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What about renters who have the largest, nicest house on the block? The one behind gates? Are they bad for property values? Or are they just insulting in another way?
Yes, it's true that my neighborhood has a lot of renters. There are a lot of professional workers who come in and go out rather quickly. In fact I bought a book about class status in America called Class Matters and it calls this group the "Five-Bedroom, Six-Figure Rootless Life". Among other American cities it mentions Sammamish (but we could just as easily throw in any Eastside community) as having a large percentage of relo's. On the other hand, the people moving here are demographically identical to those who leave and they would happily buy, but the inventory remains low. I would imagine the prejudice would usually be against people who are different than them. In this case, they aren't.
RVD, it's not that I don't feel that she's not right, or that there isn't an element of truth to it. However I don't feel that she's right all the time and in every situation. She's the one who took an absolutist approach. Also, I feel that the whole conversation shouldn't have happened in the first place. I was asking about her weekend. I was asking if she liked her movie. I was asking if she thought the actors did a good job. You know, the normal stuff you talk to neighbors about. She already had a tendency to go in this direction with me for some odd reason... because I'm not like her and it doesn't bother me??? Thus far I've only been a wage-earner, I had kids right out of college, I'm 10 years younger and my kids are 2 years older than hers. I'm back in school... and yes, I'm (far) more progressively oriented. However she's NEVER asked me about my life and my background. She knows my husband's achievments but she's never heard about the PhDs and MDs or the multimillionaires in my family, my travel experiences, my appreciation for good art and good food, how much I enjoy learning. Not that that's important to her. Whatever.... I was trying to be pleasant and sociable. At least now I can probably just ignore her, which is what I've been wanting to do this whole time.
David, #2, Yes, very true, there is one in every neighborhood. I've thought that soooo many times. Which is why I was blowing him an air kiss as he frantically, shakingly took my photo for "evidence" yesterday. I've decided I'm going to gift him. I'm going to buy him a reflective vest, whistle, note pad, yellow "do not cross" tape and a little Charlie Chaplin mustache in case he's feeling like a particular Nazi dictator.
Curious - where is the neighborhood? The grouchy old guy lives in every neighborhood. Ever see an old movie called "The Burbs" with Tom Hanks? Every time we see an old guy carrying a little dog, we say "Queenie!".
Angelenogirl my friend that bought in West Seattle rented there first and said she did have the feeling maybe because she was renting she didn't belong as much. Then she bought a bigger even nicer house. She just wanted to rent first to see how she would like living in West Seattle first.
I think that is very common, and not always for negative reasons. I'll admit that I don't really try to get to know renters in the neighborhood to the extent I do homeowners. It has nothing to do with looking down upon them. In the back of my mind I think they will probably move on in a year or two, so I don't go out of my way to get to know them. So here I sit now in Seattle and will rent myself for a year or two. I'll get to enjoy a little poetic justice while others do the same to me
Curious - where is the neighborhood? The grouchy old guy lives in every neighborhood. Ever see an old movie called "The Burbs" with Tom Hanks? Every time we see an old guy carrying a little dog, we say "Queenie!".
Angelenogirl my friend that bought in West Seattle rented there first and said she did have the feeling maybe because she was renting she didn't belong as much. Then she bought a bigger even nicer house. She just wanted to rent first to see how she would like living in West Seattle.
OMG OMG OMG That's HIM!!!! He carries a little dog EVERYWHERE!!! Now I'm definitely going to see this movie. We're in Issaquah Highlands.
OMG OMG OMG That's HIM!!!! He carries a little dog EVERYWHERE!!! Now I'm definitely going to see this movie. We're in Issaquah Highlands.
Every family has movies they identify with and The Burbs is one of ours. It wasn't a huge hit at the time but there are so many quotable lines. It's not highbrow but anyone that's spent time in the suburbs will recognize the characters, the old guy with the little dog, the patriotic guy that raises a flag every morning, the guy who's always in the middle of everything, the mysterious neighbors (our shorthand for anyone doing unexplainable activities is to refer to them as the Klopeks.
You do realize that by contradicting her, you broke a rule of mommydom in not being confrontational, yes? Not saying that she was right or wrong but if another parent that you have no intimate relationship with says something that you totally disagree with and yet doesn't affect you or your kids, you smile, change the subject and get out of there ASAP.
If I debated/engaged every person that had opinions different than mine, I'd be on the other thread on here asking why I had no friends. Is this a Seattle thing? Do most conversations waiting for a bus have to be this substantial? I'm in trouble!
As for the grumpy old man, yeah every place has them. Under the gruff exterior is usually a person hardened by whatever...burying a wife, kid, grand kids that never call, feeling worthless, illness, depression. Just keep your kids off his lawn and let the others fend for themselves. Heck, if his yard needs some work it might go a long way if you and some of the other moms and kids offered to come help him clean it up one Saturday. Ask his name and use it as you smile at him daily to greet him. He may not change but you'll feel better I promise.
Taunting him is akin to bullying...to an old man? Not cool, regardless or how nuts he is.
You do realize that by contradicting her, you broke a rule of mommydom in not being confrontational, yes? Not saying that she was right or wrong but if another parent that you have no intimate relationship with says something that you totally disagree with and yet doesn't affect you or your kids, you smile, change the subject and get out of there ASAP.
If I debated/engaged every person that had opinions different than mine, I'd be on the other thread on here asking why I had no friends. Is this a Seattle thing? Do most conversations waiting for a bus have to be this substantial? I'm in trouble!
As for the grumpy old man, yeah every place has them. Under the gruff exterior is usually a person hardened by whatever...burying a wife, kid, grand kids that never call, feeling worthless, illness, depression. Just keep your kids off his lawn and let the others fend for themselves. Heck, if his yard needs some work it might go a long way if you and some of the other moms and kids offered to come help him clean it up one Saturday. Ask his name and use it as you smile at him daily to greet him. He may not change but you'll feel better I promise.
Taunting him is akin to bullying...to an old man? Not cool, regardless or how nuts he is.
Actually, if you go back and read what I wrote, she's the one who made the contradiction. I made the statement that not everyone has the choice to leave a sinking, filthy, dirty place and that's where the contradiction occurred. She interjected. AND if you go back and see what I wrote (you did read my post right?) you'd see I was trying to engage in neighborly chat i.e. "so how was your weekend, what did you guys do?" "did you like the movie?" Not very substantial in my book.
As for the second guy... well, he doesn't even have a lawn! He lives in an attached townhouse amongst 50 other units and we have fleet of landscapers that come every Wednesday to tidy things up. The complex's HOA covers all the landscaping. He is specifically yelling at the kids to stay on the sidewalk and not the 1-3 feet of grass between the landscaping and the sidewalk, not for his unit, but THE ENTIRE COMPLEX. What's even more silly is that there is an integrated art/playscape of grass and stone and a hopscotch pattern engraved in other stones that are embedded along the sidewalk in the complex. The space was literally designed for the use of children. New Urbanism values that have completely befallen this guy's understanding. He has every right in the world to be a jerk because technically, all 50 units share one address... but then again, he's not right because all those units are also members of the Issaquah Highlands HOA, the one that the rest of us outside his complex feed into as well. We're all the same community. His anger towards the kids was really at the beginning of the year. What makes me mad is the continuation of his aggression towards parents at drop off/pick up. Instead of being kind and saying, "Hi, excuse me, but our community doesn't want anyone to park here... see the sign? Thanks a lot, I appreciate it." instead he charges at them with a grumpy face, shaking his head, pointing his finger and then refuses to let them pass until he writes down their plate number on his handy clipboard. Usually I do ignore him but yesterday I saw a woman, a foreigner, trying to move her car and he wouldn't let her pass. She was yelling at him and I wanted to diffuse the situation and so I approached her car. I told her to just leave but that I was also sorry for the situation and that's when he jumped on me with the "you're tresspassing, you're harassing me! I know your name and it's been reported to the police! I'm going to call 911 right now!, etc, etc." Again, I didn't approach him; I went to her. I wanted to help the poor mom who was bewildered and upset. I had a couple of choices. I could have walked away. I could have gotten into an argument or I could have done what I did, which was to mock him. Why did I mock him? Because he was trying to intimidate me and scare me away. Even though I know he was completely lying, it's still kind of scary when someone says that they know your name and it's been handed to authorities. I wanted to assert myself and establish that I was not going to let him subjugate me: I should not be afraid to walk my kid home from school. period. No, no way I'm going to talk to him and be nice. I'm not nice to aggressors.
Actually, if you go back and read what I wrote, she's the one who made the contradiction. I made the statement that not everyone has the choice to leave a sinking, filthy, dirty place and that's where the contradiction occurred. She interjected. AND if you go back and see what I wrote (you did read my post right?) you'd see I was trying to engage in neighborly chat i.e. "so how was your weekend, what did you guys do?" "did you like the movie?" Not very substantial in my book.
As for the second guy... well, he doesn't even have a lawn! He lives in an attached townhouse amongst 50 other units and we have fleet of landscapers that come every Wednesday to tidy things up. The complex's HOA covers all the landscaping. He is specifically yelling at the kids to stay on the sidewalk and not the 1-3 feet of grass between the landscaping and the sidewalk, not for his unit, but THE ENTIRE COMPLEX. What's even more silly is that there is an integrated art/playscape of grass and stone and a hopscotch pattern engraved in other stones that are embedded along the sidewalk in the complex. The space was literally designed for the use of children. New Urbanism values that have completely befallen this guy's understanding. He has every right in the world to be a jerk because technically, all 50 units share one address... but then again, he's not right because all those units are also members of the Issaquah Highlands HOA, the one that the rest of us outside his complex feed into as well. We're all the same community. His anger towards the kids was really at the beginning of the year. What makes me mad is the continuation of his aggression towards parents at drop off/pick up. Instead of being kind and saying, "Hi, excuse me, but our community doesn't want anyone to park here... see the sign? Thanks a lot, I appreciate it." instead he charges at them with a grumpy face, shaking his head, pointing his finger and then refuses to let them pass until he writes down their plate number on his handy clipboard. Usually I do ignore him but yesterday I saw a woman, a foreigner, trying to move her car and he wouldn't let her pass. She was yelling at him and I wanted to diffuse the situation and so I approached her car. I told her to just leave but that I was also sorry for the situation and that's when he jumped on me with the "you're tresspassing, you're harassing me! I know your name and it's been reported to the police! I'm going to call 911 right now!, etc, etc." Again, I didn't approach him; I went to her. I wanted to help the poor mom who was bewildered and upset. I had a couple of choices. I could have walked away. I could have gotten into an argument or I could have done what I did, which was to mock him. Why did I mock him? Because he was trying to intimidate me and scare me away. Even though I know he was completely lying, it's still kind of scary when someone says that they know your name and it's been handed to authorities. I wanted to assert myself and establish that I was not going to let him subjugate me: I should not be afraid to walk my kid home from school. period. No, no way I'm going to talk to him and be nice. I'm not nice to aggressors.
I think I've just expanded my definition of "bad neighborhood". Yikes.
Just to clarify, I'm not saying that the other woman didn't make a statement that might be considered by some to be insensitive, but I'm not a confrontational person by nature so I would have changed the subject. I have somewhat conservative views but if I'm at a PTA meeting meeting and someone starts talking about giving amnesty to people here illegally I wouldnt start arguing with them about my viewpoint. I'm truly not trying to bash you at all but am merely pointing out that you might want to just not engage other people...especially parents...in arguments as you really are stuck with them for 13+ years and never know when you will be forced together.
I personally think this is up to the school to rectify the situation with the complex. If people are illegally parking, double parking, etc. then the school needs to put crossing guards out there and maybe a small fence to keep people from trampling on the complex's property. Look I have 3 kids and I get how hectic it is to pick them up when there is nowhere to park but am I misunderstanding this or is this guy getting mad at people that are 100% legally parking and getting their kids?
Last edited by jjinla; 05-02-2013 at 06:23 AM..
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Is this a Seattle thing? Do most conversations waiting for a bus have to be this substantial? I'm in trouble!
