Knowing your partner's libido is important, what are the reasons to wait until marriage to have sex? (virtual, witness)
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I have found that you can affirm someone's best qualities in the most honest possible fashion and it does not mean they will believe you if they have been taught consistently to believe otherwise.
Such a person will always tend to self-sabotage or sabotage the relationship in some way or other, often precisely BECAUSE you are getting closer and they can't trust / be vulnerable with someone in that regard because of, for example, too many fundamental betrayals in the past.
On one hand, you say that sex is a "profound/transcendent" connection with...another human being", while on the other hand, you say that you can "count on the fingers of one hand the 'transcendent sex'" you've had.
I don't think that EVERY time someone has sex -- even if in a committed relationship -- is necessarily looking for that 'transcendent connection' with the person they've having sex with.
And even if one does manage to have that kind of 'transcendent' sex, it doesn't mean that the relationship with necessarily become 'cemented'.
Unless, I misunderstood you...
It all comes down to marriage is not about sex. It is commitment to a relationship like no other. It requires compromise, love and affection, desire to please, forgiveness, and patience. The worth of a longtime marriage cannot be measured. A satisfying and loving sexual relationship is the result, cannot be a cause. Many people have long term committed relationship without marriage.
Sex, even great sex, on the other hand can be bought for, i dont know what the going rate is.
It all comes down to marriage is not about sex. It is commitment to a relationship like no other. It requires compromise, love and affection, desire to please, forgiveness, and patience. The worth of a longtime marriage cannot be measured. A satisfying and loving sexual relationship is the result, cannot be a cause. Many people have long term committed relationship without marriage.
Sex, even great sex, on the other hand can be bought for, i dont know what the going rate is.
Marriage is about sex, and trust, and commitment, and lots of other things - all of which deserve to be respected. Marginalizing the importance of sex is why marriage counselors are so busy.
Marriage is about sex, and trust, and commitment, and lots of other things - all of which deserve to be respected. Marginalizing the importance of sex is why marriage counselors are so busy.
...and, puting too much weight on the importance of sex is why divorce lawyers are so busy.
You're so defensive. He said marriage is about several factors, all of which are important.
How is stating a fact being 'defensive'?
It's been said that infidelity is the NUMBER ONE REASON for MOST divorces.
Gaffer said that marriage is about sex, trust and commitment.
How many people go to their divorce lawyers and say, "I want a divorce because I don't trust my spouse."? OR, "I want a divorce because my spouse isn't committed to me/the marriage"?
It's been said that infidelity is the NUMBER ONE REASON for MOST divorces.
Gaffer said that marriage is about sex, trust and commitment.
How many people go to their divorce lawyers and say, "I want a divorce because I don't trust my spouse."? OR, "I want a divorce because my spouse isn't committed to me/the marriage"?
I think the biggest reason for divorce is "irreconcilable differences," not infidelity. One spouse finally decides "I don't want to be married to this person anymore. I'm getting a divorce." The other spouse has no choice. If we had a divorce lawyer here, I'm sure that he/she would confirm that interpersonal conflict, excessive arguing, and lack of commitment lead to more divorces that infidelity, not that infidelity isn't a major cause.
In case anybody is interested, it is my opinion that sex is one of several major issues that couples need to agree on to have a successful marriage. They should also agree on their political outlooks, religious views, economic goals, whether to have children, and if so, how to raise them. Each couple may have other criteria that they consider important.
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