Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
What in the world is wrong with math and Spanish tutors? Also, you don't have to be an elite soccer league to have practices several nights a week. Wrestling, swimming, basketball, baseball, karate, dance - all of them hold practices several nights per week. What is a parent to do? Stop the kids from participating?
Yes, cut down on them. Leave one activity that the kid particularly loves. Apart from that, just let the kids have their free time: read, meet with friends, ride their bikes, go to the movies, have a nap... whatever, instead of dragging them from one heavily adult-monitored activity to another. Both kids and parents would benefit from a slower lifestyle.
I remember even back in the 80's there was a sense of optimism and wonder about the future, whereas nowadays pretty much everyone's vision of the future is that things are going to get a lot worse before they get any better. That lack of real hope about the future has got to take its toll on our national psyche.
Yes, cut down on them. Leave one activity that the kid particularly loves. Apart from that, just let the kids have their free time: read, meet with friends, ride their bikes, go to the movies, have a nap... whatever, instead of dragging them from one heavily adult-monitored activity to another. Both kids and parents would benefit from a slower lifestyle.
Even if you only do one activity, practices are 2-4 nights per week for most of them. Meet with friends? Most of their friends have activities too. We do go to the movies and read.
Yes, cut down on them. Leave one activity that the kid particularly loves. Apart from that, just let the kids have their free time: read, meet with friends, ride their bikes, go to the movies, have a nap... whatever, instead of dragging them from one heavily adult-monitored activity to another. Both kids and parents would benefit from a slower lifestyle.
I agree kids need free time but these days too much free time leads to kids getting in trouble.
The best way to keep them on the right track is to keep them involved in the right stuff.
My gkid is into football, basketball, track and boxing. Its tough on me but the alternative is him sitting at home by himself doing nothing which is what he did everyday when he lived with his mom. We are in a rural area and these activities are the only way he has to socialize with friends out of school. It also teaches him team work and communication skills, not to mention exercise. He is learning too that when these activities overlap, it is too much and he has to make a decision on which activity he wants to focus on and which he may have to drop, so he is also learning some personal responsibility/decision making skills.
Since coming to live with me he has lost 30lbs., is in great shape, has lots of friends, brought up his grades and has a much better overall attitude. A lot of this I attribute to his involvement in sport and school activities.
I wanted to add something about children's activities since that seems to be a popular target in these discussions.
Kids today don't play outside like they did in past generations. And its not because they are rotting away inside playing video games. Many of these kids are at daycares, after school programs. With the proliferation of Stranger Danger, so many modern parents are afraid to give their children free rein to play outside. So, most kids are involved in one activity or another and that is where children socialize today. As a parent, if I decide to stop activities, I am also choosing to stop socialization with their friends.
I wish life was like it was in decades past where dozens of kids would be playing outside, mom could stay home and clean, cook and take care of her family. (Or dad of course!) And lets not blame modern strides in equal rights or feminism. The need to constantly go, go, go lies squarely at the feet of TPTB that have made it necessary to work two full time jobs to survive.
Agreed. When my kids were first old enough to play outside on their own I excitedly sent them out - I was not going to be one of those parents who scheduled my children. Well, my kids were outside - and no one else was there. Like you said, all of the other kids were in daycare or in activities. The park was empty (and terribly boring). There was no one around to play tag with, or ride bikes with, or hide and seek...so we started scheduling activities. I do my best to find balance (each kid is allowed 2 activities), but it isn't like it was when we were kids.
As far as two working parents go, I really feel parents can't win. Families that opt to have just one parent work are vilified for poor choices when the breadwinner in the family loses their job, and women who opt to stay home but find themselves divorced and in financial straits with no retirement account of their own are also told basically that they made their bed and must lie in it. You're damned if you both work and damned if you don't, it seems.
As a related concept I dislike the term Free-Range Parenting. I thought it was how pre-adults are shaped out of children. You know, teach them basics, right/wrong, basic safety, and allow them to develop their own personalities with peers and elders.
We used to call boys Mama's Boys who always had a hovering mother.
As kids we were kept busy with homework + additional home schooling mandatory by Mom. We lived in Miami so we all went to swimming classes to avoid drowning at events. There was a bit of neighborhood parent peer pressure so we did little league stuff whether we wanted to or not. But at about 6-7th grade it was all on your own so long as you did well at school and took care of whatever was demanded around the house. Nice life too. Then we all worked at age 16 as was expected of High School kids then whose parents were not affluent. I think it made for great shaping into adults the progressive independence and responsiblity and rewards for success.
My mom was the original soccer mom. We were in swimming, dance, gymnastics, softball and baton twirling. Oh, and there were five of us. My brother was also in basketball and wrestling.
Looking bad, my parents were stressed and miserable and it's no surprise. All they did after work was drive kids around from one activity to another. I don't remember ever spending quality time with them, just hanging out. I also don't remember just going over to a friend's house to do whatever. It was constantly go go go. Also, we never went on vacations. In retrospect, I think they sank every last dime into all those sports and activities.
Now, don't get me wrong, I recognize that they had the best of intentions. One of my siblings was the type that definitely needed to be busy to stay out of trouble. But guess what? As soon as she moved out, she became a drug-addicted stripper. So there's that.
My kids are way more relaxed. They are in a few activities, but not a lot. Last night, they spent the evening playing chess and then watching Doctor Who. We spend a lot of time together as a family. I know everyone makes their own choices, but the stress level in my home is very low, just the way I like it.
There was a guy on one of the city forums I read lately where an elite youth soccer club was a requirement. Ridiculous.
It may be ridiculous for some, but my manager, who has 5 kids, has put his first two through elite colleges with soccer scholarships. His kids were in the high travel soccer clubs, he was all over the place every weekend. But not having to pay for two scholarships and possibly 3 more may be worth it.
My mom was the original soccer mom. We were in swimming, dance, gymnastics, softball and baton twirling. Oh, and there were five of us. My brother was also in basketball and wrestling.
Looking bad, my parents were stressed and miserable and it's no surprise. All they did after work was drive kids around from one activity to another. I don't remember ever spending quality time with them, just hanging out. I also don't remember just going over to a friend's house to do whatever. It was constantly go go go. Also, we never went on vacations. In retrospect, I think they sank every last dime into all those sports and activities.
Now, don't get me wrong, I recognize that they had the best of intentions. One of my siblings was the type that definitely needed to be busy to stay out of trouble. But guess what? As soon as she moved out, she became a drug-addicted stripper. So there's that.
My kids are way more relaxed. They are in a few activities, but not a lot. Last night, they spent the evening playing chess and then watching Doctor Who. We spend a lot of time together as a family. I know everyone makes their own choices, but the stress level in my home is very low, just the way I like it.
This is the way I am with my three kids. Amazingly, all my kids enjoy staying home. My oldest, a junior in HS, is well on her way to an academic scholarship. Hope the next two will have the same opportunity as well.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Also, you don't have to be an elite soccer league to have practices several nights a week. Wrestling, swimming, basketball, baseball, karate, dance - all of them hold practices several nights per week. What is a parent to do? Stop the kids from participating?
