Areas for not-so-gay gays (Chicago, Naperville: homes, neighborhood, high school)

[JacksonPanther]

Originally Posted by aragx6

You don't hold hands?

I don't really get this not-so-gay gay thing. Being in a relationship with someone of the same sex makes you gay. It sounds like self-loathing to try and qualify yourself as not all that gay. I'm not sure where you've lived before but Chicagoans are a pretty live-and-let-live group. Most couldn't care less and you won't have any problems in the vast majority of Chicagoland's desirable suburbs.

Yeah, if someone asked me where a couple who is Black but "not so Black" should live, I would be hard pressed to answer in a non-sarcastic manner.

Two white men can live pretty much anywhere in Chicagoland you damn well please. You don't have to worry about any particular suburb being unaccepting - just pick whatever suburb you want.

If you never hold hands, people might not even know you're gay. They may assume you're roommates.

[j_cat]

Originally Posted by JacksonPanther

Two white men can live pretty much anywhere in Chicagoland you damn well please. You don't have to worry about any particular suburb being unaccepting - just pick whatever suburb you want.

If you never hold hands, people might not even know you're gay. They may assume you're roommates.

There's a definite undertone here, whether intentional or not. Unfortunately it's not all as easy and breezy as you might think. For starters, let's just say that "the ability to hide" is not all it's cracked up to be, especially when it all too often becomes the need to hide.

</soapbox>

[linicx]

I don't think its too hard to understand.

The low key gay guy or gal that doesn't broadcast by action or dress, and prefers a quiet family lifestyle is a lot less obvious than the flaming queen and his 6'2" gay partner that wears a sequined dress and size 13 stiletto heels, and spends way too much time in Boystown trying to score.

Low key gay and lesbian couples are not easy to spot unless you are in a study group or in the mall "people" watching.

Originally Posted by aragx6

You don't hold hands?

I don't really get this not-so-gay gay thing. Being in a relationship with someone of the same sex makes you gay. It sounds like self-loathing to try and qualify yourself as not all that gay. I'm not sure where you've lived before but Chicagoans are a pretty live-and-let-live group. Most couldn't care less and you won't have any problems in the vast majority of Chicagoland's desirable suburbs.

I like the suburbs along the BNSF Metra line in DuPage county to start. Some of them will price you out, but they have the feel i think you're really looking for.

[urza216]

Originally Posted by linicx

I don't think its too hard to understand.

The low key gay guy or gal that doesn't broadcast by action or dress, and prefers a quiet family lifestyle is a lot less obvious than the flaming queen and his 6'2" gay partner that wears a sequined dress and size 13 stiletto heels, and spends way too much time in Boystown trying to score.

Low key gay and lesbian couples are not easy to spot unless you are in a study group or in the mall "people" watching.

Yes, the OP is saying they are gay but they don't act like a stereotype. Kinda like a young black man who doesn't listen to Lil Wayne, wear his baggy jeans below his butt, tote a 45 caliber pistol and spend way too much time in the ghetto selling drugs. haha, that's so offensive, lmao. I like how you specified the size of his heels. The part I don't get is why he is trying to score in Boystown if he already has a partner..?

[ToriaT]

I live in Wheaton and have met quite a few gay guy couples who live here. I think most would say its really conservative but it seems some are happy here. Its quiet, there is a lot of nature and running trails and most people are nice.

[Chicago60614]

Originally Posted by aragx6

You don't hold hands?

I don't really get this not-so-gay gay thing. Being in a relationship with someone of the same sex makes you gay. It sounds like self-loathing to try and qualify yourself as not all that gay. I'm not sure where you've lived before but Chicagoans are a pretty live-and-let-live group. Most couldn't care less and you won't have any problems in the vast majority of Chicagoland's desirable suburbs.

I like the suburbs along the BNSF Metra line in DuPage county to start. Some of them will price you out, but they have the feel i think you're really looking for.

It's exactly what the OP said it was. You say you're gay and want to move to an open area, and everyone starts screaming about boystown. I know plenty of gay singles and couples who can't stand going to boystown. Too many bars, too loud, too much traffic....just too GAY in your face. I'm gay and make a point not to live in boystown, because sometimes it's just too gay gay gay all the time. I mean I'm there all the time and I really love that neigbhorhood, but sometimes it's just a little too much energy for me. It's also quite young, mostly 20's and 30's.

It's not self loathing at all, that's silly. That's like saying if you're a 22 year old college student and don't want to live along Lincoln Ave in Lincoln Park or hang out in Wrigleyville every night than you're ashamed of the fact you're in college.

Anyway - I have quite a few friend who are gay and live in the suburbs. Not sure where the OP is from, but almost any suburb would be fine as far as a couple of gays living nextdoor. Most of my friends in the burbs roll their eyes at the thought of hitting the bars in boystown, and some just won't go at all. It's all a person choice of course. Point being...look at some nicer areas with decent downtowns and stuff within walking distance that appeal to you, and don't really worry about the gay part. That'll work out fine wherever.

[sunnyandcloudydays]

I might suggest Homewood for you two as Urza did.

In my observations most if not all people are accepting of a same sex couple in the Homewood area.

After all it is 2012 and not 1982 , I would not really worry about getting to many weird looks.

I to am a bit surprised by the not so gay -gay comment.
Are you from an area that was unaccepting of same sex relationships?

Pretty sad if that is the case and I am sure you would find the Chicago area more welecoming to your tastes.

Good luck to both of you and do check out the Homewood area its walkable and has a few nice restaurants and has nice forest preserves around the area.

It's about 35 or 40 mins on Metra to the Millenium station from Homewood.
It also has excellant access to major expressways.

It's a great location to get about anyplace in the metro area.

Like alot of places its not perfect but it has a lot to offer.

[Letsgononrev]

To clarify for the few blowing this out of proportion....

Several posts I see automatically think we're going to be holding hands strolling down the street, having raves in our backyard, flying a rainbow flag infront of our house, etc....

I was merely trying to express that we're not that type of gay couple. We're not looking to hide who we are, but we're also not looking to rub it in everyone's face. We're low key. We just want an area that's welcoming, plain and simple and isn't going to be completely destroyed that they have gay neighbors, or in the future, gays with kids.

I don't expect everyone to understand, and if you have a problem with me considering myself a "not so gay, gay", then keep your opinion to yourself. This post is about getting recommendations about an area, not me defending who I am to people that don't like it, gay or not gay.

Thanks to all the supportive responses, greatly appreciated!

[Aleking]

i get it and the answer is Evanston/Oak Park. All the rest might as well be Alabama

[knitgirl]

Originally Posted by Aleking

i get it and the answer is Evanston/Oak Park. All the rest might as well be Alabama

DIsagree completely! I think what most of us have been saying is that there are gay couples ALL OVER the Chicago area. I know of several here in Elgin and it's certainly not a trendy or Boystown type of place, maybe it appeals to the urban pioneering type who can get a great house for less than 1/2 what you'd pay somewhere more upscale.

At any rate, I would repeat my advice that I gave on page 1 to look at suburbs that have the other things on your list and you'll be fine. I am REALLY curious - where are you moving from?