30-something single female considering a move to STL from Boston (St. Louis: safe area, allergies)

[aragx6]

Found it!

Our Brookings study, "Technology and Tolerance," as well as my own research has found that the gay community is an indicator of a place's openness and tolerance to new ideas and types of people — "a canary in a coal mine" so to speak — which is closely correlated with technological innovation and economic development.

What Marriage Equality Could Mean for Urban Economies - Politics - The Atlantic Cities#

[glamatomic]

Originally Posted by TheMoonandStars

I said I don't date but for the women who do or looking to date be cautious because homosexuality runs rampant in this city. It DO!

IT DO!

That wonderful example of the English language just goes to show the level of intellect of the poster.
OP: Please do not take her comments seriously. As you can see from the outpouring of backlash against TheMoonandStars negative attitude, her opinions are largely unfounded. It's a free country and she has a right to differ in opinion, St. Louis is not for everyone but a lot of what she says are untruths.

In response to Dawn10am and Aragx6's comments regarding the LGBT community- I agree that they do a lot for a city and it certainly shouldn't be viewed as a disadvantage.

As I said in a rep post to Dawn10am, one of my friends told me some years ago that it was predominantly the Gay community in St. Louis that was responsible for the initial rehabilitation of Lafayette Square back in the 1970s. For the decades preceding, Lafayette Square had turned into a major slum. Now, it's absolutely beautiful.

Since I've been back in St. Louis I honestly couldn't imagine living anywhere else, ever again. Even though I'm out in the suburbs (husband's preference) I'm still within 30 minutes of all of the incredible things St. Louis has to offer. Arts, Theater, Dining, Music, Architecture, History... and affordability. What more could anyone ask for?

[aragx6]

What makes you think there are more closeted gays in St. Louis than any other place? Quite the contrary, really. The city's tolerance for the LGBT crowd makes this a particular non issue.

I'm telling you right now, my gay brother dates men, not women. Because, you know, he's gay.

This isn't rocket science.

[meredithhr]

Good luck with whatever you decide! That is definitely a hard decision.

For neighborhoods, I wouldn't be afraid to at least look at some of the more residential neighborhoods- Southwest Gardens, Tower Grove South, even Lafayette Square. Rental / Property Management Groups you can try: Red Brick Management, Garcia Properties. You can also try Craig's List. I would personally pick Lafayette Square, even Benton Park- over Soulard.

If you put in the effort, you will meet people who share similar interests. Saint Louis is great- I've been to many places, and I can say that people in Saint Louis have big hearts (we do wear it on our sleeve), and are extremely friendly. That being said, most of the transplants I've met- have started their social circle with people at work- then gradually expanded their comfort zone. So the answer might really come down how much you like your colleagues in STL.

[8709]

Hi All,

Thanks again for the continuing commentary. I'm coming to STL in a few weeks for a weekend to get a sense of it. Any recommendations for spots I shouldn't miss in trying to get a real sense of the city (outside of the general tourist stuff I'll be able to find out about easily on my own)?

Thanks!

[meredithhr]

Here are a few ideas

Activities:
1). Steinberg Skating Rink in Forest Park- Steinberg Skating Rink in Forest Park

2). If you plan your visit the 3rd Friday of the month, then stop by Third Degree Glass Factory- they have a really fun Open House. Third Degree Glass Factory They have live music drink specials, and demonstrations.

3).Music: Venice Cafe (Benton Park), Blues City Deli (Benton Park)

4). Breakfast: Lunch: Gioias Deli (The Hill), Dinner: Sasha's on Shaw (right by Botanical Gardens)

5). Ice Cream: Tower Grove Creamery

[IDASpaceman]

Native Bostonian here. There is no comparison. If you absolutely love Boston...I would come for a visit prior to making the move. Your dollar will stretch much further...but other than that, a completely different atmosphere and lifestyle. Excellent sports town (All of the teams compete and getting stronger)...tickets are easy to come by. Limited night life, but it exists. Crime is rampant...but the nice thing is, you can get a concealed weapons permit without much hassle.

If you come here...don't even try to compare--just enjoy it for what its worth. And for God's sake...beware of their nasty Pizza (IMO's), it tastes like ketchup on a cracker with some sort of cheese whiz on top. Hope you are not addicted to Dunkin Donuts...there are only two in the entire Metro Area (Airport and Kirkwood). There's a couple of mediocre Irish Pubs and Italian Restaurants in and around the Soulard & Hill areas. Two or three good mall areas...and traffic is doable. Overall, I've enjoyed the people...harmless...a bit slow, but good meaning folks.

The place grows on ya...but I would be shocked if you fell in love with it. We haven't...and are only here for the $. Good luck and feel free to DM for more.

[glamatomic]

I think IDASpaceman has made some good points, but (as we all do) raised some subjective points as well.

OP: Whether or not St. Louis or any other city will be a fit for you- either temporarily or permanently mainly comes down to your personal attitude, in addition to your feelings for your home city.

For instance, when I first moved to St. Louis (sight unseen) I wanted to love it. More to the point, I didn't love Brisbane, Australia (where I grew up) and although I liked living in London, the cost of living there was a severe deterrent when it came to thinking of London as somewhere I'd live the rest of my life. When first moving to St. Louis, I didn't expect it to be the place where I'd want to grow old, but I expected to love it... and I did. Maybe I loved it more because I didn't like my hometown in Australia? Maybe because a future here was so much more feasible from a financial point of view, than a future in London?

However, when I moved to North Carolina's Crystal Coast after a couple of years in St. Louis, I hated it, loathed it, despised it, and off the top of my head I can think of few nice things to say about the entire state. Why? I often ask myself this. So many people love North Carolina and desire to move to the Crystal Coast and surrounds. Why do I hate it so much?

I've realized that the answer is simple. I loved St. Louis so much that nothing could compare to it. I spent the last 4 1/2 years devoted to the idea of moving back to St. Louis. I didn't move to NC expecting to like it, and although I tried to find something to love about it, with the exception of Asheville (which was over 4 hours drive away from me) all I could come up with was complaints. On the flip side, talk to others and they love it there because they didn't experience the emotional attachment to wherever they were from in the past.

Your hometown will always be a part of you- your friends, your family, your experiences, your memories... but whether it's in your blood or truly in your heart is another matter entirely.

It's very true that some people move to St. Louis and dislike it here- and I think it mainly comes from attachment to somewhere else. Sometimes there just isn't room enough in your heart to happily live in another place. There was plenty of room in mine for St. Louis... it will depend on your life and attitudes whether there's room in yours to love it here. I hope there is

It sounds weird but I see living in a city is kind of like being in a relationship. If you really love the person, but have to leave each other (while still in love), it's ridiculously hard to give anyone else your heart. If you're in a relationship and just going through the motions and you go your separate ways, chances are you'll be able to fall in love with someone else without a hitch, because you never loved the other person that much to begin with.

As for your question as to places off the beaten track in St. Louis, I like Meredith's suggestions but feel compelled to add my own:

-The Delmar Loop (it may already be on your list of 'touristy' things but I'm going ahead and suggesting it anyway- catch a film at the Tivoli, browse the shops and restaurants, it's a nice day out!)
-The Boathouse Cafe in Forest Park It doesn't re-open until Spring but it's a wonderful cafe located in Forest Park. If you'll be in Forest Park to check out the Museum and Art Gallery it's a great place to stop for a cup of coffee and light lunch.
-McGurks Pub in Soulard
-Old Town St. Charles About half an hour from St. Louis proper, although the shops are mainly granny style knick knacks, the buildings and cobbled streets are really neat. Some of the bars aren't too bad either!
-Ted Drewes Custard I have to veto Meredith's suggestion of Tower Grove Creamery (no offense Meredith!) and suggest Ted Drewes mainly because it's a St. Louis classic. It reopens for the season in February at the Chippewa location. It's one of those old school Route 66 attractions / icons that you just have to try!

Also, keep checking St. Louis News and Events | Riverfront Times Calendar for events and gigs in and around St. Louis during your stay. There's likely to be something fun going on, or a festival of sorts, or something interesting happening when you visit! (There's usually something for everyone).

Finally, just drive around some of the neighborhoods-especially in Central West End, South City, etc etc to get a feel of everywhere. St. Louis has some incredible old architecture and some really wonderful neighborhoods

Again, best of luck to you! ♥

P.S. No offense was intended to IDASpaceman- I was just commenting on my personal outlook toward attitudes toward cities.

[IDASpaceman]

^None taken...I think you offer an interesting, informative, and worthy perspective. Good on ya. I wish the OP the very best as well--enjoy the rep, well deserved.

[meredithhr]

Ha, glamatomic. No offense taken. The first time that I had Ted Drewe's was right before my parents left when they helped me move into my SLU dorm room. I did not like it at all the first time I tried it, I thought that it was way too rich. It eventually grew on me but even now- I would rather visit Tower Grove for my ice cream fix.

Definitly agree with IDASpaceman's thoughts on IMOs. It isn't the only place for pizza- thank goodness that there are other choices out there.

I feel silly mentioning this, but parts of Up in the Air were filmed in STL. George Clooney's Omaha apartment was the Mansion House downtown, 2340 Whittemore Place in Lafayette Square was Vera's Lincoln Park Home in Chicago.

Another factor to consider is that compared to Boston, the summers in STL are horrible. It's very humid, you may need to find a good allergist as well.