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Old 01-05-2011, 11:26 AM
258 posts, read 628,578 times
Reputation: 106


This is a little long, so please only read if you want to help. Thanks!

When I say friendly I don't mean cordial, I mean friendly as in wanting to become friends with new people and not just smile and move on.
The reason I am asking is because we have been in San Antonio for a year and a half and the only people that we have become friends with are with people that are not originally from here. It seems the people that were born and raised here are kind, but when I try and reach out to them to get together, they seem to be busy. It's as if they already have their established friendships and there is no need to reach out to new comers to the city. One of my friends that I have met here that is from another city agrees with me, so I don't think it is just me or is it? We have met about 3 other couples that I would consider friends and they are from different cities. I wanted to see if others agree with me or not. I'm really more concerned for my son's well being. He has friends in school, but not outside of school. He used to be invited to a birthday party a month when we lived in another city, and he hasn't been invited to anything since we've been here. It really makes me sad. His teacher says he is quite popular at school too, so I think it's the parents. Because, my son has told me that his friends want him to go here and there with them, but when it comes to making plans, there is an excuse or not much effort from the parents. And it's not as if I haven't made an effort. I'm starting to think maybe San Antonio isn't the place for us, because we aren't really meeting people here. We don't feel welcome. We really still feel like outsiders and we don't belong. We are considering private school, because I think we may have a better chance at meeting people and for my son to make friends outside of school. My son goes to the Alamo Heights public school, so I'm wondering if it is just that area of town, or is all of San Antonio this way? I love San Antonio for so many reasons, but if we are not meeting people and we feel like we don't belong, it's hard to enjoy living here. Please let me know your opinion. Does it take a little while to get established here and meet people? Thank you so much for reading this and listening to me vent.
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:45 AM
17,670 posts, read 24,505,206 times
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Sorry that I didn't read the whole post (I don't have much time right now)

But I can tell you what I've noticed and learned from living in different countries.
The more public parks and free entertainment a city offer, the more "friendly" (your definition) people are.
The reason is that people don't have to work 2 jobs to afford putting their kids in teams, taking them to the museum, zoo, etc, etc.
Instead, when a city has a lot of those (Example, New Braunfels' Landa Park) people tend to be more relaxed and socialize more.

Just wanted to share that with you.
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:52 AM
258 posts, read 628,578 times
Reputation: 106
Thank you for responding. Yes, I feel like people are to busy to socialize anymore. We went to Austin this past weekend and hung out at Zilker park. It was so relaxed and unpretentious there. I had a few people just start talking to me and I didn't have to make the effort. It was a breath of fresh air.
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:52 AM
3,669 posts, read 6,761,197 times
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The usual thing in Alamo Heights is for parents to create play dates for their children if elementary-aged. That in turn allows parents to become friends themselves with each other. If that is not happening then you really have to wonder if the other parents really want to become your friends to begin with.

San Antonio overall seems to me like a place where many are willing to be friendly, in the polite and cordial sense, but not many are caring or considerate of others when it truly comes down to it.

There is also the factor, at least for me, in that other people just seem so simple-minded that I really could not bear pursuing or maintaining a friendship with them.
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Old 01-05-2011, 11:57 AM
1,903 posts, read 4,634,721 times
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Just curious....your child goes to Alamo Heights School. Do you actually live within the boundaries of Alamo Heights ISD or do you live outside the boundaries and pay tuition? Not sure, but it might make a difference.
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Old 01-05-2011, 12:18 PM
258 posts, read 628,578 times
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We don't pay tuition and we are in the district. But, when we moved here we decided to rent, because my husband was contract. He has now been hired on directly, so it looks like we will be here for awhile. I'm not sure if I want to keep my son in the AH school district though, if this is the way it is going to be. That's why we are thinking of buying a home in another area and sending our children to private school.
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Old 01-05-2011, 12:25 PM
Location: Pipe Creek, TX
2,793 posts, read 5,921,818 times
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IMO, SA was a super friendly place back in the 80s and part of the 90s. It has changed a lot since back then. I would have to agree, seems nobody has much time... or they are to wrapped up in themselves to bother....
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Old 01-05-2011, 12:26 PM
2,312 posts, read 3,611,817 times
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In some respects yes. Not when they set fire to 2 year old Chihuahuas
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Old 01-05-2011, 12:27 PM
Location: South Side
3,770 posts, read 8,143,211 times
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I send my son to private school and this has been THE BEST outlet for meeting new people and making some new friends. Private school is usually its own close knit community and we have found it easier to connect with other people by being INVOLVED. My husband coaches basketball and we know all the kids and their parents (and then some). Good luck!
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Old 01-05-2011, 12:27 PM
258 posts, read 628,578 times
Reputation: 106
Merovee, I know what you mean.
But again, I'm thinking of my 3 children who are 7 and under. I don't want them to grow up feeling like they don't have a sense of belonging or community. They just go to school and come home with no outside friends. Obviously, this concerns me greatly, especially since I've seen the complete opposite in our lives. My son has even said he wants to move back to where we used to live, because he misses his old friends. We used to go over to many of his friends houses and hang out and have dinner, etc.
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