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Again I say, you can tell the people that are from the city moving to the country and will never fit in. They call it being private, etc. But they are not really part of a tight knit community and never will be.
Country people are open and friendly with each other. If you need some help they are there to help you.
City people are suspicious of other people, and they keep up a wall between them selves and other as a protective mechanism. This is very apparent in the majority of posts on this thread. No matter how long they live in the country, they will never fit into the community. They will never know the joy of a friendly country community, as they will never let their guard down and fit in.
The country people know who you are, and they will not invite you into the community, as you do not fit into their lifestyle, which is be friends and work together to help each other.
Country people are different. Some will have a PHD from a major university, but you will never know it, as most of the people in town do not know it. Some will have multiple millions of dollars, and some will be poor, but they all take care of one another and no one thinks they are better than other people. They are all locals and proud of it.
When they try to invite you into their close community, a number of posters tell how they would reject those offers, as they are private people. The community will never accept you into their lives.
As I have read these posts, and it makes me sad, that you move to the country made up of friends, and are not ready to accept the country life style and never will be part of. Stay in or go back to the city, where you are comfortable, afraid of people who are afraid of you.
You're not from the PNW, are you? In the South, everyone is up in everyone else's business. Not so around here. When my mother moved here from Nebraska in the '30s, she told me she was very lonely because people didn't "neighbor" like where she was from. We form friendships by mutual interest, not by proximity.
For me, this conversation has been about appropriate ways to integrate into a new community and not about country mice vs. city mice. My family has six generations into farming in the PNW on one side and five on the other, and I also have a home in a small community on an island in Alaska, speaking of good fishing. Never lived in a city unless you count Ketchikan as such when I was in my 20s....anyway, I've got as good a grasp on rural living as anyone, and yeah, it's kind of annoying to be lectured about it when my point was that taking food to neighbors as a new resident isn't the norm here. (ETA I'm mostly talking about oldtrader's rather assumptive posts). Anyway, thanks for understanding that having an open door policy concerning total strangers isn't exactly a wise strategy for women who live alone or who are alone when someone comes knocking.
I understand and can relate to your experiences on the Olympic Peninsula; gentrification has definitely created some annoyances in many parts of Washington and Oregon. But neither Diane nor myself was promoting the type of behavior you've described about your experiences living there — quite the opposite, actually.
I know my neighbors. I know their names, their dogs' names, and enough about their daily lives that I'd recognize out-of-the ordinary circumstances and check to see if things were okay if something wasn't right. If there's a bear outside, whoever sees it first lets the others know.
Likewise. I'm from a farming family and have never lived in the city unless you count college. When we moved here, a neighbor showed up with a half gallon of wine and wanted to party. I was busy. I don't like wine. I got their name and phone number and showed them the door. It turns out they were renters who thought living in the country would be idyllic, sitting around getting drunk. A couple months later, they were gone.
That doesn't mean people are hostile. In the last snow storm, several large trees were down across the county road. The next morning, everyone was out with chainsaws and tractors. By 10 AM the road was open again, long before the county crew thought about even looking. If there's a problem, we fix it, then go back to doing what we were doing. Everybody looks out for each other's animals. If livestock is out, the owner gets a call. I once gave a neighbor's dog a 3 mile ride back home. Of course the dog knew where it was, but it didn't need to be 3 miles from home. The conversation went,
"Found your dog 3 miles down the road."
"Thanks."
"Later."
Last edited by Larry Caldwell; 03-20-2019 at 10:13 AM..
I'll have to try it. I have all the ingredients. I may go heavy on the salmon, because I have a cousin with a boat who cans his own salmon.
Now there's a situation where a drop-in would be valued. His canning kitchen is in his man cave, which is also set up with a large screen TV. He starts a batch in the pressure canner, tunes in a game, and by the time the game is over the fish is processed. I have half a dozen pint jars of salmon, thanks to the NFL. Pressure canning low acid food takes forever, and it's pretty boring.
I guess pie is alright sometimes but if I am going to eat sweets,
it's going to be something I prefer
We live in a very very small town here but we do have a bakery
Even when it's closed which is over half the year
she takes orders all year
Most folks don't need to bake any pies from scratch here
When we bought pies years back
Always bought them from Bakers Square Restaurant
Delicious!
Oh, you just had to bring up Baker's Square! I still remember when Baker's Square had blackberry cream cheese pie. To die for.
Yes, Diana, definitely pie. Although I don't know about home-made. I bought a strawberry rhubarb pie a while back at one of the little stores here. I'm embarrassed to tell you all how long it didn't last, so I won't.
Heck, if people want to meet their neighbors, forget the BBQ. Have a pie tasting contest instead!
I rarely make pies (or buy them) because I'm just not that into sweets, but every year I bake one using some raspberries my mom planted on my property years ago; this has meaning for our family that a purchased pie just wouldn't have. I do the creamed cheese thing with a crumb topping. Now and then, if I can get a certain type of heirloom apple, I might make a Mennonite apple pie.
No one "has to bake from scratch." People do it for other reasons, like creative expression.
Last edited by Metlakatla; 03-20-2019 at 01:54 PM..
I'm also a bit surprised when someone I don't know shows up at my property unannounced. I agree that I would be more sketched out by someone walking up vs. driving a vehicle. I would be even more sketched out if they sat outside in their vehicle and waited for me to come to them though. If that was the case, I'd probably carry out concealed protection to go and meet them. Since I don't especially care for people showing up unannounced, I try to not do that to my neighbors as well.
I think you just naturally meet your neighbors over time. Working outside, landscaping, walking, biking, passing on the road, etc. I also personally think it's better this way.
But if someone brought me a bakers square pie, I'd probably like them and eat it . My neighbors have given me raw honey and raw milk. I've improved the road in. We wave and have small talk in passing. We don't all get together and play parcheesi though.
The small rural community in Ohio where I grew up has a Chicken Pie Dinner every year, now sponsored and hosted by the local American Legion. If I remember correctly, this has been an annual event singe about the end of the Civil War. Lots of Chicken and Noodles and Chicken Pot Pie, all made from scratch. Roughly 400 people live in the township and the dinner draws 2+ times that number of people. We are too far away now to go for that one day, but I remember when I was a kid growing up and it was held in the local school cafeteria with the historical display in the gymnasium.
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. My neighbors have given me raw honey and raw milk. I've improved the road in. We wave and have small talk in passing. We don't all get together and play parcheesi though.
