Men and Women retiring alone to a new city/state -- where will you go and why? (happy family, romantic)

[RiverBird]

Originally Posted by StealthRabbit

Tesaje, so I take it you're not flying out to Sheridan, WY for the tea-party this weekend
//www.city-data.com/forum/wyomi...y-weekend.html
""The Rally is sponsored by Wyoming Gun Owners, Wyoming10A & The Sheridan Tea Party.

We look forward to seeing you there!""

That's OK, I find it takes all kinds (including these) to keep from upsetting the whole applecart.

Having survived 28 yrs on the border w/ Portland, OR, I would love to breath the fresh air of WY (again) and not be hammered into the 'local' form of blindless submission. (which PDX PBS station claims is "Thinking") Ha, different strokes for different folks... I still support 'National propaganda Broadcasting', as I have for 35 yrs. I used to like the 'Winnie-the-Pooh' story hour, enroute to 7AM classes @ Aimless Community College (after a 10 hr night shift). Back in my Colorado days, so very long ago

Life goes on, and as you mentioned... We just get to 'deal-with-it'. Can't really escape in this life (at least not for long)

Admittedly I'm a bit tough on CA, as I had to work under some awful boastful managers from said place, had to endure 'excess' CA 'transferees' who got a free move to our facility, and kept their retained pay (~30% higher) for 2 yrs, then whined SO LOUD that they were gonna get dropped to our wages, that the company dropped our rankings and put the CA transplants on top (who were not good or even qualified workers). Went 7 yrs w/o a raise, after being ranked @ 90%, while being continually taunted by CA transplants for 'working too hard and making them look bad'. But the largest pain was dealing with the property value increases that came with fleeing CA $ (Which I will ALWAYS argue that the RE $ SHOULD have remained in CA to 'protect the west' from unreasonable values and taxes.)
Subsequent taxes have increased ~ 1000%, which costs me $750/ month (the rest of my life, anywhere it the western states) to welcome my CA neighbors.
My grandfather, father, and I have all been forced from our farms due to CA $$ raising taxes. Life is not fair, but it is not fun to spend many yrs working on building a farm (soils, barns, trees, fences, houses, wells...) only to be taxed out.

Oh, well, as said... deal w/ it. (interestingly, the loudest CA transplant whiner is still employed (the only one still remaining) while 22 of us 'locals' have been laid off, some for over 10 yrs now )

This is not endemic to CA. It is always the way, everywhere you go. The squeaking wheel gets the oil, or something along those lines. And the winner is...the most incompetent. That is why, like Live Content, best to live a modest life as a bottom line. You never know what life's gonna hand you.

[Umbria]

Originally Posted by StealthRabbit

Admittedly I'm a bit tough on CA, as I had to work under some awful boastful managers from said place, had to endure 'excess' CA 'transferees' who got a free move to our facility, and kept their retained pay (~30% higher) for 2 yrs, then whined SO LOUD that they were gonna get dropped to our wages, that the company dropped our rankings and put the CA transplants on top (who were not good or even qualified workers). Went 7 yrs w/o a raise, after being ranked @ 90%, while being continually taunted by CA transplants for 'working too hard and making them look bad'. But the largest pain was dealing with the property value increases that came with fleeing CA $ (Which I will ALWAYS argue that the RE $ SHOULD have remained in CA to 'protect the west' from unreasonable values and taxes.)
Subsequent taxes have increased ~ 1000%, which costs me $750/ month (the rest of my life, anywhere it the western states) to welcome my CA neighbors.
My grandfather, father, and I have all been forced from our farms due to CA $$ raising taxes. Life is not fair, but it is not fun to spend many yrs working on building a farm (soils, barns, trees, fences, houses, wells...) only to be taxed out.

Oh, well, as said... deal w/ it. (interestingly, the loudest CA transplant whiner is still employed (the only one still remaining) while 22 of us 'locals' have been laid off, some for over 10 yrs now )

This would be enough to pi** off anyone. It's that entitlement thing that seems to be so prevalent in certain cultures. I have a step sister (CA) that has been a since the day I met her - many moons ago. Her life's theory is to whine for what you want - and keep whining til you wear people down and get it. She is very happy to admit this - brags about it even.

It it the exact opposite of the way I was raised. Now she has 5 offspring that do the same thing. I must admit, she manages to get what she wants and puts no effort into it except the whining. Makes you wonder.

[StealthRabbit]

Originally Posted by MN2CO

...
It it the exact opposite of the way I was raised. ....

Oh yes, the price of being brought up as a 'prairie kid'.

That's OK, I don't have much use for the whiners either, tho the 'pay' thing kind-a-got-me (in the pocketbook). (as I venture off to join a Harvard grad at a potluck ). I OFTEN need an attitude adjustment a few times / day

[DeniseTaylor]

Hi

I've had similar ideas myself. Been looking for a place to migrate to that is less expensive, yet has the weather and things I like. I'm sure my tastes don't match yours but I do like the East Coast and in particular, the South East. I love the steamy, sleepy, Southern vibe and particularly love it because of it's history.

What I've done is looked for towns with Best Places to Live-type ratings and then going from there. So far, some places in Georgia and a couple of towns in West Florida appeal to me, cost-wise and amenity-wise.

I'm actually partial to a smaller town as I've been living in larger cities for awhile now. I do like the big city feel, as it's exciting and fast-paced, but as I get old, the sleepy, small-town vibe seems very appealing.

Now, being completely alone, I haven't really viewed that aspect closely as I still have my husband. But those areas would still appeal to me if I were solo. They're based on mutual interest and needs.

[RiverBird]

Originally Posted by DeniseTaylor

Hi

I've had similar ideas myself. Been looking for a place to migrate to that is less expensive, yet has the weather and things I like. I'm sure my tastes don't match yours but I do like the East Coast and in particular, the South East. I love the steamy, sleepy, Southern vibe and particularly love it because of it's history.

What I've done is looked for towns with Best Places to Live-type ratings and then going from there. So far, some places in Georgia and a couple of towns in West Florida appeal to me, cost-wise and amenity-wise.

I'm actually partial to a smaller town as I've been living in larger cities for awhile now. I do like the big city feel, as it's exciting and fast-paced, but as I get old, the sleepy, small-town vibe seems very appealing.

Now, being completely alone, I haven't really viewed that aspect closely as I still have my husband. But those areas would still appeal to me if I were solo. They're based on mutual interest and needs.

I'm enjoying reading the retirement books by Ernie Zelinski (Retire Happy Wild & Free)...it brings creativity and lightness into the "grave" issue of retiring on a shoestring. Here is a link that mentions a small Georgia town with low taxes:

The Retirement Cafe - Where to Retire

It's funny to read a lot of the experts' places to retire cheap. I happen to know that anywhere in NH has unbelievably high property taxes, even though they don't have a sales tax. I'd rather have the sales tax and live near close to a state with no sales tax. Property taxes are set in stone and they do not go down.

Also there is a lot of hype about retiring to college towns. I don't buy it. I live in a heavily concentrated college area and cannot afford all the "fine arts" stuff at $40 - $60 a ticket. Most of the lecutres are on esoteric things like "Cross Habitation of Species on the Boarder of Extinction and Other Parables." Although college towns are "rich" in culture, how much is apropo to your tastes. Of course a town has to have interesting things but community events are more interesting to me now, and here I was an art major in college....I also find that going on a purposeful excursion to a city for "culture" is more satistfying, maybe several times a year, and do I want to pay the price of living in an upscale place for rare occasions that I would indulge in the "culture"...just rambling, thinking out loud....

[karcon]

Hi, to all. Haven't posted in a while though do try to keep up. Special hello to Wisteria and Triciajeanne - love your posts and seeing what is going on. Main reason I haven't been on is that since my move to new home last year have found my spot. To those who didn't hear about this, spent the last few years looking (literally) everywhere outside FL and even the country. As life goes, ended up finding the perfect place (townhome) the next town over. Go figure. Have a new social life - actually now HAVE a social life - friends, and am seeing someone. Part-time job is still there, and I am I guess you can say content. Will I stay here forever. Not sure. But for now I feel settled. Kids are scattered from one side of the country to the other (Oregon to New Jersey) but they have their own lifes to live. Biggest new thing is I recently got back from a week in Scotland. My mother and all her family are from there and it was great to see the land of my family. Started on Ancestry dot com and have now connected/found and reconnected with family on both sides (mom/dad). I am discovering stories and relatives from my mom's side and it's been great. "Refound" my dad's Irish side and am going to a big family reunion in July. They still have them every year but haven't been since the 80's. Finding your spot is a process. You can feel discontent, look all over only to find it in your own backyard; or, miles and miles away. I guess the key is to keep an open mind. Like Forrest said, "Life is like a box of chocolates . . . . "

[RiverBird]

Originally Posted by karcon

Hi, to all. Haven't posted in a while though do try to keep up. Special hello to Wisteria and Triciajeanne - love your posts and seeing what is going on. Main reason I haven't been on is that since my move to new home last year have found my spot. To those who didn't hear about this, spent the last few years looking (literally) everywhere outside FL and even the country. As life goes, ended up finding the perfect place (townhome) the next town over. Go figure. Have a new social life - actually now HAVE a social life - friends, and am seeing someone. Part-time job is still there, and I am I guess you can say content. Will I stay here forever. Not sure. But for now I feel settled. Kids are scattered from one side of the country to the other (Oregon to New Jersey) but they have their own lifes to live. Biggest new thing is I recently got back from a week in Scotland. My mother and all her family are from there and it was great to see the land of my family. Started on Ancestry dot com and have now connected/found and reconnected with family on both sides (mom/dad). I am discovering stories and relatives from my mom's side and it's been great. "Refound" my dad's Irish side and am going to a big family reunion in July. They still have them every year but haven't been since the 80's. Finding your spot is a process. You can feel discontent, look all over only to find it in your own backyard; or, miles and miles away. I guess the key is to keep an open mind. Like Forrest said, "Life is like a box of chocolates . . . . "

I was wondering about you, missing your posts. It's great that youlre getting new friends and a new "someone"! About moving to the next town over...it's known that the antidote to a harmful plant is often close by, sometimes very close by. That must be the law of nature working for you. Other laws of nature require migration far away. Box of chocolates sounds lovely....

[mzfroggez]

Originally Posted by karcon

Hi, to all. Haven't posted in a while though do try to keep up. Special hello to Wisteria and Triciajeanne - love your posts and seeing what is going on. Main reason I haven't been on is that since my move to new home last year have found my spot. To those who didn't hear about this, spent the last few years looking (literally) everywhere outside FL and even the country. As life goes, ended up finding the perfect place (townhome) the next town over. Go figure. Have a new social life - actually now HAVE a social life - friends, and am seeing someone. Part-time job is still there, and I am I guess you can say content. Will I stay here forever. Not sure. But for now I feel settled. Kids are scattered from one side of the country to the other (Oregon to New Jersey) but they have their own lifes to live. Biggest new thing is I recently got back from a week in Scotland. My mother and all her family are from there and it was great to see the land of my family. Started on Ancestry dot com and have now connected/found and reconnected with family on both sides (mom/dad). I am discovering stories and relatives from my mom's side and it's been great. "Refound" my dad's Irish side and am going to a big family reunion in July. They still have them every year but haven't been since the 80's. Finding your spot is a process. You can feel discontent, look all over only to find it in your own backyard; or, miles and miles away. I guess the key is to keep an open mind. Like Forrest said, "Life is like a box of chocolates . . . . "

oh karcon, it is so cool to "find your niche/your place". I followed your posts on facebook about scotland and thought how incredibly cool to take the adventure you have been on. To "go home" in one sense and yet have found your "physical home" not far from where you started. Rather like Dorothy - and here you were, seeking counsel from the Wisteria of Oz when the answer truly was so close to home.
I wasn't here to see the beginning of all of this but it is cool to see each person finding their path, sometimes totally not where they expected.


Right now, it is the oddest thing - knowing that i am at the epilog of something old & known/the prelude of something not yet defined, a part of me envies those that have "arrived" already. But I like your "stay forever? not sure" There's been a lot of talk on here about the constant nature of change so it's good to consider that each thing we do is not necessarily the final decision.

I know for many that there is a real need in many ways to do what has to be done now with the hope that that IS the decision, the place. Initially, I felt I absolutely HAD to arrive at my destination - I have been dislocated for so long that all I could dream of was not packing up again and making decisions and pressure-driven moves/continued upheaval. I wanted a HOME, a hearth. I needed that. In most ways, I still do.

The funny thing for me is that somewhere in all of this, I think I have been stuck in the Bill Murray "Groundhog Day" movie - forced to repeat and repeat again and again until I "got" what I was supposed to be learning. For those who have seen the movie, I'll just say "BING!!!!!!!!!!!!" I think the lesson is starting to click.

I've made knee jerk decisions under pressure for so long - most of them which seem incredibly foolish. I finally acknowledged that I could not do everything by myself and that I could no longer allow myself to utilize the help of someone who I had to break all ties with. That was step one. And it's not easy because the physical proximity makes it something I must repeat again and again, each time finding my voice a bit stronger, a bit more resolute.

Because I knew I could not handle everything myself, I finally turned to other people for help, physical help-not financial, only to find that most are great with verbal encouragement ("you can do it") but pretty sparce on the "being there". In reality, that was actually a help because it made me evaluate my plans/my expectations of my life and what I was hoping for.

I realized that all of these detours , all of these false starts and stops have not been worthless. They have refined me/defined me in some ways. They have made me ask myself again and again, "what do you want? what do you expect? " it has really made me think, "it is your turn now. YOU make the decisions, based on you." And when one really starts to do that, it stretches you from how much of your life you do things based on external factors, and not on your own heart. I'm responsible for me and to me - and outside factors will not determine my course. Now the trick is truly discovering my own heart.

I have found a lot of things about myself here - what I can tolerate/what I can't or think I can't. I have realized that I'll need to test those assumptions now and see if they are really how I feel or just a momentary passing. i believe I could enjoy small town living but likely not a real conservative small town that is fairly insulated from everything and intends to remain that way. I realize that I need seasonal change and absolutely die if the sun always shines or never shines, or if it is always hot or too long cold. In short, I think I realize that I will not spend all my time in any one place. So that adds a whole 'nuther dynamic. and that's ok. Mostly, I have found that there are things you can love and not love about just anywhere and I know that right now I am appreciating the beauty in where I am but recognizing that once I leave, this is likely somewhere I'll never come back. And that too is ok.

But most importantly, I have stopped thinking in blocks of times. Living life with a commitment of always or even annual or even semesters. It has dawned on me that the many things that do force one to think that way have been temporarily lifted and yet I continue to think based on an old paradigm that no longer exists out of sheer habit and cultural norms.

I remind myself daily "the only person giving you a hard time just now is yourself......" . Actually , there are some others but only if I listen which I have ceased to do. Now the trick is to silence the inner critic.

So i finish the task at hand. I won't make my initial deadline but I'll come close and I will at least finish it. And I'll make some changes. Already, I have begun to celebrate each day. It has been all-together fun.

I am savoring the ending instead of rushing through it - being controlled by it. I have already requested an extension if necessary which gives me the energy to work harder toward not needing it but relaxing knowing it's there if i do. I figure that since the only commitment I truly have right now is to this ending with no complete picture of the beginning that awaits, then i shall savor these moments as the ritual, the milestones that they are. What a delight that this coincides with spring - rebirth, blossoming......growing.

I'd love to post somewhere the Rules for Being a Human Being. Maybe on my home page - I'll see if that works. Plus I have to find them in my stack of papers and maybe I will /maybe I won't - I am fairly sure they are tucked away in my "travel stuff" for constant re-reading when things get tough.

for now, karcon, congrats on your contentment. to each of the wanderers and seekers, the stories of "i've found it" are inspiring.

[susancruzs]

Hello, everyone! Glad to see all is well with the "searching or found it" group!

Things are fine here in NE Wisconsin, Spring is coming, and life is good. I've been doing things with the senior center plus helping out when they need some office work done. I go strictly on an as needed basis so no pressure there. I wanted something to do in the winter but did not want to work every day. It is a volunteer job but I don't have a problem with volunteering.

In May, there's a trip to Pella, Iowa for the Tulip Festival, in July a train/bus trip to NW Wisconsin (area I haven't seen yet) and fall is a longer trip to North Carolina!

I went back down to Illinois for my cousin's 80th birthday party and it always amazes me, the traffic, congestion, how built up it is and still more building on the way. I'm very happy living in a town of 12,000 and open spaces right nearby. I do have to drive 10 miles for a Menard's, Lowes or Walmart but over half of it is along Memorial Drive on the shore of Lake Michigan, with gorgeous views!

Just a quick check-in letting everyone know, life is good, I'm doing great and I read the posts to see how everyone else is doing! Great awesome group and positive experiences, even when there might be a setback or two! Keep going, gang!

[Different Drummer]

Search-View Property

Here's an idea...buy this gorgeous former B&B in lovely Clifton, Tenn.....5 women chipping in $40K each and it's yours! (Spare bedroom for guests?) I've been looking myself in Tennessee and this one caught my eye...