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I never thought Cookie was being anything except.. a dog. Geez...
Of course she's just being a dog. However, as a dog owner, a person has to train their dog not to bite guests, steal food, beg for food, pee on the floor, poop on the floor, be a nuisance, etc.
True about the work ethic. However, B just got $120 Million for Skinny Girl. That money is going to drastically, drastically change all their lives. B never has to work another day in her life. She can buy Brynn everything she ever wants or needs. I have a feeling B is going to overindulge Brynn big time. (not intentionally spoiling her, but that's what's going to happen)
Bethenny won't need to work anymore, but I doubt she will stop working anytime soon. Bethenny has never struck me as a materialistic person, I don't think she will allow her daughter to become spoiled, or take money for granted.
OK geez I retract my statement about kids being easier than dogs!... it's possible that I had a very difficult dog! To give some backround as to why I said that. I was raised with my 6 cousins growing up, the youngest were 2 and 4... the older kids, myself included, took care of the younger kids a lot. I know we were a lot of work for my aunt, but considering my situation (as an adult) fairly recently with my aggressive dog who passed away 6 months or so ago, I'll take the kids over that. Maybe I'm crazy, but kids you can talk to and reason with (we were not spoiled btw). It's a whole different ballgame with a dog, or should I say a dog like mine. Maybe what I meant was that it's different. I think it's possible to give your child everything they need and then some without spoiling them. We didn't have a lot of money growing up and I'm in a better financial situation now than my family was then. So I think when we have kids we'll give them more than I had. But that doesn't exactly equal spoiled brats. I don't think Brynn will be spoiled either. Again I don't have children of my own so I realize all of this is speculation.
I think what Bethenny will give Brynn that she didn't have is love and closeness with parents. When Bethenny talks about her childhood it sounds like her parents were pretty well off, she went to boarding school, her father was a horse trainer... I don't get the impression that she didn't have everything she needed in terms of material things. So I don't think she'll be compensating so much on that front.
Last edited by J-CityRelo; 05-05-2011 at 09:37 AM..
OK geez I retract my statement about kids being easier than dogs!... it's possible that I had a very difficult dog! To give some backround as to why I said that. I was raised with my 6 cousins growing up, the youngest were 2 and 4... the older kids, myself included, took care of the younger kids a lot. I know we were a lot of work for my aunt, but considering my situation (as an adult) fairly recently with my aggressive dog who passed away 6 months or so ago, I'll take the kids over that. Maybe I'm crazy, but kids you can talk to and reason with (we were not spoiled btw). It's a whole different ballgame with a dog, or should I say a dog like mine. Maybe what I meant was that it's different. I think it's possible to give your child everything they need and then some without spoiling them. We didn't have a lot of money growing up and I'm in a better financial situation now than my family was then. So I think when we have kids we'll give them more than I had. But that doesn't exactly equal spoiled brats. I don't think Brynn will be spoiled either. Again I don't have children of my own so I realize all of this is speculation.
I think what Bethenny will give Brynn that she didn't have is love and closeness with parents. When Bethenny talks about her childhood it sounds like her parents were pretty well off, she went to boarding school, her father was a horse trainer... I don't get the impression that she didn't have everything she needed in terms of material things. So I don't think she'll be compensating so much on that front.
I was actually thinking that your post was most likely misunderstood, I do understand what you are saying, in some ways kids can be easier at times than dogs. I agree about Bethenny wanting to give Brynn the love and closeness she has never had. I have seen no indication that material things matter to her, it only makes sense that she would raise her daughter to value people over stuff, she probably has a clear understand that money can never substitute for love and attention.
I agree; that was precious. To me, Brynn saying that is cute, of course. But what I can't stand is Jason seemingly almost always calling Bethenny "mama". Maybe he does not say each every time and it just registers with me when he does. But I do know that I have said to the tv many times "she is not your mother"!
I agree; that was precious. To me, Brynn saying that is cute, of course. But what I can't stand is Jason seemingly almost always calling Bethenny "mama". Maybe he does not say each every time and it just registers with me when he does. But I do know that I have said to the tv many times "she is not your mother"!
That husband calling wife "mama" thing bugs me too, I know some people do that, but I find it annoying.
That husband calling wife "mama" thing bugs me too, I know some people do that, but I find it annoying.
my husband did that to me when my daughter was first born, too, and I couldn't stand it! Thankfully, he stopped after a while --- I guess my eyerolls, teeth sucking, and annoyed sighs gave him the hint. LOL!
First of all, buying your child everything has nothing to do with spoiling. Nothing. And Bethenny knows this. She had a lot, went to boarding school, as did I and in the scheme of things, it means nothing. I was filthy rich growing up but I did not have the love of my parents. In fact they were quite neglectful and could be physically brutal.
There is an enormous difference when it comes to making sure your child goes to the best schools, has the latest clothes, takes the best lessons, has all the advantages. I had the same things. It was called "keeping up with the social circle."
But behind closed doors was another thing entirely.
Spoiling a child, to me, means allowing the child to talk back, be rude to others, make all their own decisions, boss people around, throw tantrums, etc. I was never allowed to do any of those things, either, which is one of the things that my parents got right. It probably had to do with "keeping up with the social circle" but that's okay.
And how one handles their dog and how they handle their child can be two different things, too. I love how the same cast of characters jumped to that conclusion like clockwork.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 121804
Your best bet is to stick w/ animals if you think they are harder than kids b/c a child will have you begging for mercy 4 days into their new birth.
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. Seriously? I've had five kids and I've never begged for mercy. Not once. I was young when I had the first and old when I had the last and this has never happened. And I don't know anyone that felt that way, either. In fact, on the second I had some post-partum depression but still didn't cry for mercy. That statement explains a lot.
One last thing. Our 11-year-old is my last child; the miracle baby. She is also my husband's one and only. I would walk on my arms until they turned to bloody stumps for that girl, and then keep going. But does she mouth off? No, she does not. Does she have everything I can monetarily give her and then some. She does, although it was not always that way.
But once again, spoiling is not buying things. Spoiling is allowing the child to run rampant, run the show. And Jill and Ramona don't do that, either. LuAnn is too worried about her boyfriend to be paying much attention and that is starting to show with her daughter.
First of all, buying your child everything has nothing to do with spoiling. Nothing. And Bethenny knows this. She had a lot, went to boarding school, as did I and in the scheme of things, it means nothing. I was filthy rich growing up but I did not have the love of my parents. In fact they were quite neglectful and could be physically brutal.
There is an enormous difference when it comes to making sure your child goes to the best schools, has the latest clothes, takes the best lessons, has all the advantages. I had the same things. It was called "keeping up with the social circle."
But behind closed doors was another thing entirely.
Spoiling a child, to me, means allowing the child to talk back, be rude to others, make all their own decisions, boss people around, throw tantrums, etc. I was never allowed to do any of those things, either, which is one of the things that my parents got right. It probably had to do with "keeping up with the social circle" but that's okay.
And how one handles their dog and how they handle their child can be two different things, too. I love how the same cast of characters jumped to that conclusion like clockwork.
I don't completely agree with this. I have seen kids who were spoiled with material things, and getting everything they want, when they want it. Handing a child a credit card, and buying them everything they want will often lead to a spoiled child who grows up thinking the world owes them. I have no problem with kids having nice things, and good schools, lessons, etc. don't spoil kids, but I don't believe any child should get everything they want, and the things they do get should be tied to some sort of work/reward system. Allowing a child to always have their way in any area will likely lead to spoiling. Maybe that didn't happen with you because you were emotionally deprived, and it sounds like you were disciplined strongly, which is probably the main thing that prevents spoiling. I'm sorry to hear that you weren't given much love, children don't need money to be happy, they need love. I'm sure many kids manage to grow up fine no matter what the parents do.
My point is I have seen too many parents who give their kids everything they ask for, even if the parent can't really afford it, because they are afraid their kids won't like them otherwise. Usually the kids will throw tantrums if the parent doesn't buy them everything they want, and they take that attitude out into the world and just expect to be handed everything. It sounds like your parents wouldn't put up with that either. I suppose this is just my values, I was raised to work for things, and understand the value of money. I was certainly never deprived, I had designer jeans, and most everything I needed to fit in, but I had limits, I couldn't have every single thing I wanted unless I got a job and bought it myself.
My parents never cared about "social circles" or what others thought, I did when I was a teen, but during college I became more like them and came to value love, respect, compassion, helping others... I thank them for that. I don't care about designer bags, or status symbols. I know if I end up with a daughter we will have some big fights. Thankfully, I chose to buy a house in a professional, generally high income neighborhood, but it's where the non flashy well off live, people here drive average priced American cars, dress casual, and don't "act" rich, the kids tend to reflect that. Here the emphasis is on community, family, and being there for your neighbors.
The ostentatious wealthy live a few miles north, the median income is the same, or even a bit lower than where I live, but they all care about driving BMWs, $1000+ bags, designer everything, and care more about competing with their neighbors than helping them. Some of those kids are BRATS, I listen to them in the stores talking down to the salespeople, and I want to smack them. They seem to think they DESERVE everything, they don't get that someone worked for that money, and they are just born lucky, they didn't do anything to deserve what they have. These kids are what I think of when someone says "spoiled."
I think Bethenny will make sure Brynn has a good life and many nice things, but I think she will also teach Brynn the value of money, and that it comes from hard work.
I come from old money, so my parents weren't pretentious. They just bought quality. But I didn't get what I wanted. I got what they wanted to give me. And they didn't flaunt their money nor would they ever allow me to do so.
A child throwing a tantrum to get what she wants is unacceptable. If my daughter did that I would make sure she didn't get it. Period. And being condescending to a retail worker or waitress wasn't acceptable to my parents and it is not acceptable to me. And they didn't live on plastic. In fact they have none. Every car they own was bought with cash.
I guess I'm trying to make the point that just because someone has money it doesn't mean they are spoiled. That's an enormous misconception.
My guess is Bethenny may be a good parent because she know this. Money and things are nothing. She already saw what throwing money at a child to shut them up does. When your child says "mama" for the first time and it sends you over the moon then you know she's on the right road.
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