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Old 05-29-2010, 02:55 PM
 
19,059 posts, read 23,561,890 times
Reputation: 13468

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Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalx View Post
Well women do.
Well, I would have those expectations if we hit the lottery. Even then, I would still work on something.

Quote:
Don't think so short term. I didn't say all women expect to marry then the next day stop working. I said they expect to have the option available to them, especially after having a child. If she is to have the option then the man has to work.
I think you are the one thinking short term and, again, inappropriately lumping all women into one pot. The issues are stratified and vary depending on class. A professional woman is less likely to want take more than 6 mo- 1 yr for extended maternity. According to census, most professional women only take 3 mo. Why? Because they have careers and these are the women we're speaking of in this thread. It's not as if non-career women are making more money than their career driven husbands. Professionals will have these careers with the presence or lack of presence of a mate. So, it makes absolutely no sense to assert these women, the one's who have busted their arses obtaining successful careers, have not working in mind.

The women you are thinking of are not the women under question in this thread.

Quote:
Women say these things. I'm just the messenger.
Yes, the women in your social circles. Believe me when I say they are not the same women in my circles.

Quote:
Don't be obtuse.
Can you be any more generic. Somebody disagrees with you, and they're being obtuse lol. Lame.

Quote:
You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about. Women expect for the man to treat her special. Take off his coat if she is cold, even if it means he is cold. If they are both worn out but someone HAS to drive (or do whatever), the man is expected to do it.
Please, both genders are treated special in a variety of ways. Frankly, I'd take the lending of a jacket and sitting on my arse driving the car any day over having to shred my insides out to bear my dh's children. The special treatment goes both ways.

Quote:
Women might not expect it in a human sort if way, and some with bad experiences in the past or some who have been taught to be doubtful might initially feel offended, but in a romantic sort of way they do expect special treatment. Oh they are "supposed to" treat him special, and they do, over other people, but they don't give him preferential treatment. Women receive preferential treatment. But that's ok. The flipside is the right to lead.
Again, what a bunch of baloney. If you find someone willing to follow you, have a good time. You don't have any rights to lead, tho. At most, it will be a choice your woman makes.

Quote:
If you don't ever feel emasculated then I don't see how you can think you know what emasculated men feel.
This will be a problem some men face. Men that garner their worth by assuming to have more work value than their female counterparts are going to limit their options, which isn't a big deal. You want a woman that earns less than you, I'm sure you'll find her.
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Old 05-29-2010, 02:59 PM
 
Location: So Cal
46,449 posts, read 45,605,459 times
Reputation: 47403
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
A real man?

To me, a real man doesn't have to conform or put definitions on what makes him a 'real man.' He doesn't fit a mold or conform to other people's expectations because he's afraid of what they think.

He doesn't rely on archaic role playing to define his place in the world or prefer others be kept down so he can feel better about himself.
Good post.

I've never understood any of this real man, real woman stuff.

People should handle business and not put f ing labels on it.

Chris Rock says it best in routine where he talks about people bragging about not going to jail and taking care of their kids.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO.
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Old 05-29-2010, 03:09 PM
 
19,059 posts, read 23,561,890 times
Reputation: 13468
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalx View Post
A family that has a $75,000 income can survive quite easily.I did.
You did as a single person. Try being married with all the responsibilities that goes along with it. Let me ask again, are you unemployed? If you were married, how in the world would that work if your spouse wasn't working?

Quote:
You aren't reading. Not really READING. Look at my first replies.
Any way, depends where you are, I guess. I'm in that income bracket (more really) and I'm not finding it terribly easy. Taxes take a good chunk, the mortgage, utilities, family that needs help, issues that arise (plumbing, cars, etc). It doesn't go that far.

Also, keep in mind that we are living into our 80s these days and some of us might easily live longer (my grandma is 92). I don't know what you're banking in retirement and the 401k, but it isn't chump change in my household. My dh's job alone will be going into the bank for savings, kids college, retirement, etc. Both of my parents have nest eggs, but they're still working in their 70s. Maybe 75k is a lot in some parts of the country, but that's not what I'm finding up here. And we bought cheap.
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Old 05-29-2010, 03:13 PM
 
19,059 posts, read 23,561,890 times
Reputation: 13468
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
75k a yr in So Cal will not provide for a family all that easily. You aren't owning a home, and probably driving older cars, and not living in the best of areas.

Note I said family, not a single person or a couple with no children.

Pretty sad, but you need six figures here in order to do it properly.
It's not easy as a couple either. And we don't go anywhere. I'm trying to budget for our camping trip, but stuff comes up. One of our car's was hit...$500 deductible. The heater started to get grumpy, another $500. We have two weddings, a graduation, and a baby shower this summer. I can all but forget about my camping trip.
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Old 05-29-2010, 03:17 PM
 
Location: So Cal
46,449 posts, read 45,605,459 times
Reputation: 47403
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
It's not easy as a couple either. And we don't go anywhere. I'm trying to budget for our camping trip, but stuff comes up. One of our car's was hit...$500 deductible. The heater started to get grumpy, another $500. We have two weddings, a graduation, and a baby shower this summer. I can all but forget about my camping trip.
I was joking around at work about every time something comes up, bam, 500 bucks easily.

Funny how mention that figure.
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Old 05-29-2010, 03:20 PM
 
19,059 posts, read 23,561,890 times
Reputation: 13468
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
I was joking around at work about every time something comes up, bam, 500 bucks easily.

Funny how mention that figure.
I was saying the same thing at work this week. What's with the $500? Damn. Eh, maybe we should play a pick 3. lol
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Old 05-29-2010, 03:21 PM
 
Location: So Cal
46,449 posts, read 45,605,459 times
Reputation: 47403
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
It's not easy as a couple either. And we don't go anywhere. I'm trying to budget for our camping trip, but stuff comes up. One of our car's was hit...$500 deductible. The heater started to get grumpy, another $500. We have two weddings, a graduation, and a baby shower this summer. I can all but forget about my camping trip.
We're a couple too and we're upwards of the 75k figure as well, and we bought our condo 12 yrs ago when the market was cheap, and it seems like we're always having to dip into the saving just to make ends meet.

I don't know how people with kids do it.
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Old 05-29-2010, 03:24 PM
 
Location: Houston, Texas
1,084 posts, read 1,462,164 times
Reputation: 499
Braunwyn, No offense but I have to really question your ability to provide any sort of factual answer on this. You aren't a man so you really can't understand what a manly instinct is like so being emasculated (made to be unmanly) is completely foreign to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
A real man?

To me, a real man doesn't have to conform or put definitions on what makes him a 'real man.' He doesn't fit a mold or conform to other people's expectations because he's afraid of what they think.

He doesn't rely on archaic role playing to define his place in the world or prefer others be kept down so he can feel better about himself.
The thing about things "archaic" is they tend to come back around. What you call "archaic" is in fact hard-wired. It takes hundreds of years, dozens of generations for something small to have an evolutionary impact. Something like making all human beings a blend of man and woman would take thousands. We are only into the (beginning of the) third generation after the start of the feminist independent movement. The "both sexes are the exact same thing except one has a penis and the other has a vagina" idea is completely false. Men and Women are different. Men and women are different. Say it with me, "Men and Women are different!" And women share quite a LOT with each other, emotionally speaking. Likewise for men. It will take a thousand years for both of us to evolve enough so the sexes are meaningless. We are still every bit as much man and woman at heart as our grandfathers and grandmothers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by JSizzle225 View Post
Well then consider me not a real man. Cuz I think the definition of a real man, is a person that was born with a penis.
You said it, not me.

Have you not heard the phrase "be a man" or "man up?" Do those not have any meaning for you? Are those phrases offensive to women?
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Old 05-29-2010, 03:29 PM
 
Location: Beautiful New England
2,412 posts, read 6,794,703 times
Reputation: 3067
Quote:
Originally Posted by smartalx View Post
Are those phrases offensive to women?
I don't know, but you most certainly are.
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Old 05-29-2010, 03:31 PM
 
19,059 posts, read 23,561,890 times
Reputation: 13468
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chowhound View Post
We're a couple too and we're upwards of the 75k figure as well, and we bought our condo 12 yrs ago when the market was cheap, and it seems like we're always having to dip into the saving just to make ends meet.

I don't know how people with kids do it.
We dip, too. And I don't know how people with kids do it either. It just happens, I guess. So yes, people can survive on the one income/75k, but what about the future? Maybe I'm just a worry wort.
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