnant and raising fatherless kids and the cycle just goes on and on.
These girls are really hurting inside and for adults to write them off as 'easy' and 'hot in the pants' yes all those things are accurate in describing their behavior but there's an underlining issue as to why these girls are that way and that's the real issue no one wants to take the time to address. Instead of mothers telling their sons those girls are bad news etc. let them know that due to those girls not having a positive male role model in their lives, they're looking for validation and love from boys like you. That will show sons the real importance of being a father and the responsibilities a man has to his family.
It's frightening how EASY it can be to fix something even a little bit; "frightening" because so often it's skipped or glossed over.
At my son's daycare I try to get there relatively early in the afternoon (between 1630 and 1700) to beat some of the worst traffic but I linger for about 30 minutes typically so he can play with his friends a bit longer. We live in the country where my son is without peers a large percentage of the time.
Anyway, for some reason the kids flock to me, so often I sit down and play with a few of them.
About six months back a problem boy showed up, physically ahead of the others despite being younger, and very forceful and ill-tempered, constantly pushing other kids down, hitting and very little verbal communication at all other than "NO!"
One day I sat down and was reading to some other kids and this little boy came over, wanted to sit in too. The other kids weren't letting him in so I made room right beside me and read to all of them. When the book was done they drifted off but he got up, ran to the shelf and got another, brought it back and asked me to read to him again, so I did.
I was in no particular hurry and my own son was busy playing elsewhere, so I went through five or six books with this kid. Since then he talks to me, and the teachers have told me that a couple of talkings-to I've given him regarding behaviour have really stuck. His verbal communication has skyrocketed, and all from a few kind words and a little interatction when I show up in the afternoon. I'm talking a half hour or so.
I was there one day when his mother, a hot little number who is quite aware of herself, was told about her son hitting other children. She responded "Well, you know boys are rougher than girls," and she took him and left.
I talked to him about hitting (something I know the teachers were already doing) and the hitting vanished. I don't think I have some magical touch, I just think I earned a little trust AND this little guy needed a positive male figure SOMEWHERE in his life, even if only for a few minutes.
It's frightening how EASY it can be to fix something even a little bit; "frightening" because so often it's skipped or glossed over.
At my son's daycare I try to get there relatively early in the afternoon (between 1630 and 1700) to beat some of the worst traffic but I linger for about 30 minutes typically so he can play with his friends a bit longer. We live in the country where my son is without peers a large percentage of the time.
Anyway, for some reason the kids flock to me, so often I sit down and play with a few of them.
About six months back a problem boy showed up, physically ahead of the others despite being younger, and very forceful and ill-tempered, constantly pushing other kids down, hitting and very little verbal communication at all other than "NO!"
One day I sat down and was reading to some other kids and this little boy came over, wanted to sit in too. The other kids weren't letting him in so I made room right beside me and read to all of them. When the book was done they drifted off but he got up, ran to the shelf and got another, brought it back and asked me to read to him again, so I did.
I was in no particular hurry and my own son was busy playing elsewhere, so I went through five or six books with this kid. Since then he talks to me, and the teachers have told me that a couple of talkings-to I've given him regarding behaviour have really stuck. His verbal communication has skyrocketed, and all from a few kind words and a little interatction when I show up in the afternoon. I'm talking a half hour or so.
I was there one day when his mother, a hot little number who is quite aware of herself, was told about her son hitting other children. She responded "Well, you know boys are rougher than girls," and she took him and left.
I talked to him about hitting (something I know the teachers were already doing) and the hitting vanished. I don't think I have some magical touch, I just think I earned a little trust AND this little guy needed a positive male figure SOMEWHERE in his life, even if only for a few minutes.
People kill me, they really do.
You sound like a good guy. Thank you for "manning up" and doing that.
I think the real question is that as long as the teenage girls aren't getting pregnant and making babies and as long as they aren't getting or spreading STD's, are promiscuous girls really a problem? I'm talking societally here, not religiously. Obviously if it's against your religion to have sex before marriage, then it's a problem whether or not you're a teen girl.
Can you honestly say it isn't a problem? Promiscuous girls are having babies, there is no way they are not going to continue having babies. In the end it costs the tax payers for special education facilities. The parents of these kids are not the only one's who end up paying. In the past religious beliefs haven't made a big difference either. No adult supervision, or improper adult supervision makes a difference. You can't let a teenager 'raise themselves'. Parents that haven't learned to say "no" and mean it when kids are young will find out that when the child reaches his/her teen years, the word "no" causes a fight the parents can't win.
I'd say the internet. I used to work at a public library and the kids were always on the computers. the internet always floods these kids screens with porn at every chance they could. there's no blocking the pop up porn that would come through. then there's all the music that is damn near pornographic. I remember a time when swearing on a record was rarity.
Can you honestly say it isn't a problem? Promiscuous girls are having babies, there is no way they are not going to continue having babies. In the end it costs the tax payers for special education facilities. The parents of these kids are not the only one's who end up paying. In the past religious beliefs haven't made a big difference either. No adult supervision, or improper adult supervision makes a difference. You can't let a teenager 'raise themselves'. Parents that haven't learned to say "no" and mean it when kids are young will find out that when the child reaches his/her teen years, the word "no" causes a fight the parents can't win.
It's not just 'promiscuous' girls but teenage girls period and I don't want to heavily talk about Religion but that can be apart of the problem as well. And I say that because I think of Sara Palin and her daughter. She refused to acknowledge sex to her daughter due to Religious beliefs and look what ends up happening, she gets pregnant. Sex is not something that can be ignored regardless of the household or environment children are being raised in. Parents have to start being realistic about what's going on and teach their kids accordingly. As much as you want to believe lil so and so will not engage in such behavior they've either done it already, been propositioned, or curious and it's best the parents get to them before they find it out for themselves which never ends well.
Some recent research on the subject of sex perception and family development was recently published; See this National Journal piece (http://www.nationaljournal.com/njmagazine/print_friendly.php?ID=st_20100501_5904 - broken link).
As it turns out, there are some profound differences in this area that have enormous repercussions.
What if these teenage girls that are having sex are just horny? Why is it that guys can be horny and have sex while girls can't?
Yeah, it's just that simple. Golly, I feel so STUPID now, having wasted all these words and thoughts on something that was just staring me in the face all along!
I think you missed the point somewhere along the line. Sex, in and of itself, isn't the entirety of the problem, especially given that it's a fact of life and will always be present. No one is denying that teens have always either sought out sex as best they could either successfully or unsuccessfully, or have had sex in varying degrees, or that they need to be careful when they have sex. Some seem to insist that kids have the maturity to handle something as pleasurable-yet-dangerous as sex, but other than that, there's a general concensus regarding SEX.
Here, my rephrasing of the original question (why are teenage girls so easy these days) which digs at the real heart of the issue, the real question-beneath-the-question:
Why are children, PRE-teens even, let alone the large numbers of teens doing it these days, giving bj's on school buses, posting themselves without clothing on the internet, posting themselves having sex on the internet, sexting and sharing pictures of themselves on cell phones, etc, etc, etc?
You can see here it's not a question of sex, but of sexual CONDUCT and the potential ramifications.
Tell me, mintleif, do you reckon the sum of the explanation for the drop in AGE of pregnancies, from teen down into the pre-teen areas (I recall when an eleven-year-old girl who got pregnant, back when I was still a kid myself, actually made the news; today it's passe, even if tragic), let alone the sheer number of them is JUST because kids are horny and acting out on their feelings and impulses?
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Why are teenage girls so easy these days?
