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I think the only thing you can do, with out endangering her, or clueing him in, which would endanger her is possibly hold a staff wide meeting about the various mental health help that is available today. Be very general, talk about depression and the opiate problem, and abuse. Include everything, and he won’t singled out. Provide a packet to take home with phone numbers.
I know that the best thing is to mind your own business. You can only lose. Let's say you will get him fired and the family will lose its main income. Who do you think she will hate? Who do you think may find herself with a dead cat or a burned house?
This not just serpous. This is very very serious. Did you ask your family, your parents, your siblings, your kids if they are ok with entering into a severe conflict with violent people and their relatives and friends? Do you really think that your acts will have no consequences?
I really cannot understand this kind of people. [snip]
I'll take that chance if I see the need to do something. Until then, I keep my eyes wide open.
"Lets just say..." Enough with the "what if" BS. I've found a job for every person that I have had to let go. It was up to them to take the opportunity.
I'm their boss and friend. I'm not a POS that is more worried about what will happen to me when it comes to situations like this. They are people, not just employee's. I care about them.
Mod cut: Orphaned (reply to comments which have been deleted).
You shouldn't be dealing with this. Spousal abuse is a volatile situation and your good intentions can make the problem worse. Any overture you make to your employee is likely to result in additional abuse of his wife. She needs professional help, not your inserting yourself into this situation.
Talk to the counselor when s/he returns about the specifics and any way s/he can provide the woman with more information about available resources.
Why don't you contact a battered spouse help center in your region and ask them for advice? They should have a much better grasp of what resources are available, and of what is effective versus ineffective or even dangerous.
I worked for a husband and wife team in a relatively small office.
They pulled me aside and said they were very worried about me, and how long has my husband been hitting me?
I'm like WTH?!!!!
I had a brown mark on my forehead, which they thought was a bruise, and it had darkened from the sun.
I found out they also wanted to do an intervention because they thought I had bulemia. I kept saying, no, my stomach hurts, and that was making me vomit. They did not believe me. Turns out I had a bile duct blockage.
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I'll take that chance if I see the need to do something. Until then, I keep my eyes wide open.
"Lets just say..." Enough with the "what if" BS. I've found a job for every person that I have had to let go. It was up to them to take the opportunity.
I'm their boss and friend. I'm not a POS that is more worried about what will happen to me when it comes to situations like this. They are people, not just employee's. I care about them.
[snip]
I have an advice for you: Always separate friends and business. Your employees maybe smile at you but most of the chances that they are doing it to not get fired.
If I see my manager starting to ask me questions about my personal life and "if I'm beating my wife", I will walk out of the door at the same moment. Because this is my personal life and if, for example, Mod cut.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 12-23-2017 at 10:47 PM..
Reason: Trolling.
My opinion here is not going to be popular at all ...
If you have no physical evidence he hits her, I would say mind your own business.
Accusing someone of domestic violence can easily get messy. You might end up triggering more damage to her than you think, especially if the husband is actually abusive and she refuses to leave him. The abuse might wind up getting worse for her. Be careful where you step in.
This is not your marriage nor is it your business to report it unless you've seen this individual hit her or if she confides in your.
I understand your concerns are coming from a genuine place, but this is definitely not your business. What happens in their marriage is their business.
I have to go with this as well. Especially since the employees reporting this are in tears over "they can just tell". If someone has an emotional reaction that brings them to tears, I would think more examples would be given.
Could be a situation they just don't like the guy, and the wife is traditional (stay at home wife, and declines social plans with them that involve situations that are more geared to people that are single) and they view as domestic violence.
Professionally speaking, tread carefully with this. Ask for evidence, if none is provided, move on.
I have an advice for you: Always separate friends and business. Your employees maybe smile at you but most of the chances that they are doing it to not get fired.
If I see my manager starting to ask me questions about my personal life and "if I'm beating my wife", I will walk out of the door at the same moment. Because this is my personal life and if, for example, [snip]
Good advice. A lot of business owners work long hours become isolated at their business and their employees become their friends. But unlike a regular friendship one friend has the power to fire the other friend at will. As well as the whole sexual harassment thing its just better to keep a distance from your employees. Sure if they need a draw against their paycheck or some problem you might be able to assist with of course. I have learned over the years to keep a distance. Early on I got burned by employees I thought were my friend and I left my guard down. Unfortunately your motivation of having a friend and their motivation of befriending you might be for very different reasons. Their personal life should be none of your concern.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 12-23-2017 at 10:48 PM..
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