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In my experience, it is uncommon. My FIL had a younger "girlfriend" for over ten years who refused to do anything for him. He was close to her family as well. She said that was not her job. She did not even visit him in the hospital. She was a widow and, according to my FIL, many people in this older age group were done getting involved in another person's healthcare needs.
Your friends were blessed to have you.
Maddie, that’s awful about your Fil’s girlfriend. I can’t imagine not even visiting him in the hospital. It was funny but when the assisted living facility had to call an ambulance for my friend they would also call me and I would run over since I lived 5 minutes away. The paramedics always thought I was his wife because I knew his medications and health issues. I knew that because I took him to all his doctor appointments. They were surprised when I said I was just a friend.
My kids are home for the holiday and have been helping us to get items - heavy boxes of books, some furniture, etc - down the steps from our upper level. But we likely wouldn't have had all of that stuff up there in the first place if it hadn't been for us having kids and needing a hang out room for them.
I told my husband we better seize the moment while both kids are home to get rid of that stuff, otherwise we would be looking at hiring it done. That lit a fire under him.
It IS happening. Just Google "nursing home abuse" and you'll find sickening examples of the types of abuse seniors with no one to look out for them face and the astounding prevalence of it. The New York Times did an investigation (URL below) two years ago on this and, more to your point, why these abuses were not being made public.
While I have no doubt that nursing home abuse happens way more than it should, I know that headlines screaming about it about it draws the attention of people. No one seems interested in writing stories about nursing homes that do a good job in caring for their people because bad news draws people's attention more than good news does. It is an economic reality.
While I have no doubt that nursing home abuse happens way more than it should, I know that headlines screaming about it about it draws the attention of people. No one seems interested in writing stories about nursing homes that do a good job in caring for their people because bad news draws people's attention more than good news does. It is an economic reality.
Nursing homes that do a good job caring for its residents should not be newsworthy; they're supposed to do a good job. And the NYT article I cited points to the reality that abuses against nursing home seniors have been systematically hushed up, not screamed about in headlines. This is important for people without children to understand and be aware of when preparing for their future care needs.
While I have no doubt that nursing home abuse happens way more than it should, I know that headlines screaming about it about it draws the attention of people. No one seems interested in writing stories about nursing homes that do a good job in caring for their people because bad news draws people's attention more than good news does. It is an economic reality.
I have long ago come to terms with my situation. I am not triggered by others discussing their children. I am, however, a bit perplexed as to why people with children would feel that they are in a position to contribute to a thread SPECIFICALLY concerning childless seniors, and then to challenge us when we tell you you're not being helpful.
This thread reads "don't have kids" not "childless".
Nursing homes that do a good job caring for its residents should not be newsworthy; they're supposed to do a good job. And the NYT article I cited points to the reality that abuses against nursing home seniors have been systematically hushed up, not screamed about in headlines. This is important for people without children to understand and be aware of when preparing for their future care needs.
In a perfect world everyone does a great job as assigned. In the real world a little bit of friendliness goes a long way as generally only shortcomings are being pointed out. Short: you catch a lot with honey.
Years ago, Single, lived in a boarding house; retired women. 3/ 4 believe they looked after each other.
Negative, 40 year old husband, went to Rehabilitation after his injury. First group session, man said his wife left him. Counselor replied "Most spouses do ! "
Positive, dear group of friends, we helped one another.
Hopefully, I will be able to take care of myself up to the last day of my life. Time will tell.
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