30-something single female considering a move to STL from Boston (St. Louis: transplants, lofts)

[8709]

Hi All,

I'm considering a move to STL for a great job opportunity. To me, the only negative is having to move to a city I've never been to and don't know a soul in. Unfortunately, what I've read on these boards hasn't reassured me. Where I had been worried about the dating scene for someone my age (I read that most people get married younger and I will have trouble finding single men in my age range), I'm now also worried that I'll have trouble making friends in the first place as I keep reading about how closed off everyone is to "transplants." I have a really active social life and lot of friends here. Giving that up is hard enough without worrying that I'll have a really hard time making new friends in a new city. Any reassurance would be great! (Though, of course, I want honest answers so if the above is accurate, I want to know that, too, so I can turn down the job.)

As to living areas, I'm thinking CWE, Soulard or Downtown based on everyone's comments here (love those Downtown lofts! They look amazing.)

Thanks!

[Dreadnought]

I'm a native in the sense that I was born here, and my entire family is from here, but I spent many years living abroad so in another sense I am sort of a transplant as well. Upon returning to St. Louis I've had to basically start over making new friends, and dating as well as I am a single guy. I simply haven't had any problems making friends, or getting dates with quality women. I have a nice little circle of friends that I met since moving back here. Also I have a nice little pub that I hang out at, and now know all the bartenders and regulars, and everyone has been super friendly. I am not going to lie though, I certainly have noticed that some people on and off these forums have a perception of St. Louis natives not being welcoming, but I simply haven't experienced it personally. I think that if you are the type of person that is sociable and makes friends easily you will do fine in St. Louis. If you're not then you will have trouble anywhere you live, and these people tend to blame the city.

Just my thoughts.

[Dreadnought]

Forgot to mention one other thing - The Chicago Bears are my football team and I often wear a Bears hat all over St. Louis. You would not believe how many times a week complete strangers stop me on the street or in stores or whatever to compliment me on my hat. So if they hate transplants they sure have a funny way of showing it

[glamatomic]

You will be FINE!

I moved to St. Louis originally when I was 22, and like you, I didn't know a soul (actually, I knew few people on the entire continent, let alone St. Louis proper!). As it turned out, I loved it here- and after a few years away I'm back again. Despite some negative postings on here, St. Louis is a wonderful city with plenty of warm, welcoming people. I felt at home immediately.

I am naturally a very sociable person, but I found it very easy to make new friends, get dates, etc when I moved here. Also, I do not think 30 is 'too old' to be single in St. Louis! When I was young and single and living here the first time (I'm 29 and married now) I dated plenty of eligible guys 30+, so they're definitely out there!

I NEVER thought that St. Louis was closed off to transplants- if anything, North Carolina (where I lived for a few years before moving back to The Lou) was anti-transplant, despite the great number of them. St. Louis welcomed me with open arms. The city and it's people immediately adopted me, and it's subsequently become where I consider 'home'.

Moving from anywhere, and how you are accepted by the community you move to, to an extent does depend on you. For instance, I find those who had negative experiences here, did so usually through fault of their own. They were either forever comparing it to other cities they lived in (which is human nature, but some things you have to keep to yourself and not verbalize!) and just came in with a negative attitude. Moving to a new city is kind of like going to a Teenaged Party when you're the new kid in town. If you walk in the door with a frown on your face, a glum attitude, a holier-than-thou attitude or just stand in the corner by yourself the whole night, of course you're going to have a bad time. But if you arrive with a smile for everyone and a great attitude with the intention to 'mix in', you'll be a hit!

Everywhere in the world is going to have it's positives and negatives. Of course St. Louis has it's share, but in embracing a place you have to find things to love- and if you're anything like me, you'll find plenty to love in St. Louis (diverse food, museums, theaters, galleries, music, history, architecture).

I hope you move here, and I hope you love it here! Sometimes we all need a fresh start in life, St. Louis definitely gave that to me, and I hope it can give it to you as well!

♥

[8709]

Thanks so much! I appreciate the thoughtful responses.

[doss1]

I'm 32 and just moved to downtown STL 2 months ago from Texas for a new job. I have had no problem dating thanks to online dating People are very friendly here and I love how compact and convenient downtown is to everything. The one thing that people here constantly asking me is "where am I from?" because of my accent. I never really got that in any other state. Seriously, if you want to discuss it more, PM me and I would be happy to share all the info and tips I have (especially if you plan to live downtown).

[zach_33]

I moved here sight unseen about 10 years ago and I can assure you it is a decent place to live. Lots of history and neat architecture. Plenty of places to explore and experience. Good stuff to do. When I first moved here I thought it could be a tough market to be single in (at least compared to where I moved from, sweet home Chicago), but there is a fairly active community of single yuppies from what I can tell - they frequent the scene along Washington avenue downtown and in the Central West End along Euclid. Wash Ave is alive with 20 somethings on the weekends - it's kind of a youngsters scene from what I can tell (old man that I am at 40). CWE is a little more mixed age-wise and more established, sophisticated even. Soulard is more laid back - come as you are, laissez le bon temps roulez. There are a lot of other areas you could consider for pursuit of an active social community. Just outside city limits, Clayton is full of young power brokers. Also, University City is a cool, eclectic spot with plenty of hipsters and intellectuals. Most men have a weakness for single women in their 30s, by the way I think you'd probably do just fine here.

[chicagoerin]

I can't comment on the singles scence but will share my thoughts: search on my user name. You will find a lot of interesting data about St. Louis. My family (parents, Sister and BIL (who is a PHD/MBA from Wash U) and myself all feel the area is on a quick decline. And it wasn't in such great shape to begin with. The level of crime is getting to be too rich for our blood and we are moving. I recruit for a living for a firm that is $30 billion in revenue. We employ 160,000 worldwide. I can tell you that of all the midwestern cities I recruit for (Chicago, Indy, Minneapolis, Columbus, Detroit, etc). St Louis has always been the hardest to sell. And people tend to move here for school or work and leave. There are certainly some people who establish roots and love it here, but I think they are not the norm. I have lived in Chicago and Columbus, OH and would move to either of those areas (or Indy or Minneapolis) before moving here.

[Dreadnought]

^Oh so the millions of people that live in St. Louis, and it's surrounding suburbs are all miserable huh? Right. I think that's your perception because you are obviously an unhappy person. You are also wrong. Do yourself a favor and move if you hate it here so much.

[Dawn10am]

I'm also a transplant (came here for law school) and I've been impressed by how open and welcoming St. Louisans are. I think the more closed-off, cliquish vibe is found primarily in the suburbs. The City is full of young transplants so I would suggest living there. I actually have a friend from New England who came to the midwest specifically because she found the people to be warmer and friendlier, so if Boston is your frame of reference then you'll probably get the same impression.

And, contrary to what chicagoerin says, the norm actually is to love it here and establish roots. Almost everybody I know is a transplant and they genuinely like it here and plan on staying, if not forever then at least for a while. I've never met a transplant who genuinely hates St. Louis, if that tells you anything.