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I talked to my sister today--we won't even go there! I really have to think the drugs they have her on have totally destroyed her. She is not the sister I remember...sigh...good old "Big Pharma"--anything to make money!
Anyhow I am looking forward to this day coming to an end---I have kept busy and done what I set out to do. I made my fresh applesauce and then froze it in serving size packages, listed a few items and sent off a few items that I sold. So all in all I have done what I set out to do. Even though I know my sister is so out there it still hurts me when she says stupid things...and the worst part is I know I am right and she has serious problems and I do pray for her and feel sad for her but still she is my older sister whom I have always looked up to so it is heartbreaking when I fell like I have not made her happy. But tomorrow she will say a whole different story and apologize for what she said today...boy I need to get a thicker skin. Come on God--really? I don't need to be so sensitive do I?? I do have to laugh at myself even through the hurt! Who ever said life would be easy?
So I called my oldest sister--she is amazing! The best of the best and I feel so much better. I love her so much and miss her even more! Hopefully someday soon we will get to visit in person!
Good morning everyone! DH had another bad evening with his breathing. I'm thinking he is going to require more time on his ventilator during the day and evening and I know he does not want to have to do that. It makes it so he can't hear much or even do much while he has it on. But if he wants to breath then it just might have to be the answer--we'll see. Another rainy day here and quite windy! Looks like a good day to stay indoors! Hope you all have a lovely day!
Last edited by cynwldkat; 10-08-2013 at 06:46 AM..
Location: Finally made it to Florida and lovin' every minute!
22,677 posts, read 19,267,642 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cynwldkat
I talked to my sister today--we won't even go there! I really have to think the drugs they have her on have totally destroyed her. She is not the sister I remember...sigh...good old "Big Pharma"--anything to make money!
Anyhow I am looking forward to this day coming to an end---I have kept busy and done what I set out to do. I made my fresh applesauce and then froze it in serving size packages, listed a few items and sent off a few items that I sold. So all in all I have done what I set out to do. Even though I know my sister is so out there it still hurts me when she says stupid things...and the worst part is I know I am right and she has serious problems and I do pray for her and feel sad for her but still she is my older sister whom I have always looked up to so it is heartbreaking when I fell like I have not made her happy. But tomorrow she will say a whole different story and apologize for what she said today...boy I need to get a thicker skin. Come on God--really? I don't need to be so sensitive do I?? I do have to laugh at myself even through the hurt! Who ever said life would be easy?
Funny, Cyn, but I had a similar conversation with The Big Guy this morning.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cynwldkat
So I called my oldest sister--she is amazing! The best of the best and I feel so much better. I love her so much and miss her even more! Hopefully someday soon we will get to visit in person!
I'm the oldest of 3 girls and I feel the same way about my baby sis. I wish she could visit more often. Now would be a good time.
Sometimes I think God has me mixed up with someone else--you know--that tuff girl! I keep thinking he really can't think I can keep doing this..but apparently he does so all I can do is try!
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cynwldkat
Sometimes I think God has me mixed up with someone else--you know--that tuff girl! I keep thinking he really can't think I can keep doing this..but apparently he does so all I can do is try!
That plan gives us all additional stress ("all I can do is try"),
30+ yrs of caregiving for a disabled parent did teach me to "Trust", and quit "Trying". (but it still took it's toll). I still find myself "TRY-ing" when I expect I can succeed by my own strength. ... Until I get beat up enough to Trust, again.... (I'm a very slow learner) My parent hated every second of my care, but I just kept caring, not possible by my own strength. It took off some of my rough edges.
Abandonment to SELF is not an ez task and requires daily doses of attention.
Best of endurance / trust, one minute / one task at a time. Tomorrow may certainly be a tougher challenge, but you are only called to get through today.
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I do have to laugh at myself even through the hurt! Who ever said life would be easy?
My parent hated every second of my care, but I just kept caring, not possible by my own strength. It took off some of my rough edges.
could be your door matt cyn. 
