Need help, strong possibility that employee hitting wife

[Electrician4you]

Originally Posted by Humble and Kind

If in wrong place, please move to correct place. Thank you!


It has come to my attention that an employee(male) has hit his wife and it has been noticed by others also. The people that can tell are women, some of them have been in the same situation. "We could tell", "I could tell it's been happening". Both of these have been told to me today.

They also told me not to say anything as it will make it worse for her.

How can I help? How do I approach him about this?

You don’t

Unless the act is happening in your premises and they are both workers at your business and it’s happening during work hours

Other than that.....you legally can’t do anything. Morally? Sure you can indirectly do something.

You can get a company that has presentations on work place/home violence, rape, assaults, DUIs etc . Now nothing stops you from saying if any employee is accused or has a run in with the law on drugs, violence, DUI, assaults, can be let go. It’s a direct take notice kind of statement.

[fly_me]

Women like that need a place to stay if they are *ready to leave. And most do not want to go to a shelter but a safe home of a friend or even a kind stranger. This Is what she needs. When people speak of phone numbers and all that - it is just going to forward you to a huge room with 100s of battered women. Why cant people just be human and put up the lady if she is nice and not a drug user -- what's the issue? That is help.

[Electrician4you]

Originally Posted by fly_me

Women like that need a place to stay if they are *ready to leave. And most do not want to go to a shelter but a safe home of a friend or even a kind stranger. This Is what she needs. When people speak of phone numbers and all that - it is just going to forward you to a huge room with 100s of battered women. Why cant people just be human and put up the lady if she is nice and not a drug user -- what's the issue? That is help.

While that’s noble, it puts you in a direct collision with a nutcase. Your gesture may be with good intentions but when that guy is outside your door screaming like a lunatic or breaks in your house because he thinks you’re popping his wife or she’s cheating on him, you’ll have a issue. If you think you can handle such event or possibly multiple events then do it. Remember that most likely she will need a TRO and a RO to prohibit him from coming near her. And plenty of women have RO’s and the guy ends up beating them or killing them. Plenty of examples out there of such instances.

IMO anyone can offer help if that’s what they want. But help by taking her to a abuse center where she can get real help from people equipped to handle such cases. I don’t think it has anything with being human or compassion thing. Most people while well meaning are simply not equipped to handle such thing. And the victim has to want to get away from the abuser. If that desire isn’t there the victim will just run back to the abuser. I have friends who are cops and one of their most dangerous calls are domestic disturbance calls. When she sees the man that she loves getting led away in cuffs some women attack the cops.

[bande1102]

Originally Posted by Humble and Kind

I'm their boss and friend. I'm not a POS that is more worried about what will happen to me when it comes to situations like this. They are people, not just employee's. I care about them.

Eh, bosses aren't friends to their employees simply because of the imbalance of power. Friendly? Sure. Friends? Nope.

Unless you've got the education and training, you're not qualified to assess the situation. For this specific situation, you could contact local law enforcement or social services and ask them for guidance and/or resources. My local area has a church that offers resources so perhaps that would be an option.