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Old 11-09-2014, 05:38 PM
 
Location: PANAMA
1,423 posts, read 1,394,006 times
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It happens often with interracial couples as well.

In my country (latin america) when we see a black dude with a good looking white woman, we often think:

1. She's damaged

2. She's european

3. He's rich

4. He's well endowed

5. She will never date a white man again

Often society and stereotypes put us on the spot, and we repeat the lies they thought us.
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Old 11-12-2014, 03:54 PM
 
4,792 posts, read 6,053,895 times
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I think all of these women are beautiful

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Old 11-12-2014, 04:35 PM
 
Location: Birmingham
11,787 posts, read 17,766,907 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EddieOlSkool View Post
I think all of these women are beautiful
They are all pretty, but the one on the right would definitely catch my eye first.

I also don't think she's big enough to be considered "larger" for what the OP is talking about.
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Old 11-12-2014, 04:37 PM
 
4,792 posts, read 6,053,895 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tourian View Post
They are all pretty, but the one on the right would definitely catch my eye first.

I also don't think she's big enough to be considered "larger" for what the OP is talking about.
You sure about that? Look earlier and see that the other two women I posted were considered large.

She looks like she is in the high 100s, low 200s.
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Old 11-12-2014, 05:09 PM
 
Location: Birmingham
11,787 posts, read 17,766,907 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EddieOlSkool View Post
You sure about that? Look earlier and see that the other two women I posted were considered large.

She looks like she is in the high 100s, low 200s.
But her weight is not the whole story. There is a world of difference between a Lane Bryant model or any top notch plus sized model and the average woman on the street. Even if they weigh the same. The woman in that picture carries her weight in all the right places, has great skin and a pretty face and great hair. Yes, the anonymous nerd on the internet will still call her fat and nasty and claim they wouldn't look at her with someone else's eyeballs, but she'd wouldn't culled on the street or in most any real world situation.

Move a few genes around and that same 200 ish pounds could be lumpy, flabby, small chested, flat bottomed, greasy skin, hair and odd features and all bets are off.
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Old 11-12-2014, 07:32 PM
 
1,562 posts, read 1,491,643 times
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I have to question whether some of the posters on this thread are being totally honest. I'll freely admit I've seen younger couples in public and have asked myself "what on earth is he doing with her?". Ladies, you've never asked yourself "How did she get him"? Be honest.
Yes, I do question why a thin, attractive man would be with an obese woman. And yes, I do look at him differently. I presume that there's something wrong with him. I figure he's probably a bum and she supports him, or some other reason. When I see older couples like this, I assume she gained all of the weight after they were married and now he's stuck.
How any man could see two women, one fit, the other obese(all else being equal), and prefer the latter is beyond me. Obviously a few do, but they're a tiny minority, just an aberration. I would guess that more than 99% of men prefer women who are of normal weight. I think it's only natural to wonder what is different about the few who don't.
Now before you start calling me shallow and lecturing me with all of the silly adages("It's what's on the inside that counts"), understand that how one takes care of their body and appearance says a lot about them. Again, be honest, how many of you don't care at all about your partner's weight? Don't you think your partner has an obligation to take care of him/herself and remain physically attractive to you? If your partner was obese when you met, would you have pursued him/her?
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Old 11-12-2014, 07:35 PM
 
4,792 posts, read 6,053,895 times
Reputation: 2729
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mysterious Benefactor View Post
I have to question whether some of the posters on this thread are being totally honest. I'll freely admit I've seen younger couples in public and have asked myself "what on earth is he doing with her?". Ladies, you've never asked yourself "How did she get him"? Be honest.
Yes, I do question why a thin, attractive man would be with an obese woman. And yes, I do look at him differently. I presume that there's something wrong with him. I figure he's probably a bum and she supports him, or some other reason. When I see older couples like this, I assume she gained all of the weight after they were married and now he's stuck.
How any man could see two women, one fit, the other obese(all else being equal), and prefer the latter is beyond me. Obviously a few do, but they're a tiny minority, just an aberration. I would guess that more than 99% of men prefer women who are of normal weight. I think it's only natural to wonder what is different about the few who don't.
Now before you start calling me shallow and lecturing me with all of the silly adages("It's what's on the inside that counts"), understand that how one takes care of their body and appearance says a lot about them. Again, be honest, how many of you don't care at all about your partner's weight? Don't you think your partner has an obligation to take care of him/herself and remain physically attractive to you? If your partner was obese when you met, would you have pursued him/her?
Yeah I personally like women like those pictured on the left in the picture above. Petite, small boned, very thin. It's very attractive to me. I realize that if I combine this with my genes (also small boned and smaller) that our kids will be picked on. But at least they will have quite the metabolisms.
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Old 11-12-2014, 09:08 PM
 
Location: I live wherever I am.
1,935 posts, read 4,775,972 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by T_DC View Post
I get that but that applies to most people. Shemar Moore might be your ideal but waiting around for him and others like him is a pipe dream for the average woman so waiting around for your ideal doesn't seem realistic especially if you have an attraction to other types. Even if you're dating Halle Berry the average guys head would still be on a swivel so I'm not sure that it means anything that the eye wanders if you're not dating your version of a 10. I would think that she should be rightfully mad if you lied about liking her at all.
If I found out that my wife's physically ideal man was someone other than me, it would hurt regardless of how "inaccessible" the other man is. If a woman thinks that Shemar Moore is "ideal", then she ought to find a guy who looks damn near Shemar Moore. I'm sure that he isn't the only dude out there who looks like he does... he's just the most visible due to being on TV.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mysterious Benefactor View Post
I have to question whether some of the posters on this thread are being totally honest.
My honesty is so legendary that even my ex-wife, with whom I had many a fight during our tempestuous three-year marriage, has said that I am the most honest person she's ever known (she said this after the divorce, and I still have the e-mail to prove it). Thus, you can rightly assume that I am being totally honest.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mysterious Benefactor View Post
I'll freely admit I've seen younger couples in public and have asked myself "what on earth is he doing with her?".
I dare you to ask me that someday. If my wife is not around, such that she won't be in any way embarrassed, I might just tell you the truth!

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mysterious Benefactor View Post
Yes, I do question why a thin, attractive man would be with an obese woman. And yes, I do look at him differently. I presume that there's something wrong with him. I figure he's probably a bum and she supports him, or some other reason. When I see older couples like this, I assume she gained all of the weight after they were married and now he's stuck.
Actually my wife has been losing weight since we got together. At the rate she's going, by the time we're gray-haired, few people will be calling her "fat". But then again, who knows. She has very wide hip bones. Thus, hopefully she'll always have that booty no matter how much weight she loses.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mysterious Benefactor View Post
How any man could see two women, one fit, the other obese(all else being equal), and prefer the latter is beyond me. Obviously a few do, but they're a tiny minority, just an aberration.
I don't know about that. It's no great secret that ~2/3 of Americans are overweight and about 1/3 of Americans are obese. I can't imagine that that 1/3 of Americans has a substantially smaller proportion of admirers.

And even if they are an aberration, so what? Do you look at two gay men and think the same things that you mentioned in your post?

"And yes, I do look at him differently. I presume that there's something wrong with him." - do you think there's something wrong with a gay person?

If not, if you think that homosexuality is not a choice, then you might do well to think the same way about people like me who prefer large members of the opposite gender. I've been this way since age 2 and none of my efforts to change that amounted to anything... though I did date some short and/or thin women in my time, I was never satisfied with the way they look. Now I've got a woman who is 6'3" and not far removed from 400 pounds... and I can't tell you how great it is to look at her every day and see my idea of real beauty. It totally blows away looking at my girl and thinking that there are others whose appearances I prefer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mysterious Benefactor View Post
I would guess that more than 99% of men prefer women who are of normal weight. I think it's only natural to wonder what is different about the few who don't.
This is a phenomenon limited to Western cultures and those that have been strongly influenced by Western culture. In Samoa, fat = beautiful in both genders. In many cultures in other continents that aren't influenced by Western culture, a fat woman = a tougher and more capable woman. I actually read a study a few years back which determined that in cultures influenced by Western culture, the ideal chest - waist - hips ratio in a woman is 1:0.7:1. However, in cultures without that influence, it is 1:1:1. Go figure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mysterious Benefactor View Post
Now before you start calling me shallow and lecturing me with all of the silly adages("It's what's on the inside that counts"), understand that how one takes care of their body and appearance says a lot about them. Again, be honest, how many of you don't care at all about your partner's weight?
ME!! I can honestly say I don't care one bit about my wife's weight. When I first met her, she was 456 pounds and she was gorgeous. She's now 372 and she's gorgeous. I occasionally bust a little push to get her to keep losing weight, but only because she regularly talks about wanting to do so (or she complains about something that her size makes uncomfortable or impossible)... so it's not because I care personally, it's because I know that she'd be happier at a lower weight. If I knew that she'd never have any health problems due to her weight, and she was totally happy at this weight, I'd never say a word. She looks amazing at her current size. No sense changing perfection arbitrarily.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mysterious Benefactor View Post
Don't you think your partner has an obligation to take care of him/herself and remain physically attractive to you? If your partner was obese when you met, would you have pursued him/her?
Where my wife is concerned, I have very few demands in this arena. She knows that if she wants to be optimally attractive to me, she should do the following:

1) Shower at least once every other day (hey, everyone stinks eventually)
2) Leave her hair down (form is unimportant - it can air-dry from the shower for all I care)
3) Be naked (come on, men, you know you prefer your wives this way) or wear tight / form-fitting clothing (tank top and shorts preferred, but comfort in the present weather conditions is more important)

And that's it. If that's an obligation, I say it's asking for very little. I'm married to the most beautiful woman alive, after all... she doesn't have to do anything to look beautiful or remain attractive to me.
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Old 11-12-2014, 10:36 PM
 
Location: San Antonio, TX
11,495 posts, read 26,868,439 times
Reputation: 28036
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mysterious Benefactor View Post
I have to question whether some of the posters on this thread are being totally honest. I'll freely admit I've seen younger couples in public and have asked myself "what on earth is he doing with her?". Ladies, you've never asked yourself "How did she get him"? Be honest.
Yes, I do question why a thin, attractive man would be with an obese woman. And yes, I do look at him differently. I presume that there's something wrong with him. I figure he's probably a bum and she supports him, or some other reason. When I see older couples like this, I assume she gained all of the weight after they were married and now he's stuck.
How any man could see two women, one fit, the other obese(all else being equal), and prefer the latter is beyond me. Obviously a few do, but they're a tiny minority, just an aberration. I would guess that more than 99% of men prefer women who are of normal weight. I think it's only natural to wonder what is different about the few who don't.
Now before you start calling me shallow and lecturing me with all of the silly adages("It's what's on the inside that counts"), understand that how one takes care of their body and appearance says a lot about them. Again, be honest, how many of you don't care at all about your partner's weight? Don't you think your partner has an obligation to take care of him/herself and remain physically attractive to you? If your partner was obese when you met, would you have pursued him/her?

I know lots of women who were obese when they got married. It's pretty normal here. My mother told me and my sisters that we'd never be able to get married unless we slimmed down to a size 8 or lower. We've all proved her wrong and we all found men who she considers attractive, which is kind of funny.
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Old 11-13-2014, 09:31 AM
 
Location: Hampton Roads
3,032 posts, read 4,734,733 times
Reputation: 4425
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mysterious Benefactor View Post
How any man could see two women, one fit, the other obese(all else being equal), and prefer the latter is beyond me.
In what situations though are "all else being equal"? This will NEVER happen except in a world of purely hypothetical situations.

I had an attractive, but obese professor in college. She was married to a very attractive, muscular college professor. She had a doctorate in English Literature while he was a doctorate in Business Management. When you saw them together, you understood why they were together: they had a fluid natural ease around each other and a very similar sense of humor. You could see the amount of mutual attraction, respect, and love that was there. The two together were just good fun! They're still married ten years later, so I assume it's working! It's sad to think most people would see them on the street and wonder what is he doing with her.... Rather, I'd like to think that if they got to know her as a person, they'd see how lucky he is!

What you are saying takes out the humanity of it all. I would be more upset if my partner was complacent about learning new things, lacked ambition, and wasn't a person of integrity worthy of my respect.

I also think I would look down more on a guy that was dating an unintelligent woman who could never take care of herself and needs a man to support her than I would for dating a larger woman. Far more.
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