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You're right. But I'm not clear if it was punishment or more likely a total lack of interest in problem solving, or imagination. I think the administrators were stupid, boring, limited people.
And that brings up the question that I keep wondering about (doubt anybody would have a definitive answer): do schools punish the bullying victims and not the bully because:
1. They want to encourage bullying, for whatever reason
2. They connect more with the bully
3. They think they are punishing the right person, but they are just incompetent at determining who is guilty
4. They are just lazy, and are looking for the easiest path possible
In the case I mentioned where the assistant principal told me I was "acting like a baby", it was clear that he wanted to give the appearance of giving lip service to bullying without actually doing anything about it.
I have no respect for the public schools my children attended for the way they handled 'situations', everybody was written up and I as a parent was supposed to be grateful that the write up or punishment for the fight, for example, the aggressor was harsher than for the kid defending himself.
zero tolerance. OK, I get that. But that means the teacher, school police, administration has to take up the burden/responsibility of stopping the event immediately. Which they don't. They let it play out then write both kids up in their permanent record.
In June 1971 I tried that and got taken to the principal's office. Imagine how much worse it would be in today's PC environment? In June 1972 I was dealing with someone fighting me with a bicycle chain. Was I supposed to dodge the chain and hope I hit him between swings?
Exactly! Which brings up the question: how should somebody handle bullying? I am only aware of 3 possibilities with equally poor results:
1. Tell an adult: the adult will likely ignore it, and tell you to "stay away from him" or "I didn't see it". The bullying will not stop. And, if it's a school that punishes everybody, you will likely get punished.
2. Fight back: Obviously a bad idea if the bully is significantly bigger or stronger, or if an individual is being bullied by a group. Also, how do you "fight back" if the bullying is not physical? Also, unfortunately results in punishment for the person who fights back. Often, that punishment disproportionately punishes high achieving students, such as disqualification from honor roll or ineligibility for extra-curricular activities. Often, that is exactly what the bully wants, and is trying to bait the victim into fighting back so that he/she gets in trouble.
3. Do nothing: not likely to stop the bullying. And, eventually, the victim will reach his breaking point, and will end up with either #1 or 2 above.
Schools have bullying policies and teachers themselves will be held accountable if students report bullying to them and they do not act on it. This is not the 1970's. Good schools take bullying seriously. Schools that make the news, and apparently, this forum, are the ones that have the "punish all" doctrine. I don't think that's the norm.
When bullies are identified, how are they punished?
Punishment is not the key issue, at least in the beginning of the process. There are two slightly different strategies that KiVa™ teams might use when tackling bullying cases; we call them “confronting” and “non-confronting” approaches. Without going into detail, both approaches are based on the idea that the bullying students themselves, after discussion with KiVa™ team members, suggest how they will change their behavior. After one or two weeks, there is a follow-up in which the adults make sure that bullying has stopped. Punishments may come if these approaches fail, but in most cases the situation has improved by the time of the follow-up meeting. The kind of punishment used varies across schools.
Schools have bullying policies and teachers themselves will be held accountable if students report bullying to them and they do not act on it. This is not the 1970's. Good schools take bullying seriously. Schools that make the news, and apparently, this forum, are the ones that have the "punish all" doctrine. I don't think that's the norm.
Again, the whole premise of this thread is adults that are unwilling or unable to stop bullying, and/or where a punish all doctrine exists either on paper or in practice. Especially cases where punishments are designed (whether intentionally or not) to disproportionately punish the high achieving students.
Again, the whole premise of this thread is adults that are unwilling or unable to stop bullying, and/or where a punish all doctrine exists either on paper or in practice. Especially cases where punishments are designed (whether intentionally or not) to disproportionately punish the high achieving students.
I get the premise of the thread. I think it should maybe say, "If this was 1970 and there was a bully, what would you do?" Nothing wrong with going over the bad old days or talking about school districts that are backwards, but in the schools my kids have gone through, bullying is addressed,there are policies to deal with it and consequences for the bullies.
Most kids who do retaliate against bullies are punished. It is typical that bullies are rarely punished for their actions. We have a bully culture that enables and rewards bullies.
In my school, boys would try to beat up girls as well as other boys. Even girls who were younger and smaller than they were. I remember one guy, his name was Carr, and he would hit me in math class. He was a year older than me and a head taller - he was 14 years old. I think he hit girls because he was too cowardly to hit other boys, and probably thought girls were easy targets.
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