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Ok, but her husband's employer? Talk about six degrees of separation.
That's odd that her husband's employer should get involved.
I wonder if there are any legal risks.
Yeah, her husbands employer. People are an integral part of a company, especially if it's a small one. Sometimes you have to intervene for the good of all. It seems complicated though.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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I would not want an abuser working for me. If I really believed that someone was abusing his wife (or child, or husband, whatever), I'd get rid of them. I don't care how good an employee they are. As an employee, I would be afraid to work with a violent person. I mean, workplace violence is a thing.
I have worked in several positions where I had ethical standards to adhere to or I risked termination. Abusers are not a protected class.
12 or so years ago I worked with an abused wife - all the classic signs.... bruises on the wrists where he twisted her arms, shadows on the neck and cheeks, he had to know where she was at all times - called constantly. Her supervisor answered the phone one day and chewed him out because she was in a training class all day and couldn't be interrupted. He shouted back at her. The next day we could see marks on her neck and wrist. She wouldn't leave him. Got pregnant with their 2nd child and we all worried how he would react. One night the doo-doo hit the fan. He smacked her in the head, knocking her down and almost unconscious. Their 4 year old son was there and saw the whole thing - he went to the phone and called his Pa-Pa - her dad and her parents came and got her - took her to the hospital and had her checked out - then they moved her and the boy into their house and filed a restraining order against him. He was served at his job - and almost lost his job. His company ordered him into counseling and set him straight. His FIL informed him he was putting cameras in their house (of course she went back to him) and if he saw anything he would come over with his gun. He meant it. the last I heard things were finally right with them.
we tried and tried to talk her into leaving him but she "loved" him and "couldn't " be without him....
I would not want an abuser working for me. If I really believed that someone was abusing his wife (or child, or husband, whatever), I'd get rid of them. I don't care how good an employee they are. As an employee, I would be afraid to work with a violent person. I mean, workplace violence is a thing.
I have worked in several positions where I had ethical standards to adhere to or I risked termination. Abusers are not a protected class.
Ok, I get it.
But what you believe, and what you can prove are two different things. I wouldn't fire someone based on a rumor.
what kind of business goes to a guy's employer about this? why didn't they try to help the woman?
If you want to do something, research local groups that help women in abusive relationships, and get the info to her privately. If she'd been in this kind of relationship before, she probably feels like there are no other options, and desperately needs help to get out.
They asked her if she needed support that they have a group and they are there to help her.
This is an open forum and every person can have an opinion.
I don't see any benefits to her if she will start putting her nose in to this family. Wife is not from the jungles and she can go to the police without op's help. A person I know also intervened and after a week found her dog hanged on a tree. Do you really want it to happen to the OP?
So you know this family? The education they have? Work they've done? Religion?
I also know a person that didn't help out and he beat his wife so bad she had a miscarriage. I've also heard of women beat to death. You want to talk BS "what if's" or solve a problem?
Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 12-23-2017 at 10:23 PM..
Reason: Personal attack.
It is my business as he is an employee. I care about him and his family.
I would try to approach your employee during a break or after work as if by chance and start making a small talk about his work and then casually ask about his family,not even about his wife at first- his
parents? Kids? As if you are trying to get to know him better by making a chit chat. Maybe even better in a group of other coworkers when everyone is saying something about their family, etc.
Do it a few times to get the feel of the man, his education level, his temperament, how open he is, what makes him tick. Is it possibly he has depression? Has problems with drugs or alcohol?
Depending how large or small your business or how informal/ formal relationship between coworkers, management- you do need to know what your people are capable of doing- this is the time we live in. Depending on a line of your business it could backfire in a smaller town.
Imagine the worst and how your company name for all the wrong reasons is in the news associated with him/ his actions.
Try to get to know him better. You may find something about him that make him potentially undesirable employee for different reasons. Scout social media as well for him and family to get a better idea of his domestic life.
If those other businesses trying to mention something again about your employee’s domestic situation advise them to get child protective services involved, church leaders, maybe police.
In our litigious society once the cat is out of the bag for your company- you must do at least something- you can treat your getting to know him as “ your internal investigation”.
Listen on how his coworkers talk about a man- you can not hide from people, and sometime you can get a feel from them if the person is potentially a bad news for your business.
You said you care about his family- maybe it is still time the employee could be gently guided, helped by advice, or by you showing interest in him, his family, his future. If he is young and grew up with violence and did not learn any coping mechanism when overwhelmed, depressed, draining in bills, uneducated- he still could be helped. Even having general conversation with all your employees about respecting every coworker on and off work and professional non- violent environment and all your employees expected to be on their best behavior even after hours as a part of your corporate image.
Good luck
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mochamajesty
Ok, I get it.
But what you believe, and what you can prove are two different things. I wouldn't fire someone based on a rumor.
I'd go so far as to say it doesn't matter what I believe, and proof is irrelevant outside a court of law. If employees and/or customers believe someone is a violent offender, that employee would have to go. It's all about perception and reputation.
People lose their jobs all the time, for far less.
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