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AMEN TO THIS. Lots of folks think it's some sort of honor - till they have to do it. WHAT A HARD ENDEAVOR IT OFTEN IS. And it takes often several years of work and lots of documentation, record keeping, and attention to detail. Taxes, property sales, etc. If you don't think you can commit to several years of this sort of thing (not to mention the emotional side of it and dealing with other family members) then be sure you tell this to whoever thinks they are honoring you with this level of trust and get someone else lined up to do it. It's a massive job.
That may be true but one alternative is if your parent has already spent/lost all their money it is very easy. Have an estate sale or pay someone to haul it away...have the lawyer send letters to everyone that there's no money to be had...the end.
That may be true but one alternative is if your parent has already spent/lost all their money it is very easy. Have an estate sale or pay someone to haul it away...have the lawyer send letters to everyone that there's no money to be had...the end.
Right. If there's no money and very little property. That's not always the case.
Heck, when my mom sold her house that's exactly what we did by the way but it was still a huge endeavor because we had to go through everything - and in the process found out that my parents really are hoarders - my dad was just a very organized hoarder, to an extent. But some stuff was totally random. For instance, we found my brother's original adoption papers in the bottom of a broken filing cabinet in the garage, under neath old Christmas wrapping paper. I also found over 2000 slides of just about every birthday, holiday, and vacation in our family over about 20 years - those were in two weird looking boxes stuck underneath a stack of cleaning supplies - and I don't even think my dad knew he still had them because for several years he'd been complaining about how his slides had "disappeared in a move,: No, they hadn't - he just couldn't keep up with all their stuff stuff stuff stuff stuff.
So we still had to go through every file, every drawer, every box, every closet, every nook and cranny, with a fine tooth comb. It was tough - and emotional.
Me, I want the Assisted Living! If I can afford it.
Me too! I like meeting new people and having stuff to do. I imagine it akin to being at our timeshare, except someone will be emptying my Foley every morning.
LOL I am LIVING this "opposite problem." It's tough. But after living through absolutely zero communication or legal paperwork straight, and the deaths of two very unorganized "paper hoarders" who kept everything but in absolutely no order, I prefer the overload of information and documentation over chaos.
Were our dads brothers? Because my dad always told me he was an only child...
Maybe they were yin and yang. Oh there probably was organization, it just wasn't YOUR style of organization. Reminds me of a favorite quote from Tolkien's Fellowship of the Ring. Gandalf described Barliman Butterbur, a tavernkeeper, thus "His mind is like a lumber room....thing wanted, always buried."
At least mine restricted his hoarding to a townhome, not 2 barns! Yours was an overachiever!
Last edited by Parnassia; 09-07-2017 at 02:43 PM..
Maybe they were yin and yang. Oh there probably was organization, it just wasn't YOUR style of organization. Reminds me of a favorite quote from Tolkien's Fellowship of the Ring. Gandalf described Barliman Butterbur, a tavernkeeper, thus "His mind is like a lumber room....thing wanted, always buried."
At least mine restricted his hoarding to a townhome, not 2 barns! Yours was an overachiever!
Oh in so many ways. Two very large barns, three big houses, a guest house, a smaller barn, and two sheds. Let me see if I can count the vehicles...8 vehicles. A business. Property in two states.
Oh, and a wife who can't drive, who's got bipolar disorder, a mended hip that requires a cane, a stroke that has affected her vision and balance, and vascular dementia. Can't leave her out of the equation of "barely contained chaos!"
Please tell me this is a joke. Seriously, I hope it is.
I wish it were. Not sure why you think that can't happen. My Aunt stayed with her on weekends and she hadn't yet gotten a caregiver for the rest of the time. There was no life alert then. If there were she might not have known yet she needed one.
I wish it were. Not sure why you think that can't happen. My Aunt stayed with her on weekends and she hadn't yet gotten a caregiver for the rest of the time. There was no life alert then. If there were she might not have known yet she needed one.
I didn't say I didn't believe it. I was just hoping it was a joke. Drinking toilet water for a week to survive is beyond horrible!
I didn't say I didn't believe it. I was just hoping it was a joke. Drinking toilet water for a week to survive is beyond horrible!
Gotcha. Yeah, that is pretty terrible.
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